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Old 07-03-2008, 11:03 AM   #241
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Default Re: WI's Next Top WRITER!! ~Season 1~

Yep, simple, yet you can make it fantastic! Or, you could mix some of those. There are infinent possibilities.
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Old 07-04-2008, 02:21 PM   #242
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Default Re: WI's Next Top WRITER!! ~Season 1~

Wow. I have a lot more to type. I'm gonna get off now, and focus on it. I might finish by tomorrow..IDK!
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Old 07-04-2008, 03:22 PM   #243
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Default Re: WI's Next Top WRITER!! ~Season 1~

Coolio! I can'tw ait to see yours, pearlz!
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Old 07-05-2008, 09:35 AM   #244
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Default Re: WI's Next Top WRITER!! ~Season 1~

Don't get your hopes up! LOL this is hard! i thought it would be easier since I read so much! But it's hard to think of my OWN ideas. i read too much and tend to accidentally copy off of stories.

---------- Pearlz13 added 806 Minutes and 46 Seconds later ----------

I woke up really early this morning and typed the whole time! I'll finsih by today!

UPDATE - Hoopla! I am at the culrpit/villian part!! Then the confession, then the ned, then I am DONE! yaay!

UPDATE- I'm done!

The Black Heel

I slowly walked to the Coffee Cove, a sidewalk café just out of New York City. It was a chilly day. The cold air nipped at my nose. My body, on the other hand was warm under my new purple sweater, found at Kohl's. Cheap price, cute buy. That's what my friends, Cassie and Carla always say. I was supposed to meet them at the Coffee Cove today.
As the Coffee Cove came in view, so did my friends. My walked turned into a skip, as I ran to meet them.
"Hey, Carla!" I greeted. She smiled.
"What's up?" Carla said. Carla had always been kind of a punk girl. She liked skateboarding, and had long, layered black hair. She wasn't gothic, but, a skater girl. There was nothing wrong with that.
"Where's Cassie?" I questioned, noticing she wasn't there.
"She's just inside. Want to go see her?" Carla offered.
"Sure," I shrugged. Carla rose from her seat at the round table. She pushed in her chair and followed me into the Coffee Cove.
As we stepped inside the scent of coffee filled the air. It was mixed with the smell of caramel, and muffins. It made me tired, and extremely hungry.
I noticed Carla was right. Cassie was talking to the cashier. Probably ordering something. Carla and I walked to the side of the café. My attention flickered to the TV high in the corner across from us.
"Breaking News; a robber has just been reported in New York City. He was found at the Mocha Coffee Café this morning at 11:00. He is nicknamed 'The Coffee Criminal.' Please call the police if you are aware of where he may be. Don't get too close, he was known to be very violent. Thank you, now to Rosa with the weather,"
My attention flew back to Carla, who decided to watch the weather. As a girl detective, I was never worried about criminals nearby. In fact, that Coffee Criminal guy robbed the Mocha Coffee Café, just two blocks over. A normal teenage girl would probably freak out, but, of course, Cassie, Carla, and I were not normal. We were the girls well known around New York City. The detectives and the girls who are greeted by store, restaurant, and salon owners, when we walk by. Anyways, my body started to shiver, and I felt a case coming on.
Cassie was trotting over to our spot soon.
"Hey guys! Hi, Scarlet!" She gave me a light hug, due to both hands filled with a latte, and a Banana Nut Muffin. Mmmmm, I thought to myself.
"Hey, Scarlet, were you listening to the TV? With that Coffee Criminal Guy?" Carla questioned me, off topic.
"Yeah, only two blocks down! I wonder where he is now," I replied slowly, thinking as I spoke. Is a mystery approaching? I questioned myself.
"Well, let's go home," Cassie suggested. I nodded, and we all went our separate ways into the suburbs at night.

• • • •

The next morning I was woken up by the sound of a blaring TV. I immediately knew that was my early bird brother, Billy. I groaned and hopped out of bed. Slowly I crept down the stairs on my tip toes, hoping Billy couldn't hear. At the landing, I listened to the TV.
"Another robbery reported by The Coffee Criminal! The Coffee Cove has been hit. The Police ran to the scene but our robber had already escaped. If you own a coffee shop anywhere in New York, watch out. The Coffee Criminal may – ahem – WILL come by and take a visit – in your cash registers. He was reported to have robbed the Coffee Cove at 9:30 this morning. Be on the watch, New Yorkers, he is dangerous. Back to you, Priscilla," the reporter concluded. The Coffee Cove! Wow! We were just there! I thought in amusement.
I skipped down the stairs, this time not trying to be quiet.
"So, pretty freaky, huh?" I questioned Billy as he walked into the kitchen.
"What do you mean?" he replied.
"The Coffee Criminal. He just robbed the Coffee Cove, that's right down the street!"
"Oh, yeah, that's kind of scary, I guess." Billy tried to act tough.
"You're scared and you know it!" I accused. I could see it in his eyes. Fear. What a liar!
"No I'm not! You're just all jealous because a 12 year old is not even scared, and you, a 16 year old, is freaking out!" Billy yelled.
"That is far from the truth! I'm not scared! You are, Billy! I can see it in your eyes! Oh my god Billy, just admit it. It's not like I'm going to tell anyone!" I promised. Then I hesitated and put a finger up. "Wait, maybe I will tell, since you are being a brat, and since I owe you some embarrassment." I smiled a victory smile, and then retreated to the living room with Billy's bowl of Froot Loops.
I watched the news as I ate. As I thought, I called Cassie. We never had a chance to talk. I dialed her number and put the phone up to my ear.
"Hello?" Cassie answered.
"Hey," I replied, "Did you hear about the Coffee Criminal again?"
"What!? No, spill."
"Ok, you'll never guess where he broke in. The Coffee Cove! Isn't that freaky?" I said taking another spoonful of cereal.
"Yeah! Did you call Carla yet?"
"No, I figured she probably already knew. How about us three go down to the Cove, and look around?"
"Oh no, Scarlet. I know what you're thinking, but we should really focus on school, I mean it's only October!" Cassie complained.
"I know, but the Coffee Criminal will be out there forever if we don't step in! The Police will never get there in time! Come on, please?"
"Fine. You win. Call Carla while I get dressed." She hung up the phone, and so did I. I picked it back up and dialed Carla's number.
"Hey Scarlet!" Carla answered enthusiastically.
"Hey, I was thinking maybe we could head down to the Coffee Cove, you know, to see the crime scene, and maybe…" my voice trailed off. I felt like I could almost see Carla frown.
"Scarlet…school just started," she argued. I sighed and repeated what I had said to Cassie.
"Ugh. Fine, but ONLY for the good of New York. You didn't convince me at all, by the way," she snapped, then hung up.
I walked down to the end of my street. It was our meeting spot, no matter what. Carla was already there. I stepped next to her side and sat on a rock in the landscaping.
Cassie soon arrived behind us. Nobody said anything. Silence was controlling the air as we walked to the Coffee Cove. I opened my mouth to break the silence.
“Pretty exciting, huh?” I questioned my two best friends. This got them going.
“Yeah! I wonder who this guy is!” Cassie exclaimed.
“Yeah, they never gave a picture or details or anything on him,” Carla questioned.
“I agree, that’s weird.” I pitched in. The rest of the walk there was “I wonder if he’s cute!” “Yeah, maybe he’s Ashton Kutcher in disguise!” “But the guy is already rich, and he hates coffee,” “Oh, good point,” then they laugh again. I have such predictable friends!
We finally arrived at the Coffee Cove. Traffic around there was flowing fine. Yellow caution tape was stretched across the whole front of the shop. We cautiously walked across the street, over the tape, and into the Cove.
It was dark, and the wonderful scent of muffins, coffee, and caramel, had changed into a dusty, abandoned old house smell. Yuck!
“Girls, this is a crime scene. Please leave.” A tall officer said to us. I couldn’t see his face in the dark, so I figured he didn’t realize who we were.
“Actually, um, my name is Scarlet Emerald. These are my friends, Cassandra Day, and Carla Moonstone. We are detectives. I believe we know you, we just can’t see your face,” I explained, thinking that maybe I shouldn’t have, just in case.
“Oh, Officer Charlie here. Let me turn on the flashlight here,” he introduced himself. He turned on a flashlight, and then walked over to a box on floor. He picked up 3 extra flashlights and handed them to us.
“Thanks,” I smiled in response. He walked away and I turned to my friends.
“We’ll split up. Look around. Use your flashlights,” I ordered. They nodded and we went off. I walked over to where I knew the money would be hidden. I opened the door behind the counter and walked through. Coffee beans were spilled all over the floor. The back window was broken and shattered glass surrounded the floor around it. I looked at the glass, and I noticed some footprints. I bent down to lean in closer. The footprints were not footprints of a man’s shoe. They looked like footprints of a heel! I ran to the door to go tell the police. Then, I decided to keep this a secret. My friends and I could figure this out faster anyway. I took out my Cell phone. As I flipped it open, the door opened behind me.
“I’m sorry, but this room is off limits. Even to you, Ms. Scarlet,” an officer announced. I moaned. I was so close! If only I could sneak this picture.
“5 more minutes,” I promised.
“Fine, but only this once. Did you find anything?” He looked me in the eyes. It was hard to lie.
I looked down and whispered, “No, sir.” He grunted then walked out, slamming the door behind him. I turned around and flashed the light on one footprint. Then, I took the picture and searched around more. Nothing out of the ordinary showed up.
I slowly walked out into the front of the café.
“Sorry, we found nothing,” the girls announced to me. I quickly changed the subject, thinking that maybe police were listening.
Finally, we were out of the dark café. I launched right into my story, without any encouraging.
“Ok, so listen, I found footprints in the back! The weird thing is, look,” I showed them the picture on my phone.
“It looks like a heel!” Carla snorted.
“It is.” I rolled my eyes twice so she would get the message. “Anyways, I was thinking that maybe if we head to DSW Shoe Warehouse, we can match the heel with the heel in the picture.”
“How will that help us? So, we’ll know the Coffee Criminal’s style in shoes. Wow. Big clue!” Cassie pointed out. She always had a way to bring my confidence down.
“Well,” I stuttered, unable to think of a nice comeback, “You got any better ideas?” I snapped. Cassie glared at me. A smile spread across her face.
“Actually, yes,” she surprised me, “yes I do.” I raised my eyebrows. This wasn’t something that happened very often.
“I say we locate the nearest café in town, then spend our days there, in shifts. Then, when the Coffee Criminal attacks, we’ll catch him!” Her eyes gleamed. She was proud to have outsmarted me.
“Well, there is three things wrong with that,” I started. “One is that it is a her, not a him. Two, is that we can’t spend the rest of our week at the next coffee place we THINK, we don’t know, she’ll rob. Lastly, three, is that my idea is better!” I scoffed.
“No it is not! Carla!” Cassie screeched.
“I’m leaning more towards Cassie’s idea. Sorry, Scarlet. I just think it might work.”
“Fine then, you guys go to the Coffee place, and I’ll head to DSW.”
“Are you mad?” Cassie moped.
“No! I just think it would be best - instead of arguing - to go and do both ideas! Both of them sound like okay plans. It would be crazy to be mad.” I replied in a sharper tone than necessary.
“Ok, good! It sounds like a plan! Let’s go, Carla!” Cassie was all cheery now. We went our separate ways, and soon, I found myself at DSW, in the heel aisle.
I browsed through all the heels on display. A pair of bright green heels were so close, but the heel on them were too thick. The pattern was exact. I decided to look for that brand of heels. Guess…Guess….Guess… A half an hour later, I picked up a dark black pair of Guess High Heels. I flipped open my phone and tilted the heels. Bingo! I grabbed the shoebox that had my size, so no questions were asked on why I bought an 11 and a half when I am a size 8. After I paid for my shoes I thought on who might have black Guess high heels. No one came to mind. Most people in New York wore sneakers at this time of year.
The next few days while Cassie and Carla waited at the Coffee Cabana I sat on my bedroom balcony people watching. My balcony looked out over the Cairo Circle. Around there was the Coffee Cabana, the Sunglass Hut, and many other odds and ends stores. Just then, I saw a woman with a hat on, a sweater, and sweatpants, with black high heels. She was walking out of the Sunglass Hut with a bag. Black Sunglasses were soon out of the bag and in her hands. She placed them on her face and walked towards the Coffee Cabana. I leaped up from my plastic chair.
“Oh no!” I gasped, breathless, running down the stairs and out the back door. I j-walked across Cairo Circle to the other side. The girl was at the door. I grabbed her arm.
“Don’t,” I whispered, “You’ve ruined the City enough already. I’m reporting you to the police, now.” I held her arm tightly, and reached for my phone.
“What are you talking about?” the woman said in a high-pitched voice. She pulled her glasses down and whispered, “The news reporters are still looking for me. I’m hiding. I don’t want to talk them about the break-in! Trust me, Scarlet. Let me go inside somewhere safe.” Miss Brazier had begged. She was the owner of the Mocha Coffee Cafe. I released her arm.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered to her. “I thought that, you know, you were the Coffee Criminal for a second.
Embarrassed, I walked away from the scene I started to cause. I crept back up to my balcony, and started to think.
Maybe my footprints were an owner’s. That was weird that they were right by the broken window, though. I made a decision to go to the one place left I could get clues from. The Mocha Coffee Café.
When I arrived, nobody was there, not even police. That was good sign, but also a bad sign. The good thing was they weren’t thee to hover over me every second. The bad sign was they had probably finished here, and taken all good clues with them. Those reasons still didn’t stop me. I walked right in the front door. I reached into my knapsack and pulled out a flashlight. Then I walked around the tables. The chairs were all laid out over the floor. I knew when I was done here I would have to clean up. I picked up every chair, and looked on the ground beneath them.
I walked over to the corner table, hopeless. As I picked up the last chair, I saw a note. Suddenly I heard someone coming in through the back. I quickly snatched the note, and turned off my flashlight. I tiptoed over to the corner and crouched down, until my bottom hit the floor. I mentally thanked myself for wearing a dark, navy blue outfit today, and a black knapsack.
The people entered the front room.
“I hope Scarlet doesn’t figure out that our plan was a failure.” I gasped. I knew that voice! Cassie!
“Yeah, the Coffee Criminal skipped the Coffee Cabana and raided The Muffin House instead!” I heard Carla’s voice, now. So their plan was a no-go too! I guess I better sneak out with the evidence I had, and go take a look at The Muffin House too!
“Let’s look around,” Cassie said. Two flashlights were switched on, and walked toward the counter. I slowly walked to the door. The two girls were still bent down behind the counter. I stood up, and so did someone else. I panicked, and then realized there was a mirror behind the counter. I slowly walked to the door. I stopped there, thinking that maybe I shouldn’t open the door until they were in the back.
“Whoa! Look at this, Cassie! Don’t tell Scarlet yet, it’s a perfect clue,” Carla said. So that’s how they wanted to do this, huh? I decided to slouch back to my spot, and listen to what it was.
“Wow! A ski mask! We can say that the Coffee Criminal came in, too off the ski mask, noticed us, then ran!” Cassie exclaimed.
“Sure, we can say that, or, since she probably watched the news already, we can say that…we just found this clue, and the police gave us an award! Make her jealous!” Carla’s evil mind was at work. If that’s the way they’re going to do things now, I’m…not going to do the same thing! That would just be getting as low as them. I’ll just foil they’re little ‘Make Scarlet Jealous’ Party. Yup, that’s what I’m going to do. With one swift motion I was out the door.
I ran all the way to the Muffin House. No one was there. I walked inside. It was ransacked. It was bad. I switched on my flashlight. I walked over to the counter, papers were lying everywhere. I also noticed the cash register was opened and empty. The place was dusty already. That’s it! Perfect! I was sure to locate fingerprints somewhere. I shone my light on one of the shelves of the counter. Sure enough, fingerprints were printed 4 times, in this order, a pointer finger, a middle finger, a ring finger, and a pinky. Someone was looking for something. Just then, I heard police sirens outside. I ran to the back before anyone could enter. On the way, I tripped on a black heel for e left foot. My eyes opened wide. I gasped, and picked it up.
I snuck out the back exit and ran back to my house.
I sprawled out on my bed, opening my knapsack and going through today’s finds. I unfolded the note and began to read it.

Dear Miss Tess Brazier,
All of your Coffee Competitors are owned by us. It would be smart to let us buy you. Unfortunately for you, you don’t have a choice! Unless you miraculously come up with $500,000, your little Mocha Coffee Café is ours. Now, I know you are probably feeling defeated right about now, but there are many perks about being owned by Bigby Beans Inc., just give us a call at 555-6000. Thank you. Sincerely,
Mike Bigby
Bigby Beans Inc.

Wow. $500,000 was a lot of money. Tess did seem upset. Did the press know about this? As I thought I started to jot down some notes. Things I thought were clues, and things I knew were clues.

- No owners were at the crime scene
- All other Coffee shops were owned by Bigby Beans Inc.
- Tess was especially hurt by this - or was she?
- The robber is a girl
- The robber wears black high heels

I thought I knew where this was going. If no owners were at the crime scene to explain what happened, and all the owners – except for Tess, of course - were owned by Bigby Beans. So, could it be that Mike Bigby was behind all this? Was he making sure Tess didn’t make the money, and he was robbing all of his stores to clear him? Then, what about the black heel? Or, possibly Tess was behind this. She was robbing Bigby owned stores to make the money, or to distract Mike for a while. I decided to go confront Tess. I still needed good proof, but, Tess was a nice girl, if she had any guilt on her back she’d spill when I asked her to be honest.
I walked past the Muffin House on the way to see Tess. I poked my head in.
“How’s it going?” I exclaimed, forcing a smile. Everyone turned to me.
“Nothing has been found,” my uncle said. Wait – my uncle!
“Uncle Rocky!” I ran and threw my arms around him, just as I did when I was a kid. My Uncle Rocky lived in New Jersey. “What are you doing here?” I asked him.
“All the police here are stumped, so they called me in. I was going to come visit you today, but it looks like you came to visit me instead!” he laughed. My Uncle Rocky was a policeman, but he was really goofy. He was my favorite uncle.
“Well, actually I better get going! Stop by!” I called as I ran out the door. I heard him laugh as he waved.
I arrived at her house five minutes later. My bony fingers formed a fist and knocked on her small cherry door.
“Who is it?” she called.
“Just Scarlet!” I yelled back. She opened the door cautiously. She let out a sigh when she saw me. I detected it as a sigh of relief. She had one arm on the door handle and her other arm around a crutch. My eyes blinked twice. She was on crutches! I looked at her feet. Her right foot had the black heel, but her left foot was tightly wrapped in a cast.
I looked up and her and slowly pulled out the black heel I had found at the Muffin House.
“Where did you get that?” Tess scowled. I looked her in the eyes, and saw a threatening gleam in them.
My instinct was to run, but I had to get the confession. I knew she couldn’t hurt me on crutches.
“The heel? Oh, I was just sleuthing, and I tripped over it at The Muffin House. Why? Does it look familiar?” I decided to play stupid. She took advantage of it.
“Oh, no! I just, well, what did you come here for?’ She asked me.
“Actually, you know, this heel looks a lot like yours. Your foot is also in a cast, and this heel is a left,” I pointed out. “Show me your other heel,” I demanded.
“Go away, Scarlet,” Tess had fear and danger in her eyes.
“I know it’s you, Tess. Confess!” Just then someone tapped my shoulder. It was Cassie and Carla.
“We’re always here to back you up,” Carla smiled. Cassie gave me another light hug behind my back. Then she added in a whisper, “With a tape recorder!” We all giggled.
Tess took the chance and closed the door. I slammed on it.
“Don’t get the police involved in this!” I yelled, not knowing how much danger I was in.
Tess opened the door slowly, and with an old wooden bat, raised her hands, and brought the bat down – on Carla’s head. She collapsed to the floor.
“Cassie – go, take her to the hospital, NOW!” I found myself crying.
“I can’t leave you here alone!” She gasped, tears trickling down her face also.
“Do it.” I ordered. She obeyed this time, and ran to the edge of the street. In no time, she was in a Taxi going to the NYCHospital.
“Don’t make this hard, Tess,” I groaned. Tess threw the bat behind her. It crashed into something glass.
“I have worked all my life to own my own Coffee shop. Then that Mike Bigby had to come and ruin everything. I had to rob all coffee shops, not only to earn the $500,000 I needed to keep my shop, but also to hurt Mike and his business…badly,” she confessed. It was all on tape.
“Now, I am not stupid Scarlet Emerald. She grabbed my knapsack and I yanked it back.
“Some things in there are personal,” I whined. She reached for it again anyway. This time she succeeded. She grabbed the tape recorder and threw it in the road. A car drove by and crushed it.
“Now you have no proof, and I’m moving to California! She walked back into her house. I followed inside. I hid behind the couch and dialed my Uncle’s cell number.
“Quick! Come to Tess’ house!” “No!” “She confessed!” “Yes, come on!” I complained over the cell. Just then a long hand took my phone. Tess threw it out the window. She was behind me the whole time. She ran outside.
“You’ve failed this time, Scarlet!” She ran out the door. I smiled as m uncle took her in his arms and handcuffed her.
“Say that again?” I frustrated her.
“I hate this family!” She tried to wiggle out of his tight grasp.

• • • •

Later that night, Cassie came to my house with news that Carla was fine. She had no concussion, or whereabouts. My uncle, my aunt, and my cousins also stopped by. Along with Carla and Cassie came their parents and we had a full house.
We sat down to eat dinner, and Cassie, Carla and I told our story of the Black High Heel.

Last edited by Pearlz13; 07-05-2008 at 11:35 AM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
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Old 07-05-2008, 04:35 PM   #245
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Default Re: WI's Next Top WRITER!! ~Season 1~

Dang... I have absolutely NO ideas. At all. Well, check that. I have an idea, but I can't get a whole story out of it...
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Old 07-05-2008, 05:21 PM   #246
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Default Re: WI's Next Top WRITER!! ~Season 1~

Could you move the deadline up to Tuesday? I have had a busy 4th of July week. Please?
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Old 07-05-2008, 06:51 PM   #247
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Default Re: WI's Next Top WRITER!! ~Season 1~

Check your profile, violet. Cattails, please PM me about your idea- I might be able to give you some tips.
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Old 07-05-2008, 07:09 PM   #248

Default Re: WI's Next Top WRITER!! ~Season 1~

Okay, here is my problem,

I'm on 4th of July vacation and I have a babysitter tonight because my parents are out for dinner. I have to help her with my younger brother, so I'll only be on for a while longer. Not long enough to write a mystery. So, I can't write it tonight unless I stay up 4 hours after my parents come home in 2-3 hours working on my story and I don't want to do that because I have a big day tomorrow.

Tomorrow me and my family are coming home. We have to take a car ride, boat ride and then a car ride again. After that we have to drive to my sleep away camp where I will be dropped off. I have no time to write before I get dropped off. At my sleep away camp we cannot have electronics so I cannot bring my laptop. I will be at my sleep away camp until Friday night at 8:00 PM and then we will get a hotel room. The next morning we will drive an hour home and there I will have the time to write my mystery.

That is my problem. If I have to and this is a complicated problem that cannot be resolved, please tell me. I am prepared to drop out. I really don't want to but if I have to I will. I've had a great time being in this contest and I hope you liked my stories which have gotten the score of 8.5 every single time. If you have any advice, please give me it ASAP. I will probably be on for another hour at the most. Sorry again. Thank you all. Oh, and TexasGirl, please save me a spot in Season Two and let me know when it is like I told you to do that time I almost dropped out. I also thank you for giving me a second chance after the fairy tale round. That was nice of you. Rep point. Will you be my friend also? See you later.
Old 07-05-2008, 07:19 PM   #249
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Default Re: WI's Next Top WRITER!! ~Season 1~

Turtle, I can understand your circumstances, and as I have told violet, I feel it's important to not rush it. I can wait. I'll be your friend, send me a request, if you don't mind. No worries. The finals are nearing, so I'll be making more acceptions.
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Old 07-05-2008, 07:54 PM   #250
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Default Re: WI's Next Top WRITER!! ~Season 1~

I can just post it... I don't really care if people know... not much that I have, anyways.
Not much of a concept, something about a hand-me-down locket back from colonial days getting stolen. That's all I really have...
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congrats pearlz, go gymnast!!!!, go turtle!, good luck you can do it!, good luck!, gymnastgirl's gonna win!

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