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Old 07-06-2008, 12:19 PM   #261
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Default Re: WI's Next Top WRITER!! ~Season 1~

Really? I didn't know that. I hope you have a great birthday. Mine is November. I'm a scorpio. What are you?
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Old 07-06-2008, 12:23 PM   #262
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Default Re: WI's Next Top WRITER!! ~Season 1~

View Post Originally Posted by TexasGirl8
Really? I didn't know that. I hope you have a great birthday. Mine is November. I'm a scorpio. What are you?
Cancer. I'm just getting together with my friends to see a movie and have lunch... great all the same.
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Old 07-06-2008, 12:24 PM   #263
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Default Re: WI's Next Top WRITER!! ~Season 1~

Cool! Scorpios are supposed to get along well with the other water signs. That's what I normally do on my birthday! We go see a movie.
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Old 07-06-2008, 12:28 PM   #264
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Default Re: WI's Next Top WRITER!! ~Season 1~

Ah. Yeah, my friend just had a party where we went to the movies this year. My other friend got him a Webkinz gorilla right before it retired... he doesn't even play... I think its name's Slippers. I dunno why...
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Old 07-06-2008, 12:42 PM   #265
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Default Re: WI's Next Top WRITER!! ~Season 1~

Hmm, nice. After I finish the section of my mystery that I'm working on, I'll post what I have.

---------- TexasGirl8 added 8 Minutes and 29 Seconds later ----------

Here it is:



No title


It was a beautiful July morning. Sunlight poured through my window, and the melody created by a symphony of birds and seagulls filled the air. I sighed happily. I arose from bed. I stretched my arms and opened my drawer. Just then, my door peeped open. "Ruby?" I recognized the voice- my older sister Gretta. "Come in, Gretta." I said, sitting down at my vanity. She sat on my bed. "Ruby?" She asked. "Yes, Gretta?" "Ruby, I need to talk to you." She said, nervously. "What is it, Gretta?" I turned around to face her. Her glossy brown hair was pulled in a half ponytail with a red bow. Her green eyes glistened. "Ruby, well, I talked to mom last night, and well, she uh-" I cut her off. "She what?" I asked. Whatever it was was either really bad or really good. "She's pregnant." She said. I was a little unsure what to think. I was the youngest, at 11, and Gretta was 13. Mom never showed any interest in having another child. "She has been for 6 months. She never told us, because of well, Aunt Priscilla." My Aunt Priscilla was my favorite aunt. She died about 6 months ago from a heart attack. I never liked it when we talked about her, it made me sad. I shook off the sadness. "She was afraid it would be too much for us to handle. It's a girl. She's naming it Melody." I remained silent for a moment, then spoke. "Gretta, this explains everything! Why she hired the maid- and why she looks fat, and..." I trailed off. "Well, I'd better get dressed." Gretta said, walking out the room. I brushed out my short golden hair. I put on a yellow sun dress and a yellow bow. I glossed my lips and slipped on my yellow flip flops. then, I walked down stairs.
~ ~ ~

My mother sat on the couch. She was eating ice cream out of the bucket, dressed in a brown shirt that had small white polka dots on it, and cuffed jeans. She looked at me. I looked at her. She opened her mouth to say something, but stopped as I released a smile. "I'll be out on the beach." I said, making a beeline for the back door. We live in a large beach house on the beach. It's a pale green, with white trim & a white door. We have sand in the front yard, and beach in the back. I loved watching the waves crash onto shore. I walked out back and paced on the beach, wetting my feet in the water. I began to wonder what was taking Gretta so long. "I'm coming, Ruby!" Shouted Gretta. She always seemed to know what I was thinking. She was wearing my exact outfit, accept hers was red. We walked along the shore, picking up sea glass and shells as we walked. "Look!" I shouted. A little yellow fish swam around in the water. We hardly ever saw the fish, they stayed where it was deep. "Wow. Sure is bright yellow, isn't he?" Gretta asked as it swam away. We continued to walk. I was walking into the water a bit, hoping for better shells. The water was up to my knees. Just then, I saw something bobbing in the water. "What's that?" I asked, wading toward it. It was a glass bottle. I picked it up and showed Gretta. "I wonder what's inside," She said, gazing at it blankly.
~ ~ ~

"It's no use," Violet complained. Violet was our neighbor, and my best friend. Even though she was my best friend, she could be quite whiny sometimes. Gretta pulled harder. We were trying to open the bottle. Mother had a doctor's appointment, and we were to stay at home with Anne our housekeeper. "Try taking a knife and sticking it inbetween the cork top and glass, to break the seal." Anne suggested, dusting of the book shelf. Violet poked the knife in. "You do it, Ruby." She said, stepping away from the bottle. It worked. Gretta glanced over at the clock. "Oh no! I have to go meet Randy for a soda! Bye!" She said running out the door. Then, Violet did the same. "I've got to go baby sit the Martin children in 20 minutes, and I haven't put together my bag. Do you want to help?" She asked. "No, I'll stay here." I said, trying to contain my excitement. I popped of the cap and carried the bottle to my room. I dumped out it's contents.
~ ~ ~

There was a yellowed piece of paper rolled up, and a small envelope. I decided to read the note first. It was some sort of code:

Pull where the seagulls dwell,
Dig where the palms multiply,
Enter in the exit,
Look upon them,
And you will find it.


I scowled with confusion. I shrugged and opened the little envelope. There was another paper.

Go in, even though you're scared.
Find the crown and return it.


It made no sense. But there was something about it, that made me want to try and figure it out. I thought for a moment. "Pull where the seagulls dwell." Seagulls.... they are always at the Cabana! That must be it! The Cabana was a little outdoor resteraunt on the cost a few blocks down. "Anne! I'm going to the Cabana! Tell mom I'll be back!"
I grabbed my bag and ran out the door.
~ ~ ~


I walked inside, where you order. Lucky for me, Andy was working the register. He knew me quite well. "Hi Andy!" I said, noticing the resturaunt was kinda dead. "Where is everyone?" I asked, turning my head to look around. "Oh Ruby! Thank god you're here! I've been so scared...." He said. "What's going on, Andy?" I asked, puzzled. "Didn't you hear? Somebody broke in last night and stole all the money! And nobody accept officer Rob is aloud around back! I'm scared he's going to come back. I wouldn't be scared, but everybody split when they heard. He's dangerous." Andy replied. He shivered. I rolled my eyes. "Andy, there's a cop around back and you're scared? Plus, don't worry, I have my bag." I said, trying to calm him. He gave a sigh of relief. "Good, but Rob is on break. I'm alone. What brings you here anyways?" He asked. I didn't know how to answer. Should I tell him? Or not? I had to think fast. It would be nice to have someone to work with especially now that there was the break in. Then I'd have connections. I hesitated. "Well, you see, I found this bottle, and..." I told him everything. "Wow. Why aren't Gretta and Violet with you?" He asked. "They were busy. I figured I could do one day of sleuthing alone." He nodded. "Well, since Rob is on break, we can go around back. I'll just tell him you came and wanted a smoothie. He opened the door and sat on the folding chair Rob had brought. I looked at the floor. Foot prints. They were brown, and muddy. They looked like the bottoms of Rain boots. I took a picture with my camera. Where was I supposed to pull? There had to be some way to mark what I was to pull. I glanced at the wall. A crown was stamped in dark blue ink on the wooden wall. I took a picture, then I pulled. One of the boards came loose, revealing a small box. I quickly stuffed it into my bag and replaced the board. I stood up. "I don't see much of anything." I said, and left.
~ ~ ~

I broke into a run, dashing for home. When I got there, Violet sat on the porch, and she was dressed different now: She wore a violet colored bathing suit top with a blue skirt, and had a hawaiin flower in her red hair. Gretta, too, was wearing something different: a red bathing suit top with a lime green skirt. "Hey! Where have you been? Anne left early for a date with Richard, and mom just got home. he's freaking out." Gretta said, standing up. "I'll explain in my bedroom." I said. I burst in the door. "Ruby! Oh thank god! Where were you?" Mom asked hugging me. "Oh, I just stopped at the Cabana for a smoothie." I said. I motioned for Violet and Gretta to come in my room. "So what's with the change of clothes?" I asked. "These are our new sleuthing outfits. We bought them at the Nan's. Yours is in my bag." {Nan's was our favorite clothing store} Violet said, opening the bag and handing me a peach colored bathing suit, a walkie talkie, and an off white skirt. "Thanks." I said, going into the closet to change. I came back out. "Well, I don't know about you, Violet, but I'm dying to hear what Ruby was up to!" Gretta said eagerly. "Well, I opened the bottle," I said, handing it to Gretta. Gretta read the messages out loud. "Why, this makes no sense!" Gretta said, with a puzzled expression. "So that's why you went to the Cabana; pull where the seagulls dwell! Then what?" Asked Violet. "Then, I got there, and it was deader than a grave yard! Turns out someone broke in last night, and nobody had stopped by. Officer Rob, who was standing guard, was on his break, and Andy was terrified. I investigated in the back, where the robber stole the cash. I took a picture of the muddy foot prints," I said, handing the camera to Violet, who looked at it, quietly speaking to Gretta, then passing the camera to her. "And then looked for somewhere to pull. I noticed a panel on the wooden wall was stamped with a blue crown, so I pulled that panel. And beneath it was this." I said, pulling out the small box. "Well, open it!" Gretta said. I opened it. Inside was a piece of the same yellowed paper that read '12 o'clock pm' "Maybe, it has something to do with the next step," Violet suggested, picking up the first note. "Dig where the palms multiply......." She mumbled. "That's it!" I exclaimed. "We're supposed to dig where the shadow of the palms cast at noon!" "Gee, I think you're right, Ruby. It's already 3 in the afternoon, so we'll have to wait until tomarrow." Said Gretta, sadly. "Hey, here's an idea," Said Violet. "Why don't we go down to Al's Shoe emporium and see if we can match the print to the shoe?" "That's a great idea, Violet, but what if they got their shoes at Nan's or somewhere else?" Ruby sighed. "No, they wouldn't have. Al's is the only place who carries rain boots, because they are never stylish!" Gretta exclaimed. Violet & Gretta leaped to their feet. "Not so fast," I protested. "What about our bags?" Every time we went sleuthing, we always had to make sure our bags had everything in them. They sat back down. "Flashlight, batteries, finger print kit, note book, 4 pens, velvet clue pouch?" I listed several of the items. They both nodded. I opened my mouth to say the next list, when Gretta interupted. "Excuse me Ruby, but maybe we should split the clues between us, in case." "Good thinking, I replied, handing her the photo of the foot prints, Violet the box, and I kept the bottle.
I continued. After we had everything, we left the house.

~ ~ ~

At Al's, a woman, who looked to be about 30, was sitting at the cash register, talking on her phone. "I've never seen her around town." I whispered to Violet and Gretta. "Not me either, Ruby." Violet whispered back. Gretta shook her head. "Okay, I'll keep an eye on Miss phone and Violet, you jot down notes of anything else you observe, and Gretta, you find the shoes. Okay?" I ordered. I walked over to the heels isle, that was right by the register. "Mike, are you sure you took your boots off?" She whispered into the phone. "You are so stupid! First the bottle, and now you are marking your tracks so we can get caught?" She said, a bit louder. I jotted down everything she said. "Whatever." She hung up. She had to be linked to the crime! Maybe if I went up to the counter, I could see her name tag. I walked up. "Hi, could you tell me where the running shoes would be?" I asked. "Isle 7, to your right." She said. I got a glimpse of her tag. Betty.
~ ~ ~

Meanwhile, Gretta had found the boots. She got a pair in her size and bought them, then we left to discuss the shoe store's events. "Spill!" Violet exclaimed. "When we get home," I whispered. "Ya never know who's listening."


© TexasGirl8

Last edited by TexasGirl8; 07-07-2008 at 12:37 PM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
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Old 07-07-2008, 11:07 AM   #266
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Default Re: WI's Next Top WRITER!! ~Season 1~

I am so nervous! I realized there is a 50/50 chance I am going to be eliminated! With cattails as my opponent, that makes it a 70% chance I am going to be eliminated!! The suspense is killing me!

How's it going Cattails?
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Old 07-07-2008, 11:14 AM   #267
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Default Re: WI's Next Top WRITER!! ~Season 1~

Aww, gosh, take a chill pill! Imagine how I feel.... I mean, who said t had to be you or cattails? If I feel that one of the others would have been eliminated anyways, I would do so. But this will be the hardest desicsion I will make in this contest.

---------- TexasGirl8 added 4 Minutes and 19 Seconds later ----------

This time, I am counting them both as entered, and totaling up all their scores and dividing it by ten, to see who out of all goes. I wish I would have told them, but I didn't think of it until now. I am waiting until they get back, that'll give cattails and them both a week to work on their stories. The finale..... you have no idea what you are in for.

Last edited by TexasGirl8; 07-07-2008 at 11:17 AM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
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Old 07-07-2008, 11:14 AM   #268
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Default Re: WI's Next Top WRITER!! ~Season 1~

View Post Originally Posted by Pearlz13
I am so nervous! I realized there is a 50/50 chance I am going to be eliminated! With cattails as my opponent, that makes it a 70% chance I am going to be eliminated!! The suspense is killing me!

How's it going Cattails?
...
Not good... I can't sit down and write, like, at all this week...
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Old 07-07-2008, 11:16 AM   #269
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Default Re: WI's Next Top WRITER!! ~Season 1~

Or maybe I'll wait until they get back, I don't know.

---------- TexasGirl8 added 1 Minutes and 3 Seconds later ----------

Well, to change the subject a bit, what do we think about my story? I added more.

Last edited by TexasGirl8; 07-07-2008 at 11:16 AM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
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Old 07-07-2008, 11:32 AM   #270
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Default Re: WI's Next Top WRITER!! ~Season 1~

I like it. There's a bit of missing capitalization in the sixth paragraph (counting the note as one), though, I noticed... Violet's name isn't capitalized, and another thing that I can't find now... Yes, I'm a grammar freak when it comes to capitalization in a story.
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