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Old 10-20-2008, 04:30 PM   #71
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Default Re: ○ The Author's Criterion • Think You're a Good Writer? • Put Your Skills to the Test Here for PSFs! • All Spots are Filled, But You Can Read Along! ○

OK guys, we're down to 8 days! Just a reminder!

♫ ♪ Cheryl Faer ♪ ♫
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Old 10-23-2008, 04:18 PM   #72
Lions and Tigers and
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Default Re: ○ The Author's Criterion • Think You're a Good Writer? • Put Your Skills to the Test Here for PSFs! • All Spots are Filled, But You Can Read Along! ○

The Uncharacteristic Portal

Esmeralda stared at the emerald-studded bow which lay before her in the stiff snow, a trembling hand stretched out to grab it. She looked up at her companions for support.
"Should I take it?" the fifteen-year-old asked, her piercing green eyes shifting in turn to each of the people clustered around her.
"I wouldn't," advised a man, who looked in his early thirties. His hair was short and dirty-blonde, but an edge of grey was hinted at the tips. "There's something...mysterious about it. Maybe the warriors from before put an enchantment on it."
"What kind of enchantment?" That was a teenager about Esmeralda's age, female, with dark brown hair pulled into a perfect braid to her waist, unlike Esmeralda, whose striking silver hair swung around her shoulders with every step she took.
"Something undescribable," the man replied.
The girl grimaced.
Without any help given, as Esmeralda found it, she grasped her hand around the bow, and suddenly the weapon was illuminated by a lemon yellow glow. Before anyone had a chance to blink, the bow and its carrier disappeared.
Esmeralda opened her eyes slowly. The bright light that greeted them was almost too much to bear. But the sight that materialized in front of her was much more shocking. She was no longer surrounded by the dimly lit foliage of the Forest of Lorre. Instead, shiny, strange chairs were grouped around tables that reminded her of those she had eaten her meals at before embarking on her quest. But they weren't fashioned out of heavy oak. They appeared to be made of some sort of stone, polished to the extent that Esmeralda could see her disheveled reflection in the surface of the one before her. There was a food counter to her left- or at least that's what she assumed it was, as it greatly resembled the one in the tavern in the Brislitan Valley, where she had spent many a day waiting for her father's shift to end and him to emerge from the kitchen. Esmeralda noticed a sign hanging above the bar. It read Mable's Diner. She recognized the text as Brislitian, her native tongue, but the words themselves appeared to be foreign.
"What can I get for you, darlin'?" Esmeralda jumped at the voice of the woman who had appeared next to her table, a notepad in hand.
"Uh.... Could you please tell me in what village we happen to be?" A worried look slipped onto the woman's face.
"Are you here alone, hun?"
"Please, where are we?"
"Mable's Diner, 441 Birch Street, Atlanta, Georgia," she replied hesitantly. "Now where are your parents?" Esmeralda gulped and suddenly became aware of the bow in her hand. A trace of the yellow glow was still present.
"If you'll excuse me," Esmeralda stood up and darted past the bewildered woman, and out the door, into the rest of the unknown realm.


I added a few lines to the first part, I hope you don't mind. I wrote a ton more than this but then accidentally hit the back button and -uggh- lost it all. I hope you like it!

---------- Lissyla12 added 36 Minutes and 2 Seconds later ----------

BTW, 302 words. I really don't have time to write a whole story, is the cliffhanger ending okay?

Last edited by Lissyla12; 10-23-2008 at 04:19 PM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
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Old 10-23-2008, 04:31 PM   #73
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Default Re: ○ The Author's Criterion • Think You're a Good Writer? • Put Your Skills to the Test Here for PSFs! • All Spots are Filled, But You Can Read Along! ○

It's a good add-on! I understand, how you lost a ton an' all that.

302 words? Wow, I didn't expect you to count -- but wow! And yes, the cliffhanger's alright.

♫ ♪ Cherio ♪ ♫
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Old 10-23-2008, 06:34 PM   #74
Lions and Tigers and
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Default Re: ○ The Author's Criterion • Think You're a Good Writer? • Put Your Skills to the Test Here for PSFs! • All Spots are Filled, But You Can Read Along! ○

I just pasted into microsoft word and did a word count.
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Old 10-23-2008, 06:57 PM   #75
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Default Re: ○ The Author's Criterion • Think You're a Good Writer? • Put Your Skills to the Test Here for PSFs! • All Spots are Filled, But You Can Read Along! ○

Oh, I see...I didn't know you could do that! (Oh, wait, now I remember...xD)

♫ ♪ Cherio ♪ ♫
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Old 10-23-2008, 06:58 PM   #76
Lions and Tigers and
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Default Re: ○ The Author's Criterion • Think You're a Good Writer? • Put Your Skills to the Test Here for PSFs! • All Spots are Filled, But You Can Read Along! ○

Did you like it? Tell me the truth....
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Old 10-23-2008, 07:22 PM   #77
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Default Re: ○ The Author's Criterion • Think You're a Good Writer? • Put Your Skills to the Test Here for PSFs! • All Spots are Filled, But You Can Read Along! ○

Wow.... nice story, lissyla
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Old 10-23-2008, 07:49 PM   #78
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Default Re: ○ The Author's Criterion • Think You're a Good Writer? • Put Your Skills to the Test Here for PSFs! • All Spots are Filled, But You Can Read Along! ○

Yes, I'm telling you the truth here, I really liked it!

♫ ♪ Cheryl Faer ♪ ♫
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Old 10-23-2008, 09:20 PM   #79
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Default Re: ○ The Author's Criterion • Think You're a Good Writer? • Put Your Skills to the Test Here for PSFs! • All Spots are Filled, But You Can Read Along! ○

Thank you!

---------- Lissyla12 added 2 Minutes and 17 Seconds later ----------

hey, from now on, can we all call each other by our writing names? It'd be fun! Please Cheryl? Like in that post up there, it would have sounded so much more professional if Katherine had called me Elsie!

Last edited by Lissyla12; 10-23-2008 at 09:20 PM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
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Old 10-24-2008, 12:14 PM   #80
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Default Re: ○ The Author's Criterion • Think You're a Good Writer? • Put Your Skills to the Test Here for PSFs! • All Spots are Filled, But You Can Read Along! ○

Sure, I can do that - Elsie!

♫ ♪ Cheryl ♪ ♫
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