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Old 10-31-2008, 11:53 PM   #21
ILuvLilRascals
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Default Re: Short Story Writing contest!

May I enter your writing contest. Thank you.

---------- ILuvLilRascals added 130 Minutes and 21 Seconds later ----------

I am entering my short story. I posted above, asking if I could join. I have not heard, and I hope it will be ok with you. I will post it now.

Last edited by ILuvLilRascals; 10-31-2008 at 11:53 PM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
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Old 10-31-2008, 11:57 PM   #22
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Default Re: Short Story Writing contest!

A Last Look Back
I entered the room only wanting to get out. And angry guard stood in front of me, ready to capture. I had no choice but to escape this place. My father banished me from the town of Medrea, for a strange reason. I was suspected to be the one who killed the town’s crops because I was the only one in the field at the time. I’m not sure who did it, all I know is that it wasn’t me.
I decided to escape because I was to be put in the dungeon by the guard if I didn’t admit that I did it. I’m fleeing tomorrow, early in the morning. I don’t know where I’m going, but any place is better than here.
I am off today, packing nothing but food and extra clothing. My horse, Fury, is taking me. I hopped onto Fury, and started going slowly, not sure if I was making the right decision… Suddenly, Fury sped up unexpectedly, going as fast as he could go! I looked behind me, and saw that I was being chased by villagers!
I don’t know how long I rode for after that… I was concentrating on my life more than time. It then started to snow... unfortunately, it was cold, like it always is. I had to bear it, because if I stopped, next thing I’d know, I would be in the dungeon. I was awfully nervous to even THINK about looking back. I couldn’t resist, and all I could see was green… green forest. Amongst the green, I saw one speck of a glowing bright ball, far, far away. Suddenly, my mind was overflowing with memories of the good old days living in Medrea.Off I rode into the snowy wood, not knowing where I would end up.
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Old 10-31-2008, 11:58 PM   #23
ILuvLilRascals
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Default Re: Short Story Writing contest!

Here is my short story:

I walked into the room, only to want to run back. I was scared. I could hear water running in the bathroom, and I knew I was not alone. I was on the last leg of my journey. I was close to returning to Abuelo what was taken away from him, and I was not going to leave without it.

My name is Cheyenne. I am a 13-year old Native American boy from the Navajo Tribe. I live in a village east of Taos, an artist colony, located in the northern part of New Mexico. I lived with my grandpa, Abuelo, who passed away three days ago. That is how long I have been traveling. I will live alone when I return to my village, but I will not be alone. My people will take care of me.

Abuelo was a sheep herder. The wool from our sheep was passed on to the women in the village, and they would weave the wool into beautiful blankets. Their spirts would go into each and every blanket they wove. In my culture, a flaw will always be found in each piece of art, only visible to the creator. The flaw allows the spirit to escape. We do not allow cameras into any of our ceremonies, some of which are open to the public, because we believe our spirits will be captured if a photo is taken. Last week a tourist took a picture of the men in my village performing an eagle dance. Abuelo was one of the dancers. Some of the elders immediately turned to the man with the camera, but the tourist ran, realizing he had done something wrong. I watched as he tossed a black bag into the seat of a small red car and sped away. A few days later, Abuelo passed away. He was an old man with an old heart, and we knew he should not be dancing, but he was a proud and stubborn man too.

After Abuelo passed, I set out on foot to look for the tourist who had captured Abuelo's spirt. I walked five miles into Taos, and searched for the red car. I learned from a merchant in an art gallery that the man had purchased a piece of pottery and had mentioned going south to Santa Fe to ski. That is where I headed. I walked most of the time, and also rode in the back of pick-up trucks whenever I was offered a ride. Eventually I arrived in the plaza of Santa Fe. I was tired and hungry. Knowing that most tourists stay at the La Fonda Hotel, since the ski bus departs each morning from there to the ski basin, I focused my search there. I sat in the lobby, watching as the buses loaded and departed each day, carrying skiers up to the mountains. I slept in the lobby that first night, and some of the cooks in the cafe snuck food over to me. On the second day there, I spotted the man with the camera. I somehow had missed him boarding the bus, but I caught sight of him coming off of it. I followed him, staying a safe distance behind. I waited, hidden in an alcove and watched him open a door. I decided I would sneak into the room when he left for the mountains the following morning. I slept soundly on the soft carpet. When morning came, I was able to get a housekeeper to open the door for me, telling her I was sent to deliver a message to the tourist. She put a card into a slot on the door, and it opened.

As soon as I walked in and realized I was not alone, fear set in. But anger had already set in too. I glanced quickly around the room and spotted the black bag the man had tossed into his car. I opened the zipper and found at least 50 rolls of film. I carefully removed his camera from the bag, opened it, and removed the film that was in it. I then tucked the rest of the film into pockets and down the front of my shirt. I quietly stepped out, closing the door behind me. I headed back to my village. I was picked up early into my walk, so I was able to ride in a truck for most of the way. When I got home, I gathered rocks around the ground and made a circle. I then went to bed and slept. Early the next morning, I sat by my rocks and took out all of the film from their containers. I lit a fire. I put in the first roll of film, and I watched it melt into the fire. I did this with each and every roll. Just when I was getting the last roll of film ready to put into the fire, a white puff of smoke flew out of the flames. I watched, as the smoke rose higher and higher. Suddenly, I saw an eagle in the sky. He was flying my way. He swirled around me a couple of times and then flew back into the sky. That was the first time I let myself cry. Abuelo's spirit was now free.
Click the image to open in full size.

Last edited by ILuvLilRascals; 11-01-2008 at 01:19 AM.. Reason: corrected typing errors
Old 11-01-2008, 03:53 AM   #24
University Duck
Guest

Default Re: Short Story Writing contest!

I don't have much talent in the area of writing, but I do enjoy reading short stories. I hope you don't mind me posting, but there is a lot of talent here, and I want to commend all of you. The story of the boy and his grandpa really touched me. Good work everyone! And Rep for you for starting such a wonderful contest thread.
Old 11-01-2008, 03:11 PM   #25
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Default Re: Short Story Writing contest!

View Post Originally Posted by ILuvLilRascals
May I enter your writing contest. Thank you.

---------- ILuvLilRascals added 130 Minutes and 21 Seconds later ----------

I am entering my short story. I posted above, asking if I could join. I have not heard, and I hope it will be ok with you. I will post it now.
Of course you can enter!

---------- cmwqt added 1 Minutes and 8 Seconds later ----------

View Post Originally Posted by ILuvLilRascals
Here is my short story:

I walked into the room, only to want to run back. I was scared. I could hear water running in the bathroom, and I knew I was not alone. I was on the last leg of my journey. I was close to returning to Abuelo what was taken away from him, and I was not going to leave without it.

My name is Cheyenne. I am a 13-year old Native American boy from the Navajo Tribe. I live in a village east of Taos, an artist colony, located in the northern part of New Mexico. I lived with my grandpa, Abuelo, who passed away three days ago. That is how long I have been traveling. I will live alone when I return to my village, but I will not be alone. My people will take care of me.

Abuelo was a sheep herder. The wool from our sheep was passed on to the women in the village, and they would weave the wool into beautiful blankets. Their spirts would go into each and every blanket they wove. In my culture, a flaw will always be found in each piece of art, only visible to the creator. The flaw allows the spirit to escape. We do not allow cameras into any of our ceremonies, some of which are open to the public, because we believe our spirits will be captured if a photo is taken. Last week a tourist took a picture of the men in my village performing an eagle dance. Abuelo was one of the dancers. Some of the elders immediately turned to the man with the camera, but the tourist ran, realizing he had done something wrong. I watched as he tossed a black bag into the seat of a small red car and sped away. A few days later, Abuelo passed away. He was an old man with an old heart, and we knew he should not be dancing, but he was a proud and stubborn man too.

After Abuelo passed, I set out on foot to look for the tourist who had captured Abuelo's spirt. I walked five miles into Taos, and searched for the red car. I learned from a merchant in an art gallery that the man had purchased a piece of pottery and had mentioned going south to Santa Fe to ski. That is where I headed. I walked most of the time, and also rode in the back of pick-up trucks whenever I was offered a ride. Eventually I arrived in the plaza of Santa Fe. I was tired and hungry. Knowing that most tourists stay at the La Fonda Hotel, since the ski bus departs each morning from there to the ski basin, I focused my search there. I sat in the lobby, watching as the buses loaded and departed each day, carrying skiers up to the mountains. I slept in the lobby that first night, and some of the cooks in the cafe snuck food over to me. On the second day there, I spotted the man with the camera. I somehow had missed him boarding the bus, but I caught sight of him coming off of it. I followed him, staying a safe distance behind. I waited, hidden in an alcove and watched him open a door. I decided I would sneak into the room when he left for the mountains the following morning. I slept soundly on the soft carpet. When morning came, I was able to get a housekeeper to open the door for me, telling her I was sent to deliver a message to the tourist. She put a card into a slot on the door, and it opened.

As soon as I walked in and realized I was not alone, fear set in. But anger had already set in too. I glanced quickly around the room and spotted the black bag the man had tossed into his car. I opened the zipper and found at least 50 rolls of film. I carefully removed his camera from the bag, opened it, and removed the film that was in it. I then tucked the rest of the film into pockets and down the front of my shirt. I quietly stepped out, closing the door behind me. I headed back to my village. I was picked up early into my walk, so I was able to ride in a truck for most of the way. When I got home, I gathered rocks around the ground and made a circle. I then went to bed and slept. Early the next morning, I sat by my rocks and took out all of the film from their containers. I lit a fire. I put in the first roll of film, and I watched it melt into the fire. I did this with each and every roll. Just when I was getting the last roll of film ready to put into the fire, a white puff of smoke flew out of the flames. I watched, as the smoke rose higher and higher. Suddenly, I saw an eagle in the sky. He was flying my way. He swirled around me a couple of times and then flew back into the sky. That was the first time I let myself cry. Abuelo's spirit was now free.
Click the image to open in full size.
OMG! that was AMAZING!

---------- cmwqt added 2 Minutes and 47 Seconds later ----------

Only 2 spaces left!

---------- cmwqt added 1 Minutes and 21 Seconds later ----------

View Post Originally Posted by University Duck
I don't have much talent in the area of writing, but I do enjoy reading short stories. I hope you don't mind me posting, but there is a lot of talent here, and I want to commend all of you. The story of the boy and his grandpa really touched me. Good work everyone! And Rep for you for starting such a wonderful contest thread.
Thanks for posting such a nice comment! You can keep following the contest and vote once everyone has entered!

---------- cmwqt added 0 Minutes and 32 Seconds later ----------

Only 2 spaces left!!!!!!

---------- cmwqt added 10 Minutes and 25 Seconds later ----------

anybody else want to enter?

Last edited by cmwqt; 11-01-2008 at 03:11 PM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
cmwqt is offline Female
Old 11-01-2008, 03:24 PM   #26
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Default Re: Short Story Writing contest! ONLY 2 SPOTS LEFT!!!!!!!!

I'd LOVE to enter!
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Old 11-01-2008, 03:39 PM   #27
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Default Re: Short Story Writing contest! ONLY 2 SPOTS LEFT!!!!!!!!

View Post Originally Posted by koala7498
I'd LOVE to enter!
okay! I'll add you to the list!

---------- cmwqt added 6 Minutes and 44 Seconds later ----------

Only 1 spot left!!!!!!!!!!

---------- cmwqt added 5 Minutes and 3 Seconds later ----------

does anybody else want to enter?

Last edited by cmwqt; 11-01-2008 at 03:39 PM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
cmwqt is offline Female
Old 11-01-2008, 03:51 PM   #28
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Default Re: Short Story Writing contest! ONLY 1 SPOT LEFT!!!!!!!!!

Okay, here is mine.

+“…and I swore we were i n f i n i t e.”


I stepped into my small, dark bedroom, only to want to turn back and enter the kitchen again. The day was beautiful, and I wanted to go enjoy it. I shuffled over to my bed, grabbing the plain white dress that was laying on it. I pulled off the torn nightgown I slept in and put it on, rushing out the door. I ran to the kitchen and sat on the bay window sill.
Over the past few days, winter had its firm grasp on this earth. However, today it seemed to loosen its grip and let a little spring air into the globe. I smiled as I reached my hand out the window, feeling the cool breeze. My grin grew even wider when I looked down into the landscape; the snow was melting. Slowly, yes, but melting nonetheless. My ears caught the sound of quite a few birds chirping, singing their beautiful songs. I bit my lip as my gaze traveled over one bird, a young one, who was taking off from the branch he had been resting on. I watched as he flew into the air freely. Free; a word that cut a whole in my heart every time I heard it, every time I said it in my mind.
I shook my head to get those thoughts out of my mind.
No. I wouldn’t let that spoil my mood. Happiness was already creeping back into me. Spring was starting to show itself, and for that I was happy. There would be no more nights stuck in Berl’s abode, cold and lonely. I could at least go out once and a while now, and I was quite grateful for that.
The sound of a door cracking open caught my attention. I looked up at the sun, high in the sky. It was already midday. “About time Berl woke up,” I murmured, and then added, “Not like it would be a tragedy or anything if he didn’t at all.” I laughed a bit, still facing the window.
“Siba-Rose!” I whipped around as I heard my name being called. Berl was there, already in the kitchen where I was sitting on the windowsill. I nodded, muttering a quick, “Good morning.” He walked over to the wooden table and pulled out a chair.
"Get me some bread,” he ordered.
I acknowledged his request with a quiet, “Of course.” I walked over to one of the cabinets and reached my hand in, pulling out a plate. I then found some fresh, white bread and set it on the table.
“So,” Berl started, without even a thank you. “Were you heading out today?”
I got some butter and set it on the table as I answered. “Well, yes, actually. I was going to take a walk in the forest, and fetch some water from the well.” I paused. “Could I go now?”
The old, stocky man replied, with his mouth full, “Certainly, go.”
I walked over to the door, grabbing my red velvet cloak that was hanging on the coat rack. I had found this on the streets of Karben when I had been running away after the fire. It was one of the few possessions Berl had actually let me keep. I grasped the brass handle and twisted it, letting a fresh breeze flow in.
“Oh, and Venom?” I slowly turned around as the old man called me by his nickname for me.
“Yes?” He smirked. “Don’t try escaping.”
I nodded, running out the door. I grabbed the pitcher on my way. Where could I ever escape? There was forest surrounding the house for miles, and as far as I knew, we were the only human residents.
I ran along into the woods, happily breathing in the cool spring air. The ice on the tips of the grass and trees was melting and the sun was still high in the sky. My dark brown curls cascaded down my back, bouncing up and down as I jogged. The well was slowly coming into view, closer and closer as I went on. I squinted as it neared. I could see a figure; someone was there- a male, by the looks of it. As I reached it, I could make out the boy clearer. He was tall and muscular, looking about my age. He had long and spiky blonde hair, shining in the sun. I didn’t want him to see me, so I took cover in the bushes that surrounded the well on three sides. I crawled into them, leaning against a large oak tree as I watched. He just sat there on the well. I groaned; I longed to get out of these bushes.
I leaned forward, but I felt a tug. I turned my head around as far as it could go and realized that my cloak has snagged onto the tree. I rolled my eyes and quietly slipped out of its red velvet sleeves. I let the cloak hand there on the magnificent oak, letting its tip touch the leaves that started to cover the ground. I would remember to get it later.
Looking up, I realized the beautiful boy had gone and was walking away. I grinned as I stepped out of the bushes, hoping he was out of hearing reach so he wouldn’t notice me; I didn’t like to make conversation much. But no, just the opposite of what I wished for, I saw him turn around and walk back at the sound of the leaves ruffling when I got out of the bushes. His gaze caught mine as he walked closer. I stared at the amazing blue outline of his pupils. His eyes were deep, seeming to go on forever in endless arrays of beauty.
“Hello.”
His low, musical voice interrupted my thoughts.
“Um, hi…” I responded, grabbing the jug and dipping it into the water.
“How are you?”
I looked up at him as I answered. “F…f…fine.”
Questions barraged my mind. Where did he come from? Who was he? I shook my head. No. I shouldn’t admire him. I should just walk away right now and leave. That’s exactly what I did- I grabbed the jug and ran off towards the cottage.

But images of the inhumanely beautiful boy still filled my head.






I hope you like it.
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Old 11-01-2008, 06:17 PM   #29
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Default Re: Short Story Writing contest! ONLY 1 SPOT LEFT!!!!!!!!!

View Post Originally Posted by Ave
Okay, here is mine.

+“…and I swore we were i n f i n i t e.”


I stepped into my small, dark bedroom, only to want to turn back and enter the kitchen again. The day was beautiful, and I wanted to go enjoy it. I shuffled over to my bed, grabbing the plain white dress that was laying on it. I pulled off the torn nightgown I slept in and put it on, rushing out the door. I ran to the kitchen and sat on the bay window sill.
Over the past few days, winter had its firm grasp on this earth. However, today it seemed to loosen its grip and let a little spring air into the globe. I smiled as I reached my hand out the window, feeling the cool breeze. My grin grew even wider when I looked down into the landscape; the snow was melting. Slowly, yes, but melting nonetheless. My ears caught the sound of quite a few birds chirping, singing their beautiful songs. I bit my lip as my gaze traveled over one bird, a young one, who was taking off from the branch he had been resting on. I watched as he flew into the air freely. Free; a word that cut a whole in my heart every time I heard it, every time I said it in my mind.
I shook my head to get those thoughts out of my mind.
No. I wouldn’t let that spoil my mood. Happiness was already creeping back into me. Spring was starting to show itself, and for that I was happy. There would be no more nights stuck in Berl’s abode, cold and lonely. I could at least go out once and a while now, and I was quite grateful for that.
The sound of a door cracking open caught my attention. I looked up at the sun, high in the sky. It was already midday. “About time Berl woke up,” I murmured, and then added, “Not like it would be a tragedy or anything if he didn’t at all.” I laughed a bit, still facing the window.
“Siba-Rose!” I whipped around as I heard my name being called. Berl was there, already in the kitchen where I was sitting on the windowsill. I nodded, muttering a quick, “Good morning.” He walked over to the wooden table and pulled out a chair.
"Get me some bread,” he ordered.
I acknowledged his request with a quiet, “Of course.” I walked over to one of the cabinets and reached my hand in, pulling out a plate. I then found some fresh, white bread and set it on the table.
“So,” Berl started, without even a thank you. “Were you heading out today?”
I got some butter and set it on the table as I answered. “Well, yes, actually. I was going to take a walk in the forest, and fetch some water from the well.” I paused. “Could I go now?”
The old, stocky man replied, with his mouth full, “Certainly, go.”
I walked over to the door, grabbing my red velvet cloak that was hanging on the coat rack. I had found this on the streets of Karben when I had been running away after the fire. It was one of the few possessions Berl had actually let me keep. I grasped the brass handle and twisted it, letting a fresh breeze flow in.
“Oh, and Venom?” I slowly turned around as the old man called me by his nickname for me.
“Yes?” He smirked. “Don’t try escaping.”
I nodded, running out the door. I grabbed the pitcher on my way. Where could I ever escape? There was forest surrounding the house for miles, and as far as I knew, we were the only human residents.
I ran along into the woods, happily breathing in the cool spring air. The ice on the tips of the grass and trees was melting and the sun was still high in the sky. My dark brown curls cascaded down my back, bouncing up and down as I jogged. The well was slowly coming into view, closer and closer as I went on. I squinted as it neared. I could see a figure; someone was there- a male, by the looks of it. As I reached it, I could make out the boy clearer. He was tall and muscular, looking about my age. He had long and spiky blonde hair, shining in the sun. I didn’t want him to see me, so I took cover in the bushes that surrounded the well on three sides. I crawled into them, leaning against a large oak tree as I watched. He just sat there on the well. I groaned; I longed to get out of these bushes.
I leaned forward, but I felt a tug. I turned my head around as far as it could go and realized that my cloak has snagged onto the tree. I rolled my eyes and quietly slipped out of its red velvet sleeves. I let the cloak hand there on the magnificent oak, letting its tip touch the leaves that started to cover the ground. I would remember to get it later.
Looking up, I realized the beautiful boy had gone and was walking away. I grinned as I stepped out of the bushes, hoping he was out of hearing reach so he wouldn’t notice me; I didn’t like to make conversation much. But no, just the opposite of what I wished for, I saw him turn around and walk back at the sound of the leaves ruffling when I got out of the bushes. His gaze caught mine as he walked closer. I stared at the amazing blue outline of his pupils. His eyes were deep, seeming to go on forever in endless arrays of beauty.
“Hello.”
His low, musical voice interrupted my thoughts.
“Um, hi…” I responded, grabbing the jug and dipping it into the water.
“How are you?”
I looked up at him as I answered. “F…f…fine.”
Questions barraged my mind. Where did he come from? Who was he? I shook my head. No. I shouldn’t admire him. I should just walk away right now and leave. That’s exactly what I did- I grabbed the jug and ran off towards the cottage.

But images of the inhumanely beautiful boy still filled my head.






I hope you like it.
Wow! that was great! thanks for entering!!

---------- cmwqt added 0 Minutes and 56 Seconds later ----------

Only 1 spot left!!!!!!

---------- cmwqt added 5 Minutes and 47 Seconds later ----------

any one else want to enter?

---------- cmwqt added 9 Minutes and 7 Seconds later ----------

There is only 1 spot left!!!!!!

Last edited by cmwqt; 11-01-2008 at 06:17 PM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
cmwqt is offline Female
Old 11-01-2008, 06:20 PM   #30
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Default Re: Short Story Writing contest! ONLY 1 SPOT LEFT!!!!!!!!!

Never mind! I am not going to enter.

Last edited by Dolphingirl56; 11-01-2008 at 06:26 PM..
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