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Webkinz Recipes We'll (Hopefully) Never See

Okay, so we know that Webkinz can cook up some pretty outrageous foodstuffs with some pretty outrageous ingredients. I guess I'm okay with it, since it's all just virtual food (although I still feel disclaimers would be helpful; something to the effect of, "No actual cheesecake was harmed in the making of this Blustagush"). Even so, there are certain lines that should not be crossed. Let us hope that the following recipes never see the light of day.

Double Cat Gagger
Appliance: Stove
Ingredients: Asparagus, Tabasco Sauce, Hair
If the spicy, slimy asparagus doesn't make your 'kinz gag, the hair will!

Appliance: Stove
Ingredients: French Fries, Strawberries, Abnormal Brain
Before you serve this to your guests, make sure you've hidden your torches and pitchforks.



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Mirage Snacker
Sandwich Maker
Ingredients: Bread, Sand, Cactus
Sure, you may never end up stranded in the desert and dying of thirst; but that shouldn't stop you from eating like it!

Jurassic Calzone
Appliance: Sandwich Maker
Ingredients: Waffles, Salad, Tyrannosaurus
Mad scientists are hard at work reconstructing dinosaur DNA, in order to bring you food that will eat you. They're getting their funding from mad politicians who ran for office on a "family values" platform. It's things like this that made Plato hate democracy.

Applaince: Blender
Ingredients: Chocolate, Cola, Nitroglycerin
Before mixing this volatile cocktail, make sure your 'kinz is wearing Ballistic Goggles and a Kevlar Vest (Curio Ship Only). Additional batches will require the purchase of additional blenders.

The Abomination Which Causeth Desolation
Appliance: Blender
Ingredients: Pork Chops, Golden Calf, Wrath of God
The chef who survives the preparation of this dubious delicacy is rewarded with a robust, blasphemous taste and minty aftertones.

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