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Old 07-16-2011, 06:09 PM   #1
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Default I want freedom!

Thanks for clicking guys I hope you'll read the whole thing, and maybe give some advice.. One thing I want to say before hand, is please don't post comments saying Your perfect how you are and shouldn't bother yourself with those things, because it was my choice to think about them. Anyway-
I'm kinda in a tough situation right now. I ((in my opinion)) am at an age where I should get to start to get more freedom, and be able to make more of my own choices. For instance, my clothes. My mom doesn't like it when I wear tank tops, but if I do wear one, it has to have a high neck line, and thick straps. Even then, she still thinks it shows to much skin. My friend gave me an adorable tank top last week, and I showed it to my mom and she said, "It might look cute if you put a T-shirt under it." And shorts? Anything a tiny bit above the knee is considered inappropriate in my house I don't want to wear short shorts, but I want to have shorts that I don't have to roll up. And makeup? It was only about 2 months ago my mom decided I could wear colored lip gloss, and she isn't budging about anything else. Not even clear mascara! And now about making my own choices. I make my own money, and its not just pocket change, I have a job ((paper route.. its small, but still considered a job)) but my mom doesn't let me spend my money how I want to. I understand she doesn't want me to make bad decisions, but seriously. Last time I went to the mall, my mom said I couldn't by anything because Sunday isn't really a day to be buying stuff at the mall. Yeah. And whenever I go to the mall with my friends, they always make sure the cell phone I take is on, and they give me a time to come back by, and they always tell me, "Remember, no shoplifting!" And they say it like they think I honestly will steal something.
I'm really shy when it comes to talking about my parents, and I HATE hurting their feelings, so sitting down and talking to them about this would be really hard for me. We are a Christian family, so they insist I dress modestly at all times. And the clothes I wish I could wear are not inappropriate.
Thanks so much for reading the whole thing, I know your probably so bored you fell half asleep while reading.. But still. Here's a cookie for your trouble
So.. Yeah. Does anyone have advice on how I could get my parents to give me more freedom??
Thanks
Oh, if you want an example, here--
I remember once my friends came over for a few nights, and they brought movie Alice in Wonderland ((the new one)) and I really wanted to watch it. So I asked my parents, and they said they would have to watch it first. The next day I asked if I could, ((they had watched it the night before)) and my dad got all mad and said, "You can watch once, and once only. I don't want talking to any of your friends about this movie saying that it was an awesome movie, because it wasn't!"
Then I always tell them ((if they get mad)) that if they really don't want me to, I won't, but that only makes them more mad and they just tell me to do whatever.. I just really don't want that to happen.
.::Kaylee::.

Last edited by cocotruper; 07-16-2011 at 09:23 PM..
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Old 07-16-2011, 06:46 PM   #2
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Default Re: I want freedom!

I feel that way all the time. I think one say you should sit down and really talk to your mom and ask her about some more freedom I wouldn't ask for complete freedom,cause you know,baby steps She probably has her reasons that she doesn't want you to do those things. She might not want her baby girl to grow up.

Last edited by FlowerBabiee09; 07-17-2011 at 10:54 AM..
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Old 07-16-2011, 08:23 PM   #3
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Default Re: I want freedom!

View Post Originally Posted by FlowerBabiee09
I feel that way all the time. I think one say you should sit down and really talk to your mom and ask her about some more freedom I wouldn't ask for complete freedom,cause you know,baby steps She probably has her reasons that she doesn't want you to do those things. She might now want her baby girl to grow up.
Yes, it's hard for your parents to see thier little girl grow up. They don't want things to change, but truly, that's not possible.

If you don't want to sit down and talk to them, you could send them an email, explaining how your feeling and that you wish to have a freedom. Like FlowerBabiee said, little steps. (But I think sitting down and talking to them is the better way.)

Best of luck!((hugs))
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Old 07-16-2011, 08:28 PM   #4
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Default Re: I want freedom!

You need to sit down and talk to your parents when they are completely free to talk and not in the middle of other things so they will be less stressed and more willing to listen. Make sure to sound mature and have reasons behind why you want to do the things you are asking about. Whining will get you nowhere and convince your parents to be more protective.
Unfortunately, since most things you want to change are religion-based, your parents will not be likely to budge. If they say no, understand that it is not about anything you did, and that they just believe very strongly in their personal convictions. You will only have to put up with their restrictions for a little longer, and then you will be able to make your own decisions.
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Old 07-16-2011, 08:57 PM   #5
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Default Re: I want freedom!

I understand your problem. If you feel shy talking to them, you could write them notes. Sometimes if I have something that's hard to tell my mom I write a note and I feel better doing that. I hope your problem gets worked out.
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Old 07-16-2011, 09:22 PM   #6
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Default Re: I want freedom!

Thank you guys so much for posting, you have helped a lot. I think I might talk to them, but one thing I don't want to do is make them feel like they have to give into me, like I'm forcing them or something. Example--
I remember once my friends came over for a few nights, and they brought movie Alice in Wonderland ((the new one)) and I really wanted to watch it. So I asked my parents, and they said they would have to watch it first. The next day I asked if I could, ((they had watched it the night before)) and my dad got all mad and said, "You can watch once, and once only. I don't want talking to any of your friends about this movie saying that it was an awesome movie, because it wasn't!"
Then I always tell them ((if they get mad)) that if they really don't want me to, I won't, but that only makes them more mad and they just tell me to do whatever.. I just really don't want that to happen.
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Old 07-16-2011, 10:55 PM   #7
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Default Re: I want freedom!

Sigh I don't know if I have any good advice but I get your situations are tough to deal with. With the Alice in Wonderland movie that is weird they tell you that you could only watch it once. With the tank tops and shorts, I personally don't like them but that's me. And the money thing, well that is silly to say you shouldn't shop on Sunday. I shop on Sundays a lot. If you are making your own money then you should be able to spend it on what you want. If it is hard for you to talk to them face to face you could write them a letter or an email. I do that all the time. Best of luck to you.
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Old 07-17-2011, 02:23 AM   #8
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Default Re: I want freedom!

Hi kaylee! That is a tough situation. I say the best thing you can do is talk to your mom about it, you're her daughter and she has to respect what you want and your feelings. I hope we help out!
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Old 07-17-2011, 02:47 AM   #9
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Default Re: I want freedom!

View Post Originally Posted by cocotruper
Thanks for clicking guys I hope you'll read the whole thing, and maybe give some advice.. One thing I want to say before hand, is please don't post comments saying Your perfect how you are and shouldn't bother yourself with those things, because it was my choice to think about them. Anyway-
I'm kinda in a tough situation right now. I ((in my opinion)) am at an age where I should get to start to get more freedom, and be able to make more of my own choices. For instance, my clothes. My mom doesn't like it when I wear tank tops, but if I do wear one, it has to have a high neck line, and thick straps. Even then, she still thinks it shows to much skin. My friend gave me an adorable tank top last week, and I showed it to my mom and she said, "It might look cute if you put a T-shirt under it." And shorts? Anything a tiny bit above the knee is considered inappropriate in my house I don't want to wear short shorts, but I want to have shorts that I don't have to roll up. And makeup? It was only about 2 months ago my mom decided I could wear colored lip gloss, and she isn't budging about anything else. Not even clear mascara! And now about making my own choices. I make my own money, and its not just pocket change, I have a job ((paper route.. its small, but still considered a job)) but my mom doesn't let me spend my money how I want to. I understand she doesn't want me to make bad decisions, but seriously. Last time I went to the mall, my mom said I couldn't by anything because Sunday isn't really a day to be buying stuff at the mall. Yeah. And whenever I go to the mall with my friends, they always make sure the cell phone I take is on, and they give me a time to come back by, and they always tell me, "Remember, no shoplifting!" And they say it like they think I honestly will steal something.
I'm really shy when it comes to talking about my parents, and I HATE hurting their feelings, so sitting down and talking to them about this would be really hard for me. We are a Christian family, so they insist I dress modestly at all times. And the clothes I wish I could wear are not inappropriate.
Thanks so much for reading the whole thing, I know your probably so bored you fell half asleep while reading.. But still. Here's a cookie for your trouble
So.. Yeah. Does anyone have advice on how I could get my parents to give me more freedom??
Thanks
Oh, if you want an example, here--
I remember once my friends came over for a few nights, and they brought movie Alice in Wonderland ((the new one)) and I really wanted to watch it. So I asked my parents, and they said they would have to watch it first. The next day I asked if I could, ((they had watched it the night before)) and my dad got all mad and said, "You can watch once, and once only. I don't want talking to any of your friends about this movie saying that it was an awesome movie, because it wasn't!"
Then I always tell them ((if they get mad)) that if they really don't want me to, I won't, but that only makes them more mad and they just tell me to do whatever.. I just really don't want that to happen.
.::Kaylee::.
You really need to talk to your parents. My family is Christian, and my mom loved Alice in Wonderland.
You need to tell them that you are getting older. Times are changing. You need to prove to them you are trustworthy, and maybe they will stop saying stuff like, "no shoplifting!"

My parents are like this sometimes. You just need to talk to them. If you talk to your parents like you are really serious, they will respect you and try to compromise.

As for clothing, tank tops aren't a sin. The only thing that would be bad is if you went out wearing a bra as a shirt. My parents let my sister wear tank tops. They probably don't like them because they think you are too little for them. In a parent's eyes, you are still their baby. In their eyes, your still a little kid. That's just a parent thing. They don't want to see you grow up so fast, but time goes by fast. Someday, you will be married and have your own family. Still, they will always think of you as that sweet little child many years ago.

To make this short, I recommend you sit down and have a long talk with your parents. You need to tell them that you are getting older, and that they have to give you some freedom. No parent likes seeing their child grow up. You need to assure them that they need to trust you. Because I talked to my parents, I can go anywhere in the mall I want as long as I have my cell.

I think if you talk to them, they will accept the fact that you are growing up, and they will give you more freedom.
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Old 07-17-2011, 06:49 AM   #10
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Default Re: I want freedom!

View Post Originally Posted by shreds97
You really need to talk to your parents. My family is Christian, and my mom loved Alice in Wonderland.
You need to tell them that you are getting older. Times are changing. You need to prove to them you are trustworthy, and maybe they will stop saying stuff like, "no shoplifting!"

My parents are like this sometimes. You just need to talk to them. If you talk to your parents like you are really serious, they will respect you and try to compromise.

As for clothing, tank tops aren't a sin. The only thing that would be bad is if you went out wearing a bra as a shirt. My parents let my sister wear tank tops. They probably don't like them because they think you are too little for them. In a parent's eyes, you are still their baby. In their eyes, your still a little kid. That's just a parent thing. They don't want to see you grow up so fast, but time goes by fast. Someday, you will be married and have your own family. Still, they will always think of you as that sweet little child many years ago.

To make this short, I recommend you sit down and have a long talk with your parents. You need to tell them that you are getting older, and that they have to give you some freedom. No parent likes seeing their child grow up. You need to assure them that they need to trust you. Because I talked to my parents, I can go anywhere in the mall I want as long as I have my cell.

I think if you talk to them, they will accept the fact that you are growing up, and they will give you more freedom.
Thank you so much for posting this, it helped me a lot. I think i'll talk to them tomorrow, or maybe tonight.
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