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Old 06-15-2008, 03:22 PM   #41
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Default Re: WI's Next Top WRITER!! ~Season 1~

I will start right away
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Old 06-15-2008, 04:59 PM   #42
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Default Re: WI's Next Top WRITER!! ~Season 1~

View Post Originally Posted by GymnastGirl724
P.S. KittyKrazy293, where did you get your avvie? I've seen a lot of them and really want one!
My best friend (Candi_Bliss on here, my best friend in real life!) made it for me, although she is currently not making them because of the major requests she got. But, I make the almost exact same kind. If you want one, please PM me!!
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Old 06-15-2008, 06:38 PM   #43
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Default Re: WI's Next Top WRITER!! ~Season 1~

Alright, I'm looking forward to more entries!
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Old 06-16-2008, 12:48 PM   #44
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Default Re: WI's Next Top WRITER!! ~Season 1~

First day of Torture by violet77


I walked into the raggedy, old, weird smelling middle school with my new high heels torturing my feet. "How was your summer, Alexa?" My arch enemy from last year had managed to find me. Again. She was wearing the most expensive, new, just-in Mudd jeans from her favorite, high end store. Barney's. Just because her cousin from New York sends her the coolest things, she has to wear them like she's the queen of the world. She was also flaunting a silk, hot pink blouse barely covering her midruf. Her smooth just-conditioned black hair swayed from the breeze and all the boys within 3 feet of her drooled at one glance. I almost swore I saw her eyes green with envy when she looked down at my chicken legs. "It was okay.'' I answered back. "Whatev." She snapped back with a hint of jealousy. She walked away with her devilish possy. They started to giggle when they looked back at me, my hair a mess and my lipstick smeared. It was the perfect recipe. One evil girl plus one innocent girl equals trouble.
I was walking to my locker when I felt grinding hands on my shoulders. My shoulders rose up and I let out a squeal." Stopppp!!!" I shouted and squirmed furiously. I twisted around and reconized a familar face. It was my best friend, Alicia. "Hey cool cat!!" Alicia cheered. "What's up super trooper?" I cheered back. Our nicknames we made for each other echoed in my mind. "Who's the priss that just walked in?? Oh wait, it was Megan. I was fooled by her massive makeup explosion." Alica said. She always made me laugh. "I was the first victim of her." I said. "Oh, forget about it. I'll take care of her. You'll see." And with a wink and a nod Alicia was off to a class.
20 minutes later, I was on my way to my first class of the day, PE. I found my new locker and started to pile up my things when I remebered I needed my gym shoes. I fumbled around in my bookbag when I felt a hard, plastic, object. I managed to pull out my shoes in time for the bell. I placed my high heels (which were better than Megan's-- Ha Ha!!) in the last empty space of my locker.
I walked towards our school gym and used all of my strength to push the door open. A circle of four or five girls crowded around one girl was forming by the bleachers. It was obvious. It was probably Megan, showing off her million-dollar ring her filthy rich daddy bought her. I walked over to the crowd of girls. My prediction was correct. It was Megan only she had both of her shoes off and she was showing off her pedicure that she got recently in Malibu. I wondered away and sat on a nearby bleacher by myself.
Suddenly, The same possy of girls I had seen earlier was headed this way. Except Megan was the head of the pack this time. "Get off that bench, Alexa." She said in a wicked and powerful tone. I just sat there. "No." I anwered back. Her face was astonished. "Get up off the bench." She said with a more powerful and wicked tone followed with many yeahs and oohs. "No." I said again, with a more weaker tone than before. "Fine. Then I will tell a secret about you then." She said. "I'm not scared." I said, making my fear invisble. "Well, in second grade, Ms. Robbs said to piont to America on the map and Alexa pionted to Austria!!" I swore she laughed so hard I saw her eyeballs come out of her head. My face immediately started to turn beet red and my eyes started to well up with tears.
I ran for the gym door and bolted it open. I headed for my locker and messed with the lock until it swung open. An empty spot remained where my high-heeled shoes once were. I couldn't believe it...how could she do something such as that? I put my hand in my locker to feel where my shoes were. All I felt was nothing. I ran back to the gym and met Megan's eyes. "Give them back," I said in an angry tone. "I didn't take them," she said, like she didn't have any possible thing to do with them.
I knew that Alicia was on her way to Physic's class. I once again ran out of the gym and headed down the hallway to room 17, Physics. The bell had just rung. I was just in time to meet Alicia's eyes. "Help me," I said. I quickly grabbed her arm before she could react. I walked swiftly down the hallway to the gym class. "She took my shoes," I said and pointed a finger towards Megan. Alicia got out of my grip and walked quickly toward Megan. I stayed in the same spot and watched them talk. I saw one mad look from Alicia's face and Alicia balled up her fist and hit Megan right smack in the nose. Megan started to recoil and fell into one of the innocent bystanders. That's when I spotted a glint from one of the girls behind her. I walked over past Alicia and Megan and the circle of girls forming around them. I went behind the girl I saw the glint coming from and reached behind her back.
Sure enough, I felt my strappy high heeled shoes and the rough sequins on the heel of them. It was Megan's evil scheme to mess with my nerves and I knew that Alicia would be there to deal with it. Problem solved.

The End

Last edited by violet77; 06-20-2008 at 01:46 PM..
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Old 06-17-2008, 06:31 PM   #45
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Default Re: WI's Next Top WRITER!! ~Season 1~

Kay. It's Tuesday. Who's out?
Old 06-17-2008, 06:32 PM   #46
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Default Re: WI's Next Top WRITER!! ~Season 1~

I thought the deadline was prolonged to tomorrow...
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Old 06-17-2008, 07:07 PM   #47
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Default Re: WI's Next Top WRITER!! ~Season 1~

It was a blistering July day when my mom gave us the news. "Hey, Abby, Ty, Dylan? Could you come here for a minute?" my mom called to us. Slowly, me and my brothers came to our mom. "We're going to California!" my mom shouted. Me and my brothers screamed in joy. "See, by 'we', we mean 'your father and I'." my mom explained. "So where will we be staying?" I asked, afraid of the possible answers. "With your grandma Olive." my mom said. "Oh, no, mom!" I shouted in protest. I couldn't believe it. How could she do such a thing? She knew we hated Gran'ma Olive's house. But even with all the protesting, we still had to go to gran'ma Olive's.
*********************************************************************
When we arrived in Montana, I grimaced. It was exactly like I'd pictured it. Boring. Her house was a little cottage with no tv, no radio, no nothin'. "Well who do we have here?" Gran'ma said in her scratchy, rapsy voice. "Your grandkids, Abby, Tyler, and Dylan." my mom said before rushing out to the car and speeding out of this dump. We plopped on the couch, bored out of our minds. "So, what can we do out here?" Dylan asked, who's 13. I'm 11, and Tyler's 8. "Well, if your so bored, you can go milk the cows." Gran'ma said. "You don't buy milk?" I asked. "Nope. I believe in a natural life. Well, a somewhat natural life. I grow and make my own food, don't own one of them fancy movin' picture boxes (a tv), and try to live of the land. " Gran'ma said. "Hey gran'ma, where's your bathroom? I've been holding this since we left from Florida." Tyler said. "Don't have one." Gran'ma said. "Huh?" We all said in unison. "Like I said, I try to use the land much as possible. Don't own a privy (outhouse)." Gran'ma said. "So where you go to the bathroom?" I asked slowly. "There's a big forest out in the backyard." Gran'ma said. "Okay... but where do you go to the bathroom?" Dylan said. "I just told you. I go out in the forest." Gran'ma said. I shuddered. Soon the days past and we went home and this miserable nightmare was over.

THE END.
Old 06-17-2008, 07:26 PM   #48
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Default Re: WI's Next Top WRITER!! ~Season 1~

Okay, you guys, round 1 judging will be up soon. (I decided to change it to Tuesday, anyone else who entered (geros9 for example) entered but never turned in is excused.
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Old 06-17-2008, 08:04 PM   #49
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Default Re: WI's Next Top WRITER!! ~Season 1~

Thanks! I have been really busy with my new schedule, but I will adjust
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Old 06-17-2008, 08:13 PM   #50
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Arrow Re: WI's Next Top WRITER!! ~Season 1~

turtle606-
Darcy: You had a great story, but it lacked emotion.
:easter: Lily: You could have used better adjectives for emotions, I know you're more capable than that.
Petunia: I have to completely agree with Darcy & Lily. The emotions were good, but you could have done better with them.
*Judges final score for turtle606: 8.5*


Cattails190-
Darcy: You had the right idea, but didn't persue well. It was a good story idea, but...
:easter:Lily: What Darcy is trying to say is that it was a good story but felt hollow. You could have done better with emotions.
Petunia: I agree, and a title wouldn't hurt. Take your time and really put effort.
*Judges final score for Cattails190: 7*


tecytoc:
Darcy: I really loved your story, it was very creative. But, I would have used the word "well" less in the beginning of each day.
:easter:Lily: It was really good, but watch the grammar and punctuation.

Petunia: I really enjoyed your story. Watch for spelling too.
*Judges
final score for tecytoc: 8.5*


Rukia:
ALL: We all agreed that you had a perfect story, accept, you could have went longer with it.
*Judges final score for rukia: 8*


DragonStar:

ALL: Again, LENGTH!!! And the fact that it could have gone longer made the ending okward.
*Judges final score for DragonStar: 7*


Pearlz:
Darcy: WOW! I loved it! It was.... great!
:easter:
Lily:I really enjoyed it, but the end could have been a smidge better.
Petunia: Loved it!
*Judges final score for Pearlz: 10!!*


Violet:
Darcy: As I was redaing it, I kept thinking the same thing....... This is a great story!
:easter:Lily: That was a great story, keep up the good work!
Petunia: It was wonderful, but watch the grammar & spelling.
*Judges final score for Violet: 10!!*


Gymnast Girl:
Darcy: This story had me going in the beginning, but it wasn't long enough.
:easter:Lily: Gymnast, I really was left wanting more. LONGER!! You could have done so much with it...
Petunia: I know you could have done SO much better, you rushed the end.
*Judges final score for Gymnastgirl: 7*



Okay, so here's the problem..... we have a 3 way tie for the lowest score of 7 between Gymnast girl & Cattails190, & dragonstar. I hate to see either of you go, but......


















Gymnastgirl......

































You are


























SAFE!


















Cattails....


























You are





























Safe!










Which means that Dragonstar leaves us tonight. I wish I could keep all of yall, but somebody had to go. (I drew out of a hat). I also noticed that grammar, spelling, punctuation, spelling, emotions, and length were a common denominator between a lot of you. This up coming round is going to require that you be careful about those things.

Round 2:
Please write a story using the following line: I looked at him, and he looked at me. Then, just as I always pictured it, he kissed me. It felt just like I imagined.
This will require emotion big time. As for mechanics, that is all basic and required in all rounds, and length.

THIS ASSIGNMENT IS DUE BY SATURDAY @ 10:00 AM KT.

~TexasGirl~




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