Webkinz World officials formally confirmed today what conspiracy theorists have for months suspected: the formation of a standing army, the Kinz Corps, to protect the Kinzish people from foreign enemies.
"Actually, we're only a standing army part of the time," clarified General Chester S. Catton, the Kinz Corps' commanding officer. "We're also a sitting army. And at night, we're usually a lying-down army."
(General Catton inspects the ranks.)
At its inception, the Kinz Corps consists of five battalions of 1,000 Webkinz each. There is also a Sigma 6 Dragonhawk Dropship (TM) which is on loan from G.I. Joe. Each Kinz Corps soldier is hardened by three months of intensive training and is armed with a 5.56 cm M-12 bubble gun.
The recent availability of Queen Marie's Periwig at the Curio Shop is being blamed for the rash of faux-Shakespearean accents that has been sweeping Webkinz World.
Said Ribbitus the frog, "My neighbor Patricia got one of those wigs a little while ago. It seems like as soon as she put it on her head, it knocked her brain clear back to the middle ages. She can't even speak to me anymore without spouting out enough 'thees' and 'thous' to choke a donkey."
"Verily, methinks he doth protest too much," sniffed Patricia in reply. "Hearken to me, dear Ribbitus: it becomes not a frog of such noble stature as thyself, to be stirred to bitter envy by my alabaster adornment."
"See?" snapped Ribbitus. "And I'm pretty sure she just made up at least three new words right there!" A fierce, maddened gleam crept into the frog's bulbous eyes. "One of these days..." he whispered, "one of these days... I'm going to burn that wig..."
It has been confirmed that Bob the Tomato, host of the popular Veggie Tales children's videos, is alive and well, two days after Plumpy the Hippo allegedly ate him.
According to a police report, Plumpy turned herself in at 8:15 pm on Sunday, saying, "I think I've eaten him; I think I've just eaten Bob the Tomato." She went on to describe how, while preparing dinner, "I heard a voice coming from a tomato saying, 'God made you special and he loves you very much.' And I said to the tomato, 'Well, thanks, I'm sure God made you special too.' And then I just threw it into the stew -- because my food, it tries to sweet talk me, tries to get out of being eaten -- it happens a lot. But then after dinner I thought about it, and I wondered, 'Did I really just eat Bob?'"
(He's okay, everybody! He's okay!)
Police immediately began attempts to contact Bob's publicist at Big Idea Studios in order to establish his whereabouts. As there are no laws against eating vegetables (talking or otherwise), Plumpy was simply referred to Dr. Hippocampus for psychiatric evaluation.
Wow, there sure are a lot of different Webkinz. And, as you must surely suspect, GANZ has several new ones in the works as we speak. But did you ever wonder why certain animals are chosen to be made into Webkinz, and others not? Some of the reasons might surprise you. Following are a few examples of animals that have been considered, but ultimately rejected, for "the plush treatment."
Chinchilla Why it Would be Cool: This South American rodent has the softest fur of any animal and, despite appearing to be a Frankenstein mishmash of rabbit, mouse and squirrel, is not at all creepy. Why It Ain't Gonna Happen: "Uh, what's a chinchilla?" And also, on second thought, it is kinda creepy.
Rattlesnake Why it Would be Cool: Rattlesnakes have rattles in their tails. That's right, people -- they come with built-in toys! They are therefore, by default, the coolest animal ever. Why it Ain't Gonna Happen: Rattlesnakes have no feet. Hence, they can wear no shoes. They would have to be allocated their own special "Dress Your Pet" screen, which apparently violates some policy GANZ has about favoritism. Not that you'd think giving a break to the guy with no feet would be a bad thing, but whatever.
Parrot Why it Would be Cool: This delightful tropical bird has vibrant colors and would look adorable dressed up in a little pirate outfit. Why it Ain't Gonna Happen: A natural and irrepressible mimic, the parrot would quickly pick up on all those naughty words you say when you lose at Goober's Lab. It would teach them to the other Webkinz. And then, faster than you can say "Atomicolicious," Webkinz World has turned into South Park with fur. You don't want that to happen, do you?
Hello all, I'm here to teach you how to get by that pesky course on WEBKINZ MINI GOLF. Today I will start with hole number 2 since Justin has already done hole 1.
Now hole 2 is one of the more straightforward holes on the course. (No pun intended) Here is a picture of how your supposed to aim and how much power you should use.
ok. I suggest you use full power because if you miss the ball will bounce back and you will have any easy par to keep your score down.
It takes a lot of practice and a good eye to get a hole in one on this hole every time. If you can't get that hole in one it's good to be able to set up short shots. You will see me use the strategy more and more once we get to the back nine. Remember this is a par 2 so make sure you are cautious if you chose not to use full power because the ball may not make it up the hole.
Well I'll be back to show you how to beat hole 3 soon. So long for now and keep practicing.
Off the course: I find it most effective to use Taylor, because it appears she has better control then the other 3 golfers. If you like power go with the Basset Hound ;)
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