Battle of the Pens: ElfLover's WNTW- Webkinz Next Top Writer! Round One- Beginning the Tale!

[hpfan9]

And another thing: That was ma first time being a naarrarator (?)

[catzrock]

Speak Now

Chapter 1
A nervous grinding feeling churned in my stomach as I shivered in anticipation. Peeking from back-stage, I could see Mrs. Johnson talking cheerfully through her microphone, envying how easy it was for her to be on stage, talking to an audience. In a few minutes, she’d be calling me up. I couldn’t help, but lean forward onto my toes, as the crowd clapped politely. Everything was happening to fast; just a blur. “We will now have Miss Tori Hall come onto the stand.” I gulped hard and stumbled forward. Everyone looked at me, and I felt utterly stupid right then as I breathed noisily into the mike. All I wanted was to dissolve, become invisible, anything to avoid the staring, speculating faces. What am I even doing here? I wondered desperately. The seconds ticked by, and still nothing came...Somebody in the crowd coughed, then there was complete silence.

My mom tapped her fingers on the driver’s wheel, shooting me a glance through the rear-view mirror. I stared on my feet, not saying anything. I hadn’t said anything when I’d stood there in front of that crowd of waiting people. I hadn’t said anything when Mrs. Johnson had helped me off stage, trying to sooth me like I was a little kid. I hadn’t said anything when I’d dived into the white mini van my mom owned. But, then again, nobody had said anything to me either. Mom finally broke the silence with a sigh. “Tori, I know how upset you are right now, but you have to face your fear. Nothing is going to change if you don’t.” the words were empty sounds, since I’d heard them more than once. I hardly glanced up. “Please, listen to-“
“I don’t want to talk,” I cut in harshly. Little did I know that I’d regret those words that I’d said for a very long time. My mom looked at me again through the rear-view mirror, her eyes full of emotion. That was when the truck slammed into our car. Glass shattered. The world seemed to spin. A scream tore through my throat.

[ElfLover]

Originally Posted by catzrock

Speak Now

Chapter 1
A nervous grinding feeling churned in my stomach as I shivered in anticipation. Peeking from back-stage, I could see Mrs. Johnson talking cheerfully through her microphone, envying how easy it was for her to be on stage, talking to an audience. In a few minutes, she’d be calling me up. I couldn’t help, but lean forward onto my toes, as the crowd clapped politely. Everything was happening to fast; just a blur. “We will now have Miss Tori Hall come onto the stand.” I gulped hard and stumbled forward. Everyone looked at me, and I felt utterly stupid right then as I breathed noisily into the mike. All I wanted was to dissolve, become invisible, anything to avoid the staring, speculating faces. What am I even doing here? I wondered desperately. The seconds ticked by, and still nothing came...Somebody in the crowd coughed, then there was complete silence.

My mom tapped her fingers on the driver’s wheel, shooting me a glance through the rear-view mirror. I stared on my feet, not saying anything. I hadn’t said anything when I’d stood there in front of that crowd of waiting people. I hadn’t said anything when Mrs. Johnson had helped me off stage, trying to sooth me like I was a little kid. I hadn’t said anything when I’d dived into the white mini van my mom owned. But, then again, nobody had said anything to me either. Mom finally broke the silence with a sigh. “Tori, I know how upset you are right now, but you have to face your fear. Nothing is going to change if you don’t.” the words were empty sounds, since I’d heard them more than once. I hardly glanced up. “Please, listen to-“
“I don’t want to talk,” I cut in harshly. Little did I know that I’d regret those words that I’d said for a very long time. My mom looked at me again through the rear-view mirror, her eyes full of emotion. That was when the truck slammed into our car. Glass shattered. The world seemed to spin. A scream tore through my throat.

Wow! This is really good!

[catzrock]

Thanks!(: I'm glad you like it!

[jonas12345]

I'll post after school!

Okay here it is. It is the same story I PM'd you, ElfLover, but I added more detail, and more to the end of the chapter.

Remnants of Loved Ones.
Chapter 1
"Hold up, hold up!" Those were the last words Rachel's Dad and Mom had heard. She had thought about them everytime she passed over Lagone Bridge in her town. There was a short detour over another bridge leading to Wal-Mart. Unfortunatly her parents hadn't seen the signs. The traffic man tried to stop them before it was too late. It was. They drove straight off the bridge, and into the water. They were never heard from again.

Today Rachel was on her way to a study group at Lagone Place, which was right across the bridge. Rachel dreaded the ride across. But soon her grandmother drove over the bridge and she was silent. They were talking about her friend Erin, the diva as everyone called her. She had completly forgotton about the conversation while going over the bridge. It's is kind of a place to mourn her parents, because the bodies were never found. Sure they had a memorial, but it wasn't a true funeral as they would have wanted. Her grandmother always asked her what was wrong as they drove over it. Rachel never answered. As soon as they pulled up on the street, Rachel hopped out. Here we go again. Rachel thought.

"Okay guys! We have a project to do!" Erin yelled as she walked in. They were all talking about choir. As she yelled, we all got quiet. Allen wheeled up to her in his wheelchair and told her that her hair was pretty. She smirked. She then said our project was to make a collage of photos about our life. Rachel thought about all of her pictures. Only 3 were with her mom and dad. She huffed. This will be the hardest school project ever. Rachel wracked her brain for a long time thinking about what she had did with her parents the day they took the picture. She had almost burst into tears three times. This is so hard! Rachel thought. She then got started writing all of the captions. By the time she was done it was time to go.

Rachel started walking home at 7:05. She would then be home by at least 8:30 at the latest. She thought about her life at the moment, and her last moments with her parents. She shed a tear or two. She stopped crying. She had slowed down. So she decided to take a break on a bench in the aprk. Her house was 2 blocks away so it didn't bother she much. After a while she started back down the street. Her grandmother would be expecting her by now. As she walked in the door she yelled "GRAM!" There was no answer. She yelled again. still no answer. By then she was frantically searching, sweating, and crying. "GRAM! WHERE ARE YOU!?" She yelled. Still no reply. She ran up the stairs to her Grandmother's bedroom, and saw it. Her Grandmother lying dead in her bed. Rachel suspected a heart attack.
To be continued.

-Dani

[ElfLover]

Originally Posted by jonas12345

I'll post after school!

Okay here it is. It is the same story I PM'd you, ElfLover, but I added more detail, and more to the end of the chapter.

Remnants of Loved Ones.
Chapter 1
"Hold up, hold up!" Those were the last words Rachel's Dad and Mom had heard. She had thought about them everytime she passed over Lagone Bridge in her town. There was a short detour over another bridge leading to Wal-Mart. Unfortunatly her parents hadn't seen the signs. The traffic man tried to stop them before it was too late. It was. They drove straight off the bridge, and into the water. They were never heard from again.

Today Rachel was on her way to a study group at Lagone Place, which was right across the bridge. Rachel dreaded the ride across. But soon her grandmother drove over the bridge and she was silent. They were talking about her friend Erin, the diva as everyone called her. She had completly forgotton about the conversation while going over the bridge. It's is kind of a place to mourn her parents, because the bodies were never found. Sure they had a memorial, but it wasn't a true funeral as they would have wanted. Her grandmother always asked her what was wrong as they drove over it. Rachel never answered. As soon as they pulled up on the street, Rachel hopped out. Here we go again. Rachel thought.

"Okay guys! We have a project to do!" Erin yelled as she walked in. They were all talking about choir. As she yelled, we all got quiet. Allen wheeled up to her in his wheelchair and told her that her hair was pretty. She smirked. She then said our project was to make a collage of photos about our life. Rachel thought about all of her pictures. Only 3 were with her mom and dad. She huffed. This will be the hardest school project ever. Rachel wracked her brain for a long time thinking about what she had did with her parents the day they took the picture. She had almost burst into tears three times. This is so hard! Rachel thought. She then got started writing all of the captions. By the time she was done it was time to go.

Rachel started walking home at 7:05. She would then be home by at least 8:30 at the latest. She thought about her life at the moment, and her last moments with her parents. She shed a tear or two. She stopped crying. She had slowed down. So she decided to take a break on a bench in the aprk. Her house was 2 blocks away so it didn't bother she much. After a while she started back down the street. Her grandmother would be expecting her by now. As she walked in the door she yelled "GRAM!" There was no answer. She yelled again. still no answer. By then she was frantically searching, sweating, and crying. "GRAM! WHERE ARE YOU!?" She yelled. Still no reply. She ran up the stairs to her Grandmother's bedroom, and saw it. Her Grandmother lying dead in her bed. Rachel suspected a heart attack.
To be continued.

-Dani

Thanks for entering!

[SailorHappiny]

This is my first chapter to my book in the making called In & Outsiders

Spoiler: show

Chapter 1: Bijoux
When I was born, I was given the name Elizabeth Pippa Felicity Gem under the sky of the Insiders. On my night of Age 15, I was given the replacement name, Bijoux. I am now Age 20. While back, my family went cursed. The Great Leader framed us for stealing her precious treasure. We had no clue of this; she did not believe us. She sentenced all of us in the name of Gem to the City of the Outsider. It was a horrid place. The poor Outsiders fought each of themselves to survive. They barely had any money. I? I kept the fortune after my mother, father, grandfather, and uncle all were taken to the Cave of Nevermore. I am the only Gem left. Still, if I die or marry, the name would die out any other way. Am I worried? With a cursed name like that, I’d rather die.

With my basket in hand, and my dress partly torn, I walk through the dirt paths to reach the marketplace. The sun is not shining. Clouds are dark and ready to flood.
The marketplace was slow this afternoon. The streets aren’t as crowded as normal. The marketplace had many food shops. Simon owned the bakery of “Sweets & Tarts”. Raj owned the bakery “Bread Added Pastries”. I work for Cose at “Organic Needs”. It wasn’t the worst job in the land, but it was better than being Street Picker. I am a Food Giver. The marketplace is full of Food Givers.
Back in my Insider days, I was a Song Bird. I sang songs for the other Insiders and the Great Leader. It was the life I dreamed of since I was a child. When you’re an Insider, you always get what you wish. Symbolically, it’s about money and talents’ worth to be an Insider. I was banned, so I had to pay the price.

“Miss Gem, what’s your excuse for your tardy?” Cose questions me once I arrive running.
“Lost of time because of the sun’s absence, Cose,” I answer politely and honestly.
“I see. Don’t let it happen again! I don’t hire slackers, you know.”
“Yes, sir.” I reach for my apron. Once I wrap it on, business was in service.
“Elizabeth,” a customer calls.
I head over to the counter. “What may I do for you today, Marieum?” I ask in kindness.
“More barley and flour,” she orders.
“Your husband’s not well yet?”
“I don’t know what it is, Bijoux. He doesn’t act the way he’s supposed to. He can’t get out of bed.” Her tears fall from her face. “He’s my man, Elizabeth.”
“I’ll see what this can do, Marieum.” I pack the barley in a spare basket. Next, I place the can of flour in front of her. “All in best, my friend.”
“Why, thank you, Bijoux.”
Family matters to me so. Since Marieum’s husband got ill, I did all I can to cure him. I didn’t say they work.

[ElfLover]

Originally Posted by SailorHappiny

This is my first chapter to my book in the making called In & Outsiders

Spoiler: show

Chapter 1: Bijoux
When I was born, I was given the name Elizabeth Pippa Felicity Gem under the sky of the Insiders. On my night of Age 15, I was given the replacement name, Bijoux. I am now Age 20. While back, my family went cursed. The Great Leader framed us for stealing her precious treasure. We had no clue of this; she did not believe us. She sentenced all of us in the name of Gem to the City of the Outsider. It was a horrid place. The poor Outsiders fought each of themselves to survive. They barely had any money. I? I kept the fortune after my mother, father, grandfather, and uncle all were taken to the Cave of Nevermore. I am the only Gem left. Still, if I die or marry, the name would die out any other way. Am I worried? With a cursed name like that, I’d rather die.

With my basket in hand, and my dress partly torn, I walk through the dirt paths to reach the marketplace. The sun is not shining. Clouds are dark and ready to flood.
The marketplace was slow this afternoon. The streets aren’t as crowded as normal. The marketplace had many food shops. Simon owned the bakery of “Sweets & Tarts”. Raj owned the bakery “Bread Added Pastries”. I work for Cose at “Organic Needs”. It wasn’t the worst job in the land, but it was better than being Street Picker. I am a Food Giver. The marketplace is full of Food Givers.
Back in my Insider days, I was a Song Bird. I sang songs for the other Insiders and the Great Leader. It was the life I dreamed of since I was a child. When you’re an Insider, you always get what you wish. Symbolically, it’s about money and talents’ worth to be an Insider. I was banned, so I had to pay the price.

“Miss Gem, what’s your excuse for your tardy?” Cose questions me once I arrive running.
“Lost of time because of the sun’s absence, Cose,” I answer politely and honestly.
“I see. Don’t let it happen again! I don’t hire slackers, you know.”
“Yes, sir.” I reach for my apron. Once I wrap it on, business was in service.
“Elizabeth,” a customer calls.
I head over to the counter. “What may I do for you today, Marieum?” I ask in kindness.
“More barley and flour,” she orders.
“Your husband’s not well yet?”
“I don’t know what it is, Bijoux. He doesn’t act the way he’s supposed to. He can’t get out of bed.” Her tears fall from her face. “He’s my man, Elizabeth.”
“I’ll see what this can do, Marieum.” I pack the barley in a spare basket. Next, I place the can of flour in front of her. “All in best, my friend.”
“Why, thank you, Bijoux.”
Family matters to me so. Since Marieum’s husband got ill, I did all I can to cure him. I didn’t say they work.

Sounds good! Thanks for posting your entry!

[SailorHappiny]

Thank you too.

[catzrock]

Hope some more entries are submitted soon.