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Old 10-18-2009, 06:31 PM   #1
Call me Kay-Tizzle
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Default I need some advice about my friend...

Ok, so my best friend told me that she told my crush i liked even though i trusted her not to. And now all my feelings are all mixed up and i just dont know what to do! I don't want her mad at me and i dont want to be mad at her but i kinda am mad at her but i dont want to lose her as a friend but then again, i dont think i can trust her anymore! Help!
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Old 10-18-2009, 06:37 PM   #2
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Default Re: I need some advice about my friend...

if you want her to be your friend why don't you talk to her about it?
ask her not to do it again.
if she does it again, remind her that you talked about it and if it seems like she doesn't really care about it then maybe it's time to find new friends :l
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Old 10-18-2009, 06:41 PM   #3
Call me Kay-Tizzle
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Default Re: I need some advice about my friend...

well, i've been friends with her for a long time, and this is the second time she's done this to me, and i can feel our friendship starting to slip away. I am about to cry right now.
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Old 10-18-2009, 06:44 PM   #4
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Default Re: I need some advice about my friend...

like fireflies said, talk to her about it, im sure she has a good reason why. maybe she thought you have a chance with him. and dont cry, just stay strong till you can get this figured out.
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Old 10-18-2009, 06:46 PM   #5
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Default Re: I need some advice about my friend...

You need to have a calm, but firm talk with her. Tell her that you feel upset that she did something that you asked her not to do.

Then, you need to have a talk with your crush. This is intimidating, I know, but you need to talk to him about what your friend told him. First take a deep breath, and let it out calmly. You'll be amazed at how calm you'll be. First, ask him, "Hey, did __ tell you something about me not too long ago?" If he says yes, than say, "Did she say that I liked you?" He'll say if she did or not. If he says yes, take another deep breath and say, "Well, it's kinda true. She wasn't supposed to tell you that, but now that you know, I thought that I should just come out about it now".
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Old 10-18-2009, 06:57 PM   #6
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Default Re: I need some advice about my friend...

yeah talking is a good idea and what we would all give as advice, but in real life if thi was me, i would just wait it out, and see how things go. I dont tell anyone crushes or anything anymore becuase this has happened to me on several occasions. Like if i wanted that person to know, i would have told them myself. Good Luck with all of this. Eat some ice cream, play some board games and think things through.
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Old 10-18-2009, 07:06 PM   #7
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Default Re: I need some advice about my friend...

Thanks everyone for trying to help, but i think i just lost both of my best friends for good.
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Old 10-18-2009, 07:29 PM   #8
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Default Re: I need some advice about my friend...

Yes, you should talk with her. She might have been trying to help you out too! Maybe she was trying to get you two together Don't drop a friendship because of a boy though
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Old 10-18-2009, 07:32 PM   #9
Call me Kay-Tizzle
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Default Re: I need some advice about my friend...

Its not the boy, its the fact that she told him even when i trusted her not to. And this whole thing isn't even her fault. Its mine, I was the one who was stupid enough to trust her again.
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Old 10-18-2009, 08:27 PM   #10
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Default Re: I need some advice about my friend...

Its really upsetting when you discover that your very special friend can slip up and make a mistake that affects your trust. The fact is no one is perfect and sometimes friends do the craziest things on impulse even when they know it might hurt or embarrass us. I think this is something you both can talk about. Find out why she did this. Listen to her side of things and let her know how it made you feel. Just know that friends make mistakes. Sometimes the best secrets to be kept are the ones we just aren't tempted to share with even our very best of friends. This kind of thing happens a lot with young people..its a rough thing to go through. If this is not the first time she has not kept a secret then this particular friend is one that you might want to just be careful what you say to in the future. Some people will admit, "I can't keep a secret, I am going to tell it." Sometimes they can be fun friends, but just not those we share our confident information with. I have friends like that. I have friends I can talk to about some things and others I can not. Each friend is different. It might be worth some effort to think about why she has done this...that is what I am curious about. There is a payoff for doing something like this..so what do you think it is? Sometimes knowing that helps. We all have a payoff for what we do...sometimes jealousy can be an issue especially if the person you like is someone she likes too..or just the fact that you like someone might make a friend feel funny. Remember there are all sorts of feelings going on with this sort of thing. I am not saying she is jealous..but sometimes jealous can get the best of us at times and cause this sort of thing...I am not sure what the motive is...I am sorry you have had this happen. It must have really hurt your feelings and you must have felt quite betrayed.

It might take you some time to sort out your feelings. The loss you feel right now may be fixed before you know it. All may not be lost...its just rough now because its fresh and new and a big mess.

Last edited by Tula; 10-18-2009 at 08:39 PM..
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