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Old 03-12-2010, 04:20 PM   #21
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Default Re: I want to change myself.

First of all, I want to second the idea that religion is not what makes you a good person. I am not religious myself, but I AM a big believer in karma--the idea that what goes around comes around. If you are nice to people, you will have niceness returned to you. If you are mean to people, it will eventually bite you in the backside.

Some ideas for becoming a better person:
1. Do at least one nice thing for someone else daily. It's amazing how good it makes you feel--even when they don't know who did it, or didn't ask for it. When you do your good deed, don't look for compliments or praise yourself--that's not why you're doing it! If you are tempted to do nice things just to show off and prove yourself better than others, then go the anonymous route and do nice things for people who don't know you or do things for people so that they don't know who did it.
2. Compliment others. People tend to be quicker to judge and criticize than to praise and compliment. Even that really slow cashier that's taking forever and is irritating you has something good about her--compliment her earrings, her skin, etc. if not her service.
3. Try to put yourself in other's shoes. It is hard to realize that not everyone has your same situation, and there could be reasons other people do things that bug you. For instance, I used to be a public school teacher, and we had one little boy that came to school really smelly everyday. I taught middle school, so kids were mean to him. Turns out, that the water had been turned off in his house because his parents couldn't afford to pay the bill. You just never know what someone else's situation may be.
4. Always give people the benefit of the doubt. Similar to #3, you never know why that jerk is cutting people off in traffic. He could be driving crazy because he's taking his wife to the hospital to have a baby. Probably not, but thinking this way makes you feel better, stresses you less, and keeps your temper in check. That slow cashier above? She could be new.
5. Trust others until they give you reason not to. This one is hard to do sometimes, but really worth it. Of course, if someone lies to you, cheats, etc., then it takes a lot to earn back that trust.
6. Listen more, talk less. It's OK to talk during a discussion, but don't overwhelm the conversation. Most people find good listeners to be better friends and friendlier people in general. An extra bonus to listening more--you learn more about life and about people from listening than talking.

Hope this helps! I don't know you personally, but I can assure you that being conscious of your faults is a great thing, and the first step towards change. Don't be discouraged if it doesn't happen overnight, as change is a time-consuming. Also, don't fear mistakes and backsliding. See these as learning opportunities, and you will be fine. Good luck to you!

Last edited by MamaDragon3; 03-12-2010 at 04:21 PM.. Reason: Changed wording.
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Old 03-12-2010, 04:27 PM   #22
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Default Re: I want to change myself.

View Post Originally Posted by MamaDragon3
First of all, I want to second the idea that religion is not what makes you a good person. I am not religious myself, but I AM a big believer in karma--the idea that what goes around comes around. If you are nice to people, you will have niceness returned to you. If you are mean to people, it will eventually bite you in the backside.

Some ideas for becoming a better person:
1. Do at least one nice thing for someone else daily. It's amazing how good it makes you feel--even when they don't know who did it, or didn't ask for it. When you do your good deed, don't look for compliments or praise yourself--that's not why you're doing it! If you are tempted to do nice things just to show off and prove yourself better than others, then go the anonymous route and do nice things for people who don't know you or do things for people so that they don't know who did it.
2. Compliment others. People tend to be quicker to judge and criticize than to praise and compliment. Even that really slow cashier that's taking forever and is irritating you has something good about her--compliment her earrings, her skin, etc. if not her service.
3. Try to put yourself in other's shoes. It is hard to realize that not everyone has your same situation, and there could be reasons other people do things that bug you. For instance, I used to be a public school teacher, and we had one little boy that came to school really smelly everyday. I taught middle school, so kids were mean to him. Turns out, that the water had been turned off in his house because his parents couldn't afford to pay the bill. You just never know what someone else's situation may be.
4. Always give people the benefit of the doubt. Similar to #3, you never know why that jerk is cutting people off in traffic. He could be driving crazy because he's taking his wife to the hospital to have a baby. Probably not, but thinking this way makes you feel better, stresses you less, and keeps your temper in check. That slow cashier above? She could be new.
5. Trust others until they give you reason not to. This one is hard to do sometimes, but really worth it. Of course, if someone lies to you, cheats, etc., then it takes a lot to earn back that trust.
6. Listen more, talk less. It's OK to talk during a discussion, but don't overwhelm the conversation. Most people find good listeners to be better friends and friendlier people in general. An extra bonus to listening more--you learn more about life and about people from listening than talking.

Hope this helps! I don't know you personally, but I can assure you that being conscious of your faults is a great thing, and the first step towards change. Don't be discouraged if it doesn't happen overnight, as change is a time-consuming. Also, don't fear mistakes and backsliding. See these as learning opportunities, and you will be fine. Good luck to you!
Thanks so much! This is a very, very helpful post. I'd compliment your earrings, but I don't know if you even have a pair on. (if you do, I'm sure they're pretty! )
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Old 03-12-2010, 04:32 PM   #23
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Default Re: I want to change myself.

Don't change yourself completely. If you think you're mean, then calm down. Maybe this is all because things are happening in your life that are making you sad and frustrated and confused. If that's not the case, maybe you just get angry easily or are very sensitive. Don't beat yourself up about it. It takes a while to change. Try being more open and polite. Respect your friends. Don't insult anybody. Complain less. Those are all the things I do, and I consider myself nice.
I bet you're already a very nice person, but don't think so. If you actually are mean, then you probably have a good reason. If you're just one of those typical bullies, it's okay. Like I said, don't beat yourself up about it. Maybe you're just upset with these people or something. There's a reason for everything.
Sorry if this doesn't make sense, but what I'm saying is that you're probably not as mean as you think you are.
Old 03-12-2010, 04:43 PM   #24
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Default Re: I want to change myself.

View Post Originally Posted by cutiebug343
No, no, don't change yourself. I can already tell from how kind and honest you are on here that you're a beautiful girl with a mind of your own. You're probably just being too hard on yourself, and that's the worst thing you can do to yourself. But if you insist, I would go with Kiyoshi's idea. =]
I completely agree
If this helps, I think you're already a wonderful person b1uski!
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Old 03-13-2010, 10:58 PM   #25
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Default Re: I want to change myself.

Here are 5 ways
1. Look for the good in people
2. Think about how situations effect the other person
3. Smile and laugh with people you don't like
4. Befriend people that are often made fun of and disliked (trust me you will often find them to be AWESOME)
5.Take a deep breath and spill out all your anger on the pages of your diary till there is none left
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Old 03-13-2010, 11:23 PM   #26
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Default Re: I want to change myself.

You? Mean?
Pshh, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!
I think you're a great person already.

I agree for the most part with what some of the others have said, I just wanted to add something... NEVER EVER force yourself to be super nice and say that you agree with someone or like something that you really don't just to seem nice. Don't be afraid to say what you really think and why you think that. (:
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Old 03-16-2010, 03:24 PM   #27
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Default Re: I want to change myself.

View Post Originally Posted by Fairmaidenbmt
5.Take a deep breath and spill out all your anger on the pages of your diary till there is none left
(thanks so much once again, everyone! This is really helping me. )

That really helped. I actually just typed it down on my computer... before, I was all twitchy and about to scream, but now I'm nice and calm now...
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Old 03-16-2010, 06:53 PM   #28
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Default Re: I want to change myself.

Wow, kudos to you! It takes a really good person to KNOW that they have a problem, and to want to change it!
Just try doing little things that are nice. Like helping someone with a door!
Watch what you say. Before it comes out of your mouth, think about if you would want someone to say it to you!
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Old 03-16-2010, 08:22 PM   #29
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Default Re: I want to change myself.

i never thought you were mean before. ha.

but, i mean just try to think of like, other people, think about how they feel & how they react to certain situations. try not to judge, be the bigger person, & give compliments (when you actually like what they have.) that's what i do!
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Old 03-16-2010, 08:53 PM   #30
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Default Re: I want to change myself.

View Post Originally Posted by Desty
The only thing I know of that can really create inner change and beauty is probably not the answer you want to hear...But, if you want to know what I truely believe, it's this,...Jesus.
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old is gone, the new has come."
That may sound 'preachy', but I have found it's the only thing that really is true.
yeah, that sums up what I was gonna say xP
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