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NEWS FLASH: Webkinz World Announces Formation of Kinz Corps

Webkinz World officials formally confirmed today what conspiracy theorists have for months suspected: the formation of a standing army, the Kinz Corps, to protect the Kinzish people from foreign enemies.

"Actually, we're only a standing army part of the time," clarified General Chester S. Catton, the Kinz Corps' commanding officer. "We're also a sitting army. And at night, we're usually a lying-down army."

(General Catton inspects the ranks.)

At its inception, the Kinz Corps consists of five battalions of 1,000 Webkinz each. There is also a Sigma 6 Dragonhawk Dropship (TM) which is on loan from G.I. Joe. Each Kinz Corps soldier is hardened by three months of intensive training and is armed with a 5.56 cm M-12 bubble gun.


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"The M-12 bubble guns were designed specifically for the Kinz Corps," said Gen. Catton. "Development was an interesting process. We were given to understand that ammunition for most small arms is measured in millimeters, not centimeters. But at 5.56 mm, well... those were some mighty tiny bubbles. As it stands, M-12s represent the finest in bubble gun technology, with a maximum effective range of ten feet and enough soapy power to stun a hummingbird."

Critics of the Kinz Corps are quick to point out that there have been no indications of any threat to Webkinz World from, or from any other sector. "We are a peace-loving, inoffensive and adorable people," said a chihuahua who would not disclose his real name, except to say that it was emphatically not Poncho Villa. "I cannot imagine why anyone would want to invade Webkinz World. What do we have that could entice anyone to attack us, except for a virtually unlimited amount of food and cash?"

The chihuahua thought for a minute about what he'd said, then added, "On second thought, we'd better ask G.I. Joe for some more tanks."

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