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Old 01-26-2009, 07:01 PM   #21
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Default Re: *Attention all users, and especially uberusers!*

View Post Originally Posted by soccerox7
Hi everyone!

I'd just like to point something out that I've noticed in the ideas and suggestion section.

No, I haven't really seen people say things like, "what a stupid idea!"

But some people, and a few uberusers (people with lots of rep and stars and such), criticizing people's ideas (even lightly and well-intentionally pointing out flaws) is a little problem-causing.

*Please keep in mind, uberusers, that you are role models to newer members!*

I've seen people write things like, "I think that we should have a new thread section!" and someone else going, "that would be too much work," or "people should already know that red is a color they shouldn't type in." I know that their intentions are good, but little comments like these can start up fights, which no one needs.

The best way to avoid this is to say before you point out a flaw in someone's suggestion or reminder is to say, "That's a good idea, but..." or, "Thanks for reminding us, but..." This way no one is hurt and fights don't get started.

Thanks!
I agree with Lily, too.
It's okay to point out small flaws, but some people get kind of rude about it.

-Bella
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Old 01-26-2009, 07:06 PM   #22
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Default Re: *Attention all users, and especially uberusers!*

In my family,we have a saying..it goes like this:
"Do not listen to just what I say;but
Please listen to what I Mean.."
may be that is what the difference is making to some of us here..We know what we want to say,but have trouble saying it!
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Old 01-26-2009, 07:15 PM   #23
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Default Re: *Attention all users, and especially uberusers!*

View Post Originally Posted by Asacardimus
I guess what we are all agreeing is that we should be more aware of our 'tone of typer' and remember that the other person cannot see the facial expression that goes with the words we type. Misunderstanding can be inevitable if you are not super careful with how you phrase stuff. It's good to be reminded of this little detail from time to time
Well I totally agree with you..You can not (or I can not) tell someones tone of voice or facial expression,body language ect when typing...I go by...if you can not say something nice then say nothing...A very nice thread,there can never be too many reminders to be kind and thoughtful..
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Old 01-26-2009, 07:37 PM   #24
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Default Re: *Attention all users, and especially uberusers!*

View Post Originally Posted by KeyLargo
Okay, what is the difference between "criticizing people's ideas (even lightly and well-intentionally pointing out flaws)" and "That's a good idea, but..." or, "Thanks for reminding us, but..." ?

I also think that everyone, new or not, should realize that writing does not show facial expressions, body language, or overall tone -- mainly so they don't take things so personal, because in each discussion it is just that, with various opinions.

I've seen a post where everyone was agreeing to disagree, but putting out all the differences {from their own experiences and such} and there always seems to be 1 or 2 who have to take every comment personal, like it's an attack directed at them, just at them, and so forth. It has to go both ways to be interaction, and both parties {or all parties} need to realize that or that's when something gets deleted and all. It's not an attack, it's SUPPOSED to be a discussion {back and forth} on all the views and such.

I've had a complaint from one of these people just because they were making it personal, and what they complained about was that I capped a couple of words here and there for emphasis, claiming I was shouting -- yet others in that section had done the exact same thing but nothing was said to them by the person {or anyone else} about doing that, even though none of us did a whole lot of capping the words so we wouldn't be 'shouting'. That not only is ridiculous but it got everything totally away from the point of the post to begin with.
I see your point of view. People do sometimes take things a little too personally.
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Old 01-26-2009, 08:11 PM   #25
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Default Re: *Attention all users, and especially uberusers!*

That is a good reminder to the users who do point out flaws, they need to remember to do it nicely. I like to encourage new ideas that sound helpful but I do point out when someone would be or is breaking a rule. I make it as nice as possible though.
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Old 01-26-2009, 08:23 PM   #26
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Default Re: *Attention all users, and especially uberusers!*

Well I sent a PM about a songwriting section... But a bunch of uberusers are really nice, they're just more, um, outspoken with their opinions. I wouldn't take it personally. I'll see a post by an uberuser, think, "Why would they even share that?" And then ignore it. Or you could say, "Thanks for the comment." And that's that. No fighting, no ALL CAPS TYPING LIKE THIS, no rude 'tude thread pollution. End of story. Now, how hard was that?
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Old 01-26-2009, 08:26 PM   #27
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Default Re: *Attention all users, and especially uberusers!*

View Post Originally Posted by soccerox7
Someone might say, "It's already in the rules that so and so, and they should already know", but if you make it "Thanks for reminding us, but it's already in the rules and most users should already know. Thanks, anyways!" See how different the tone is, but with the same intentions?
So how is the first example "criticizing people's ideas (even lightly and well-intentionally pointing out flaws)"?

I find it much easier and much more to the point to explain my point of view then put in a link {so for this thread I would probably have looked up and pasted the rules links and maybe a couple or so others} -- that way the poster can find out what is out there, learn some things, and be helped out at the same time all the while also learning that everyone has a point of view, sometimes very personal point of view of certain things, but that the discussion itself should remain civil.


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Old 01-26-2009, 08:27 PM   #28
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Default Re: *Attention all users, and especially uberusers!*

I totally agree, soccorox! Thanks for posting this!
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Old 01-26-2009, 09:08 PM   #29
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Default Re: *Attention all users, and especially uberusers!*

I don't really consider myself, an "uberuser" but that made me wonder, was i ever unintentionally rude? I ahve never tried to be, I usually try to point out at least one thing to improve so I don;t sound fake. Sometimes, I admit, I lose paitence with them same idea being pitched over and over, when there is a simple explination for why they can't happen. I am sincerly sorry if I was ever rude.
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Old 01-26-2009, 09:17 PM   #30
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Default Re: *Attention all users, and especially uberusers!*

View Post Originally Posted by soccerox7
Hi everyone!

I'd just like to point something out that I've noticed in the ideas and suggestion section.

No, I haven't really seen people say things like, "what a stupid idea!"

But some people, and a few uberusers (people with lots of rep and stars and such), criticizing people's ideas (even lightly and well-intentionally pointing out flaws) is a little problem-causing.

*Please keep in mind, uberusers, that you are role models to newer members!*

I've seen people write things like, "I think that we should have a new thread section!" and someone else going, "that would be too much work," or "people should already know that red is a color they shouldn't type in." I know that their intentions are good, but little comments like these can start up fights, which no one needs.

The best way to avoid this is to say before you point out a flaw in someone's suggestion or reminder is to say, "That's a good idea, but..." or, "Thanks for reminding us, but..." This way no one is hurt and fights don't get started.

Thanks!
I'm inclined to agree with you here I understand that many look up to people w/ rainbows, spinnies, and infinite giftz points Some even say that I might fit into this category, but I won't go into that now, LOL.

If I think an area would be too much work, i don't say so. I just either A. Reply, giving my SIMILAR idea in a totally unrude way or B. just skip the thread and don't reply.

If people don't know, I really do try my best to be nice and deliver all of my thoughts and opinions in a way that isn't meant to be taken wrong I just remind myself that people aren't TRYING to make me upset or anything, they don't know me, and they don't know what kind of day I had today. I remind myself that IF they did know me personally, they would not have done that to me on purpose, and that usually resolves my feelngs
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