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Old 03-03-2008, 10:52 PM   #31
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Default Re: "No offense" discussion

Well everyone has many opinions. We're all different people. Some of us view it as being polite; while others to it to intentionally hurt someone.

I think it really depends on who is using the phrase and how they use it.


-These threads tend to stir up fights by the way lol =/
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Old 03-03-2008, 10:56 PM   #32
 
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Default Re: "No offense" discussion

Yes, Rissaroo. A thread similar to this one did cause a HUGE fight. I was using it in a post that certainly did not seem offensive to me, or others. But I thought it might to the orignal poster.
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Old 03-04-2008, 12:24 AM   #33
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Default Re: "No offense" discussion

I have not been a member nearly as long as many of you, and I don't get to visit the site as often as I would like. I may have missed some of the bad discussions (I am sure that I have).
I hate to communicate even with my friends this way. I don't type, which is frustrating so I don't chat which is frustrating to them. But it is just really hard to know how your comments are being taken and how to take others. Of course some are just out and out rude and meant to be hurtful. I don't know why. Do we not have enough problems in our lives that we need to make problems here? But as I have stated before, I feel that the vast majority of members do not intend to hurt anyone. They just word things a certain way. Then it happens to someone that is a little too defensive (who me? LOL) and then the arguments start. There is a big difference between discussion and argument. I hope that I can always remember that, and not take everything to heart.
We have made it all the way to page 4 and no arguments! We done good! Especially with a sensitive subject that we all have a little different slant on.
Congratulations to everyone who has written.
Great thread!
Take care,

Pandamonium and Plainlyme
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Old 03-04-2008, 01:12 AM   #34
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Default Re: "No offense" discussion

Most of the time, "No offence" doesn't help, it makes it worse. It really doesn't cover up what ever they said.
Old 03-04-2008, 01:34 AM   #35
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Default Re: "No offense" discussion

"No offense" is like a giant red flag to me most of the time. It signals that something offensive has just been or is about to be said, so stand back


My husband talks about people letting the "but monkey" out of the cage at work. Someone will say something like, "Gosh, Dan, your presentation was amazing, but...." Basically, after the "but monkey" is let out, all the good stuff you said before it is forgotten, and only the bad stuff you said after is heard and remembered...


Lastly, my all-time biggest pet peeve in this category is --- "Nothing personal"
Ugh...you can bet big money that anytime someone utters "well, it's nothing personal..." that the statement will be outrageously personal to the person they are speaking to or about. It's just not "personal" for the person speaking. Very inconsiderate and empty words.


If you have to say "no offense" or "nothing personal," then you probably have a pretty good gut feeling that what you are saying is hurtful or inappropriate, but you're willing or wanting to say it anyway, so you buffer and try to soften your words with these phoney-baloney phrases.


Naturally, many people are considerate of others' feelings and genuinely do not want to offend anyone (even when they have legitimately critical things to say). Perhaps, we should all abandon these worn out phrases, though, in favor of using more honest words that more accurately express our concern for not hurting another person's feelings.


Instead of while standing in a crowd ... "No offense, but your breath reeks! My eyes are watering!"

Try, in private ... "This is very uncomfortable for me to tell you, but I respect you as a friend and would really want you to tell me this...your breath is strong. May I offer you some gum? My chicken had way too much garlic on it, too."

Last edited by shakesister; 03-04-2008 at 01:37 AM..
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Old 03-04-2008, 02:12 AM   #36
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Default Re: "No offense" discussion

I think this topic is TOTALLY interesting.One thing I think is "no offense" can be taken in so many ways.Sadly most ways are wrong.But look around,I dont see it much being used wrong!I see it happen alot but its in that way that its okay but not great.Doesnt everybody agree?
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Old 03-04-2008, 02:32 AM   #37
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Default Re: "No offense" discussion

It sets you up from the beginning...No Offense...makes your hair stand on end because you KNOW the next thing they say WILL be critical. If you are going to punctuate a sentence...Do it at the end, NOT the beginning.
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Old 03-04-2008, 02:34 AM   #38
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Default Re: "No offense" discussion

View Post Originally Posted by Dixiecup
It sets you up from the beginning...No Offense...makes your hair stand on end because you KNOW the next thing they say WILL be critical. If you are going to punctuate a sentence...Do it at the end, NOT the beginning.
I agree with you,but think of it this way:No offense but the tree frog webkinz is super ugly!There isn't any offense part to that!I just checked all the categories and the new posts,and barely anybody says "no offense" in a bad way.
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Old 03-04-2008, 02:42 AM   #39
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Default Re: "No offense" discussion

I will say this much, it is just an opinion. Anyone can say that a certain pet is 'ugly' but that does not make it so for the next person. To take offense to someone's opinion is not wrong, to voice it in a manner that invalidates that opinion is. People are entitled to feel that way and sometimes, nothing you can say will change it. I like chocolate, that doesn't mean that I have a right to expect everyone to agree with me. Rep point Cuteforpup, you too Shakesister...people are trying to be pleasant, it's just some are taking it the wrong way.

Last edited by Dixiecup; 03-04-2008 at 02:47 AM..
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Old 03-04-2008, 02:56 AM   #40
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Default Re: "No offense" discussion

Dixiecup,I say rep point too for you.What you just said was so well put.Every little word you said I could agree with.I really am surprised that nobody has gotten into a fight about this.However I do think "no offense" can be taken in a wrong and right way.Thats just my full opinion.It's not a fact.
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