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Old 07-01-2013, 09:26 AM   #21
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Default Re: "Would Have" Does Not Exist!

I agree with you that we shouldn't live with regret as a constant burden on us. That is crippling.
I do believe though that not everything we've done in the past was meant to be, or okay to just let it slip by without it being addressed. I think that it's right and good to regret our past mistakes and do what we can to make it right. Either to ask forgiveness for it, or go and fix what we've done. (as best we can)
Regret is what helps us learn the lessons from our mistakes.
I guess my first thought was child abuse. If parents don't feel regret and make things right, and feel like everything that happened was meant to be and okay.. then that's wrong. (just an example)
Regret and guilt are sometimes the best thing that we can feel, so that people learn and avoid those actions in the future.
I think it's vital to apologize and ask forgiveness before we toss regret to the side and move forward.

I do agree with you though, that once we've addressed our guilt and it's been resolved, it's good to move forward without regret.

Last edited by Desty; 07-01-2013 at 09:32 AM..
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Old 07-01-2013, 09:58 AM   #22
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Default Re: "Would Have" Does Not Exist!

View Post Originally Posted by SophieKinz
Hello everyone. I have been inspired to make this motivational thread.

I have a little philosophy I try to live by. I know, especially as teens and preteens and young adults and even adults--
Okay, especially as people, we live with a lot of regrets whether we want to admit it or not. But really there's no reason to. Try not to imagine your mistakes and regrets as "I should have done _____" or "I would have done ______" Because in all reality, what happened, happened. There is no "would have". The events that occurred are fact. You can't go back or even imagine going back, because whatever your mistakes are, they were meant to be.

I know that's a bit confusing, but in summary... don't have regrets. Because what happened, was meant to be. And that's 100% okay.
Thank you for posting this Sophie! What you said is so true. What happened is what happened.
Although, I think it's good to have regrets and guilt at times. If you never did that, then that would mean you were always right, which, as humans, we are not always right.

If we all thought we were right all the time, then what would make people strive to do better in the future? There are the pros and cons to "would haves", and sometimes it is best not to think and regret over somethings.

But, I think what you are getting at, is the stuff we had no control over, which, in that case, we shouldn't regret over that something, since, it was meant to happen.

Last edited by gympuppy; 07-01-2013 at 10:05 AM..
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Old 07-03-2013, 10:27 AM   #23
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Default Re: "Would Have" Does Not Exist!

This is so true! I try to live by that as well! Though it can be difficult! TY for making a thread about this!
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Old 07-04-2013, 11:13 AM   #24
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Default Re: "Would Have" Does Not Exist!

This is a brilliant thread, thanks for posting. It's so true; if you can't do anything about the past, there's no reason to keep dwelling over what you should have done.
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Old 07-04-2013, 07:27 PM   #25
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Default Re: "Would Have" Does Not Exist!

Very nice post!
I have found that in my own life dwelling on the past is a mistake in itself and only prolongs the problem. But also I have found that things do happen for a reason, even if the reason is not clear for many years. : )

View Post Originally Posted by Desty
I agree with you that we shouldn't live with regret as a constant burden on us. That is crippling.
I do believe though that not everything we've done in the past was meant to be, or okay to just let it slip by without it being addressed. I think that it's right and good to regret our past mistakes and do what we can to make it right. Either to ask forgiveness for it, or go and fix what we've done. (as best we can)
Regret is what helps us learn the lessons from our mistakes.
I guess my first thought was child abuse. If parents don't feel regret and make things right, and feel like everything that happened was meant to be and okay.. then that's wrong. (just an example)
Regret and guilt are sometimes the best thing that we can feel, so that people learn and avoid those actions in the future.
I think it's vital to apologize and ask forgiveness before we toss regret to the side and move forward.

I do agree with you though, that once we've addressed our guilt and it's been resolved, it's good to move forward without regret.
Very good point. Regret does have a place.
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