I can't believe Arte is giving me another chance. I hope this time is much better than the last. It has to be. Dogbeard and Chef will be there. I hop in my golf cart and head to the Golf course.
"Benevuto Merthyn! Benevuto! "
"Morning Chef! Is everyone already here?"
"Yes-a we are a-ready to a -go and-a atta the first-a hole. I-a was here a-waiting for a-you."
"Morning Merthyn," Arte and Dogbeard said in unison.
"Morning Arte. Morning Dogbeard. Let me throw the tee up to see who goes first. Arte, looks like you are first, then Chef, then me and sorry Dogbeard, you are last."
"I don't mind being last. Gives me a chance to see my competition."
We all just laughed.
Our golf game was going great til we hit the 14th hole. It was my turn.
"Uh-oo," I said.
"Ahhh it does-inna look-a good Merthyn."
"Yep. You got it in the raspberries. Good Luck Merthyn," Dogbeard said.
The shop looks dark, better slip in the back.
"Hello Arte?"
"Merthyn over here."
"What's going on here Arte?"
" Merthyn, I have so many extra Bowling Alleys, Geographic Globes and Ra's Golden Bureaus that I don't have much room. Seems that not many people bought these items. They asked for rares, so I offered them. I am sending them back to the manufacturer to re-coop some of my money. This is where I need your help."
"You need me to help load them up on the truck right?"
"You are correct. I can use all the help that I can get. I have some help already here. Let's hurry up and get this done so that I have room for my delivery truck that arrives in a couple of hours."
"Oh, hi, Dogbeard."
"Hi Merthyn. Grab the other end of this bowling alley. You can help me load them up."
"Sure thing Dogbeard. I'd be glad to help you."
"I got the Ra's Golden Bureaus," hollered Arte.
"We got the Geographic Globes," shouted Tabby and Chef.
"Hey Dogbeard, have you ever played bowling with Arte?"
"No Merthyn I haven't. I'm usually on my ship."
"That's right! How's Arte handling your boat?"
"SHIP! You mean ship. I own a ship!"
"I'm sorry, I knew that. How is Arte handling your ship?"
"He's coming around slowly. Hey look, only one more to go."
"Let's hurry up and finish Dogbeard, I am getting tired."
"Okay tell me again Merthyn why we are carrying cabbages and melons to Chef Gazpacho's Place?"
"I made a deal with him. I would bring him my home grown vegetables and he in turn would cook us a terrific dinner. Arte, I thought you deserved a fabuous meal with cola that I owe you. Is your shoulder feeling any better?"
"It is Merthyn. The ice pack and rest did it good."
"Not much further Arte, I see Chef's Place."
Ahh, now that-a looks perfecto, a-nothing looks a-better than a nicely set-a table ah?
O-SO-LI- ME-O
mmmm, that-a dinner smells belissimo! When the moon a-hits your eye like-a big a-pizza pie, that's amore' ....
Oh I-a almost-a forgot the Beach Sunrise Frappe's ... I-a gotta put them-a outta on-a the table, everyone willa be-a here very a-soon......
"Hi Chef! It smells wonderful in here," I say.
"Oh Chef, please take these melons from me before I drop them."
"Ohoa! Absolutely Arte! Letta me-a take those and-a you-a two can-a have-a a seat."
"Merthyn, It smells wonderful in here. You would think with my sniffer, that I could pinpoint those ingredients but I can't. I wonder what we are eating tonight?"
A group of pigs referring to themselves as PADL (Piggish Anti-Defamation League) have been filing frivolous lawsuits, staging bizarre protests, and baffling just about everybody, according to just about everybody.
PADL has filed suit against the W Shop for selling Piggy Banks, which it considers "oppressive icons of a cruel stereotype." In a written statement, PADL said, "It is unacceptable, in this supposedly enlightened age, that a major retailer continues to sell Piggy Banks. Those obese ceramic caricatures perpetuate the idea that pigs are all greedy and gluttonous -- so gluttonous, they will even eat spare change."
W Shop assistant manager Kanji Bigmane described his first encounter with PADL: "I was working in the produce department when a pig approached me and asked whether I slept well at night selling Piggy Banks. I shrugged and said, 'Why wouldn't I sleep well?' He said that he hoped I had a good lawyer. He kept following me around, telling me that I was a bigot and saying a lot of stuff I really didn't understand... I got scared and thought that he might be a vampire, so I started throwing garlic at him. Eventually he left."
The Piggish Anti-Defamation League has also lambasted the nursery rhyme, This Little Piggy Went to Market, and has declared that the expression, "eat like a pig," is a vulgar insult that "sullies the piggish soul."
Many pigs are quick to point out that PADL doesn't speak for them; and that, indeed, they are unsure as to what PADL is even trying to say. "I guess they're tyring to say that some pigs don't like to eat so much," said Olaf Oinkerson. "I know I like to eat, but okay, for the sake of argument: 'Some pigs don't like to eat so much.' There, I said it; and I didn't even need to file any lawsuits or resort to weird, semi-apocalyptic language. Wow! Aren't I impressive?"
Another pig mused, "I really hope PADL just goes away. Sure, pigs like to eat; and cats are cute and fuzzy; and gorillas have a thing for bananas. So when I say these things, am I a bigot? If I meet a pig that doesn't like to eat, a cat that wants to be ugly and scary, a gorilla that hates bananas... sure, I'll think they're a little weird. Should it be a crime for me to say so? Are we going to end up seeing lawsuits flying back and forth whenever someone's feelings get hurt?"
He added, "Bottom line, sure, I respect the right of the PADL folks to be different. But I'd appreciate it if they'd also respect my right to be ordinary. Now excuse me; I have a big plate of mud burgers to get back to."
An earthquake measuring 4.2 on the Richter Scale struck Webkinz World yesterday at 3:00 pm and was widely ignored.
"An earthquake, really?" said Hopkins the frog. "At 3:00? Well, that would've been in the middle of my daily trampoline workout. I was bouncing around anyways, so I guess I missed it."
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An earthquake measuring 4.2 on the Richter Scale struck Webkinz World yesterday at 3:00 pm and was widely ignored.