Rare times in local KT. Place your mouse over times and items for time conversions and info.
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ok this is weird but ok jessica simpson and her friends are hiding from the police they decide to hde in a farm one hides in a chicken coop one hides in a cow pasture and jessica hides in a potato field when the police look in the chicken coop the friend says buck buck buck the police figure its just a chicken and move on when they look in the cow pasture the friend says moo moo moo the cops figure it is just a cow and move on when they get to the potato field jessica says potato potato potato they figure its just a potato lol
A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding unassisted without prior experience or lessons. She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion.
It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. Out of shear terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness or even death when Frank, the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.
Oh- My username is garrett12121212
k, i got two more jokes, these are dumb blonde jokes...
two blondes are taking a hike in the woods. then one of them says "look, some tracks, i wonder what animal made them." and so when there bent over examinng them, they get run over by a train! LOL!!! : )
two blondes are sitting on the couch watching the 6:00 news. in the news they are showing a video of a guy jumping of the bridge. then one blonde says, "on the 4:00 news the same guy jumped of the bridge, i didnt think he would be stupid enough to do it again!" LOL!!! : )
ohhh wait i have another one- a brunette, a black haired and a blonde are running a mile race. the brunette gets to the quarter mile sign, decides shes too tired to finish the race and turns around. then the black haired one gets to the 1/3 mile sign, decides she is too tired to continue and turns around. then the blonde gets to the 3/4 mile sign decides shes too tired to finish the race and turns around. LOL!!! : )
note- im not insulting blondes (im a blonde too) another note- sorry if i cant enter twice, (or 3 or four times,) use my first entery if i can only enter once.
Hmmm I have really good ones... now which one... ok I will do a few
There was this middle aged, married couple riding on a deserted highway at 40 mph. The husband says,"Honey, I want a divorce," The wife looks straight ahead, with a blank expression. "I get the house," the speed gently rises to 50 mph "and all the money" ...speed get to 60 mph "The cars" 80 mph....."the electronics" the speed gets to 120 mph, the wife with the blank expression still on her face. "Hey don't you want anything?" says the husband. She replises through clenched teeth, "I have got all I need....." They where now going 150 mph headed for a brick wall. he says, "What?"
A duck walks into a bar and askes, "Do you have any crackers?"
the bartender says, "Sorry no."
The next day the duck comes back, "Do you have any crackers?"
The bartender says, "I told you, NO."
The next day the duck comes, "Do you have any crackers?"
The bartender says, "OK listen duck I have no crackers!!!!"
The next day the duck comes back again, "Do you have any crackers?"
The bartender, "OK duck next time you ask me that I will nail your beak to the wall!"
The next day the duck comes, and askes, "Do you have any nails?"
The bartender says, "No..."
Duck: "Do you have any crackers?"
(please don't take this joke personally)
A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are trying to work for the FBI. The FBI wanted to know if they where willing enough to kill thier husbands so they had the husbands in a room and they gave them guns filled with blanks (not real bullets and they didn't know) and told them to go in a nd kill thier husbands. The brunette goes in comes out crying and says, "I couldn't do it" and she failed. Same with the redhead. The blonde goes in and the FBI hears the blank be shot be fierd they say, "Great she's going to pass!" then they hear banging noises and screaming. When the blonde comes out she says, "The gun didn't work, so I kilt him with the chair instead."
Teacher: Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student: A cow and a bull is grazing in the field.
Student: Ladies first.
Boy: What is the big chimney say to the little chimney?
Girl: You're too young to smoke.
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Student: A teacher
This is crime story. Five friends lived in a room, Namely MAD, BRAIN, FOOL, NOBODY, SOMEBODY.
One day SOMEBODY killed NOBODY. At that time BRAIN was in bathroom, MAD called police.
MAD: Is it police station???
Police: Yes, what is the matter??
MAD: SOMEBODY killed NOBODY.
Police: Are you mad?
MAD: Yes, I"m MAD.
Police: Don`t you have BRAIN.
MAD: BRAIN is in bathroom....
Police: you FOOL...
MAD: No, FOOL is reading this joke...
Why did the Dinosaur feel rain?
Becasue it was raining!
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