DISCUSSION - People with Special Needs and Webkinz

[Ivie]

Carmel_mom, it must be hard for you to leave scouts. It sounds like it's the best thing for your kids though. Hugs to you!

[tribbles]

Originally Posted by carmel_mom

The words from the website are the Scout Law. "A Scout is Trustworthy, Loyal,...." Yeah, they missed the boat on the helpful part. The troop wasn't connected to a Venturing troop, so there were no older kids to be mentors. That was a big part of the problem in my opinion. Honestly, BSA does NOT care about special needs kids. Occasionally there will be a troop of special needs kids, but not in my area. For the most part, special needs kids are expected to fit in perfectly or leave. They are a private organization and can discriminate all they want. There are plenty of discrimination lawsuits against them if you search the 'net.

There has been a change in the Girl Scouting plan. While the troop at my daughter's school was snotty and didn't want me as a leader because they had a system and I didn't fit in it, my daughter and I are now being INVITED by a troop from another school. It's actually girls she went to school with in kindergarten, but we were redistricted (twice) and haven't seen them in 4 years. I happen to be in touch with one mom on Facebook, and their troop would love another girl and an experienced leader. We go for a visit on Friday, then I'll let my daughter decide.

I am so glad Your DD may have found a troop that is wanting her, and wants you as a leader. I know if you were in the area where my nephews live My 2 nephews would have come along side your DS and help him. One nephew is an eagle scouts now the other one is waiting for paperwork to go thru for his eagle scout award. Its sad that boy scouts cant get their act together and do what they stand for. I do suggest you write to boy scouts national office and tell them this is why my son and I have quit. I think they should be aware of the problem and let them know that troop # he was in. The scout master needs to be educated on how not to discriminate. I am very upset that this has happened in both scout groups. When I was helping with girl scouts we promoted helping others that had special needs. We had a girl that was special needs in our troop and the girls included her the best they could. I will be praying that this scout group will work out for your DD and you. As for your DS since he is happy with not doing scouts let him do his other after school activities. From the sound of it, he is happy without scouts. I really hate, when someone excludes a special needs child....doesn't matter if its in or out of scouting programs it shouldn't be done. The world is promoting tolerance. But I don't see tolerance I see people that don't tolerate. Sometimes I would like to slap some people silly to "knock some sense" into them. But the only way they will have some sense knocked into them is to have a Special needs is born into the family. weither it be a son, daughter, niece, or nephew or even a grand child...it seems that is when people learn common sense. I have to go but I am wishing the best for your family.

*hugs*

tribbles

[carmel_mom]

Originally Posted by tribbles

I am so glad Your DD may have found a troop that is wanting her, and wants you as a leader. I know if you were in the area where my nephews live My 2 nephews would have come along side your DS and help him. One nephew is an eagle scouts now the other one is waiting for paperwork to go thru for his eagle scout award. Its sad that boy scouts cant get their act together and do what they stand for. I do suggest you write to boy scouts national office and tell them this is why my son and I have quit. I think they should be aware of the problem and let them know that troop # he was in. The scout master needs to be educated on how not to discriminate. I am very upset that this has happened in both scout groups. When I was helping with girl scouts we promoted helping others that had special needs. We had a girl that was special needs in our troop and the girls included her the best they could. I will be praying that this scout group will work out for your DD and you. As for your DS since he is happy with not doing scouts let him do his other after school activities. From the sound of it, he is happy without scouts. I really hate, when someone excludes a special needs child....doesn't matter if its in or out of scouting programs it shouldn't be done. The world is promoting tolerance. But I don't see tolerance I see people that don't tolerate. Sometimes I would like to slap some people silly to "knock some sense" into them. But the only way they will have some sense knocked into them is to have a Special needs is born into the family. weither it be a son, daughter, niece, or nephew or even a grand child...it seems that is when people learn common sense. I have to go but I am wishing the best for your family.

*hugs*

tribbles

Thanks, tribbles! I don't feel like wasting my time complaining to BSA. I could have a better conversation with a wall.

One thing that sticks like a thorn is that when we joined, the troop wouldn't go over 24 boys, and they had experience with special needs, and blah blah blah. The troop is at 31 boys, with more expected in the next 6 months. Their "experience" was one kid in a wheelchair, and one Asperger's kid who was able to self-manage his behavior very well. Well, I'm sorry, my son isn't self-managing yet.

I've attached the Individual Scout Plan if anybody wants to read it. Some of the problems are from March, when we first joined and he was overwhelmed. And who is going to be the judge of his behavior - the senior assistant scoutmaster who can't stand my son? What aggravates me is that I was starting to work VERY closely with my son on proper behavior at the meetings, complete with behavior cards to follow for each part of the meeting. He was very well behaved at the last 2 troop meetings with my new system. And the part about picture flash cards for each activity is just insulting. He's not five years old anymore. I don't know what training the one "autism specialist" had that they brought in for observation, or if she even had input on this, but my social worker looked at this and said they are missing the boat.

Such is life. And today I dropped the last of the troop's stuff on the Scoutmaster's doorstep. Tomorrow I finish packing up the trunks and throw them in the attic. We begin a new era in our lives.

My daughter is NOT special needs. In fact, she's advanced, and too smart for her own good. The problem with her Girl Scout troop was just snotty leaders who didn't want a new Assistant leader (me) treading on their "system". What scout troop doesn't want trained help?! Well, that one.

Tonight, my son has a low fever, and I don't feel so well, especially considering I spent the morning getting coughed on by a student. I hate cold/flu season.

Take care, all! Have a good week!

[meowsrus]

I apologize in advance, I have not had the opportunity to catch up on what all has been going on with everyone since the craft show on Sunday. Things happened that prevented that from happening, but (crossing my fingers and knocking on wood) I should be able to check in once a day for a while! YEA!!!!

The week has been slow going and I was working on the mini-quilts day and night for 7 days straight until 2:30-3 o'clock in the AM each day. I was exhausted, sick, and made quite a few mistakes, much to my chagrin and raised my frustration level, BUT I made them, got through it and YEA- hubby drove them up to my Mom just in time for the craft show to start. I did get to have pics of them, but haven't gotten to load them off of the camera yet.

THey turned out nice and my younger daughter was making pot holders/hot pads with cotton loops to sell. She made 6 of them and sold half!!!! I'm very proud of her for the hard work she put into it and she even learned how to finish them by herself (wow, listened to instructions from me, was the first and last time for days and days, [sigh]) LOL

Hubby came home and they waited for my exhausted donkey's behind to drag myself out of bed so we could all drive up to it. The girls like going to the shows with my Mom and I (or even if it is just one of us at it) and they couldn't wait to go. My older daughter even tried to make a mobile (as best as she could) to try to sell. It wasn't sellable, but I wasn't going to tell her that- she was putting so much work into it we would have slipped some money to another crafter we knew to come over and buy it to give back to us and save for her

She had LOADS of work to do all week, along with us all having that sickie, so she brought up her pieces to work on at the show. It was pumpkins, Jack o'Lanterns, and leaves. Her TSS had helped her on Friday to put the holes in all 22 of the pumpkins she had cut out, but they didn't get to the leaves.

Why is this important- keep reading LOL

My Mother (and me too) do crochet and she had a couple of sizes to work on some things while there for when it was slow (which was unfortunately the majority of the day).

When my older daughter wanted to put the holes in the leaves, my mother didn't want to give her the scissors- too big, she would get hurt. So..... What else to use? How about the smaller crochet hook?

The first leaf hole was made just fine. The second I guess was harder to get through. Where was I? I had just stepped out the front door for some fresh air - it was a beautiful day and hubby had just come back in so there would still be 2 adults at the table.

So here I come back inside after being outside for 1 minute and see my daughter being led over to me at the door. What else do I see? The crochet hook sticking out of her finger.

I looked, saw how deep, and said "well, I think we're going to the hospital. Just let me get my jacket".

This was at about 1:30. (I will leave out the insanity at the hospital) At 5 PM they had to fully sedate her and do a minor, emergency, surgical procedure to get the hook out of her finger- because it was 1/16 " from her nail and the end was hooked on her bone.

When my kids do something they do it right!

She is OK now, but we have to keep a close watch on her finger to make sure it isn't infected. She is on MAJOR anti-biotics and has 3 injection sites. I tell you that sedation was scary. She was awake, but in a 'dream-like state'. Like you are dreaming, but can't really move or react. She could blink, but only with MAJOR effort and concentration. She was there with heart monitor pads all over her chest, couldn't speak, was just drooling, a crash-cart just outside the room, a full surgical try there.

I was good- I held it together until well after we got her home and in bed- which was an adventure. She vomited the WHOLE way home and at home. She didn't have regular vision until about 1 pm yesterday afternoon.


Ahhhhhh, and yes childhood goes by so fast, so savor these days, LOL

We do have a printed X-ray sheet and I'm trying to get it scanned in to share with all of you! You can use it as examples to your kids/nieces/nephews/grandkids on the reason you should always use a hole-punch to punch holes in card-board. LOL

HUGS to you all, I have missed it soooooo much in here. I have to make things for the November show, but I will now have (knocking on wood and everything) time to work on them a little by little/

Oh and we are FINALLY feeling better from the sickies, so I am really hoping they don't bring anything else home from school

I got the X-rays scanned. It took a while and some creativity to get a small flashlight to hang above the scanner, but here they are:

[Mom2kinzlover]

Carmel,

I am so sorry this is happening with scouts. I have seen so many cases where a special needs kid has horrible difficulties in GSA and BSA- with kids and scout masters, even though their goal is to help and have the highest character. We had 2 special needs girls choose to leve girl scouts because the PARENTS felt the troop was being held back by the "Speds". I hope this new troop is better.

Meow,

I SHOOK when i saw that picture!!!! OMG I hope everything will be Ok with the hand! OUCH!!!!!

Here in my "world" my dd has been THRILLED that this Snow white game is on. As with most female Auties, DD has a fascination with the disney princesses (yes, even at her age) and she had the computer taken away at 10pm because she could NOT stop searching for dwarf shoes and other items. It reminds her of Artes.

Today I had a downer moment. I was at the local grocery store and a woman shopping there must have been a substitute aide to my dd at some point. She reckognized me and I semi reckognized her. She said "Hi! I worked with your daughter (name) before! She's the Autistic one!"

I said "Well, she's also the one who has brown hair, loves to sing and wants to be a Rockette some day..."

The lady just stayed silent and walked away. It was a reminder that dd is sometimes seen as a LABEL and not as a child. Maybe I'm just hormonal and oversensitive today.

[carmel_mom]

Originally Posted by Mom2kinzlover

Today I had a downer moment. I was at the local grocery store and a woman shopping there must have been a substitute aide to my dd at some point. She reckognized me and I semi reckognized her. She said "Hi! I worked with your daughter (name) before! She's the Autistic one!"

I said "Well, she's also the one who has brown hair, loves to sing and wants to be a Rockette some day..."

The lady just stayed silent and walked away. It was a reminder that dd is sometimes seen as a LABEL and not as a child. Maybe I'm just hormonal and oversensitive today.

I wouldn't be too down about it. She did know your daughter's name. It's better than "Oh, she's that autistic girl who kept yelling in class."

I'm to the point where I enjoy, "Oh, you're AARON's mom." My son is known by almost everybody, little Mr. Popularity that he is. At least he left an impression, and most of the time I can only HOPE that it was a good one. A thick skin and a twisted sense of humor can help alot!

Obviously the lady didn't work with your daughter enough to get to know her special talents and be able to discuss them with you. I know when I only work with a kid for a day, I don't know much about them. But when I've been with a kid several times, I like to find out something about them beyond the disability.

Thank you for your post. It does help remind me (and hopefully others) to look past the name and disability and find out more about these extraordinary children and their hidden talents!

[meowsrus]

Originally Posted by Mom2kinzlover

Meow,

I SHOOK when i saw that picture!!!! OMG I hope everything will be Ok with the hand! OUCH!!!!!

Here in my "world" my dd has been THRILLED that this Snow white game is on. As with most female Auties, DD has a fascination with the disney princesses (yes, even at her age) and she had the computer taken away at 10pm because she could NOT stop searching for dwarf shoes and other items. It reminds her of Artes.

Today I had a downer moment. I was at the local grocery store and a woman shopping there must have been a substitute aide to my dd at some point. She reckognized me and I semi reckognized her. She said "Hi! I worked with your daughter (name) before! She's the Autistic one!"

I said "Well, she's also the one who has brown hair, loves to sing and wants to be a Rockette some day..."

The lady just stayed silent and walked away. It was a reminder that dd is sometimes seen as a LABEL and not as a child. Maybe I'm just hormonal and oversensitive today.

We have been blessed with troop leaders for Girl Scouts, that don't necessarity 'get' everything, but at least try their best to and to make my daughter feel as much a part of the group as all of the other girls. She was supposed to bridge up this year, but we decided to hold her back from it and I was impressed that the leader was just fine with our decision. She is a touch chick and speaks her mid- always, but her toughness helps keep my daughter focused when she is there.

BTW I think you did JUST FINE!!!! We've had that- not with a teacher or sub, but another child. We were in Target when another child walked up to my daughter, pointed at her, and said "you're the girl who sits on the wall at recess with your hands over your ears screaming and crying for everyone to go away". I found who the child was with at the store and calmly (still can't believe I was calm- I was in a 'zone' trying to not yell at a child who was ignorant to my daughter's issues) explained to them that my daughter had a form of Autism and that she has spacial, temperature, sound, attention issues and if she was doing that , maybe she needed someone who would be willing to walk over and talk calmly to her and be a friend.

The girl was with her Grandmother and this lady was very nice and was upset at her granddaughter for being so 'vocal' in that way, but I said- hey the school won't allow any information to be given to the other kids, so I try to educate where I can. It isn't her fault she didn't know." The grandmother must have done some things with her becuase when my daughter sees that girl (in the grade below her) the girl always waves and says hi. I figure that is 1 child/adult down, only about 800 more to go

So you're not alone and no not being over-sensitive, you were GREAT!

[Freda72]

Hello my Friends and Hello Nice to Meet You to my New Friends

I am so so sorry for being away too long; I've missed you all so much. My husband had a stem cell transplant back on July 22 (he has multiple myeloma (blood/bone cancer)) but is in remission I learned alot about bone marrow transplants; the doctors were amazed that I was prepared with pen and notebook in hand; and actually had questions! I said well when you grow up with a special needs child in your family you are blessd in so many ways; 1 of them is question doctors I said, I have a brother who is autistic. Without giving his age or mine I said that we've gone thru 3 decades of hurdles with doctors/teachers/medicines .....etc Hubby's doctor laughed and said well I have my money cut out for me; I said of course! but, I should be able to be in more

During this few month journey with hubby; my brother was right by my side. He helped me alot; and drove me crazy alot; hehe Thank goodness for the family dog; Tippy She's listened well and even let me cry on her shoulder a few times; LOL (she's a springer spaniel/cocker spaniel mix about 68lbs the perfect size for hugging ) The cats listened; but usually fell asleep; hehe.

I found this poem that I'd like to share; when I found it I thought of all my friends here:

Heaven's Very Special Child

A meeting was held quite far from earth,
"It's time again for another birth."
Said the Angels to the Lord above,
"This special child will need much love."
His progress may seem very slow,
Accomplishments he may not show;
And he'll require extra care
From the folks he meets down there.
He may not run or laugh or play.
His thoughts may seem quite far away.
In many ways he won't adapt,
And he'll be known as handicapped.
So let's be careful where he's sent;
We want his life to be content.
Please, Lord, find the Parents who
Will do a special job for You.
They will not realize it right away
The leading role they're asked to play.
But with this child sent from above
Comes stronger faith and richer love.
And soon they'll know the privilege given
In caring for this gift from heaven.
Their precious charge, so meek and mild
Is Heaven's Very Special Child.

I was looking up silly jokes on the web for a friend's daughter (she loves jokes and is always telling them ) when I came across this poem. After I cleared away the tears and my eyes re-focused; I stopped and reflected on the journey I've been on with my brother. My path led me down happy; sad; aggreviated; the "I've had enough" ...etc paths; and I thought I would not have it any other way. If there was one person in this life that has taught me more and has made an impact on my life it would be my brother. Both my sister and I always said that when we got married that our brother would give us away. When I got married I was proud as I could be when my brother walked me down the aisle (my stepdad too ). I loved that the photographer took a picture of my brother kissing my cheek right after the minister asked, "who gives this woman to be married to this man."

My friends, I hope that your day is wonderful

I have to sign off for a little bit; I'll be back soon

Sending lots of HUGS and PRAYERS!!

[Electrabuzz1]

Originally Posted by meowsrus

Hello Meows!!

OMG that is horrible!! Honestly, you guys have the worst luck!! Throw away the lottery tickets - there is just no point. I have no idea how you got so lucky with the Webkinz machine in Grove City. I am going to mail you the lucky coin that you gave me in Grove City. I think you need it more than I do.

But then again, things have been going pretty well for us so I am not sure that I want to part with it. Maybe when I am there in November I can pick you up your own lucky coin and mail it to you!!

We are feeling much better here but it was a rough couple of weeks. This is a long weekend for us here in Canada (Thanksgiving) so hopefully we will all get lots of rest and fresh air - and turkey!

Originally Posted by Mom2kinzlover

Here in my "world" my dd has been THRILLED that this Snow white game is on. As with most female Auties, DD has a fascination with the disney princesses (yes, even at her age) and she had the computer taken away at 10pm because she could NOT stop searching for dwarf shoes and other items. It reminds her of Artes.

Today I had a downer moment. I was at the local grocery store and a woman shopping there must have been a substitute aide to my dd at some point. She recognized me and I semi recognized her. She said "Hi! I worked with your daughter (name) before! She's the Autistic one!"

I said "Well, she's also the one who has brown hair, loves to sing and wants to be a Rockette some day..."

The lady just stayed silent and walked away. It was a reminder that dd is sometimes seen as a LABEL and not as a child. Maybe I'm just hormonal and oversensitive today.

My son has not noticed the Snow White game, but I have!! I need someone to take my computer away at 10PM and send me to bed!!

I am sorry to read about what happened in the supermarky. I do not think you were being oversensitive but if you were I am sure you have earned the right. We are always having to stand up for our children. It is progammed in us. Good for you for calling it to this women's attention that while your daughter may be Autistic, that is just a diagnosis, and not who she is!!

Originally Posted by meowsrus

The girl was with her Grandmother and this lady was very nice and was upset at her granddaughter for being so 'vocal' in that way, but I said- hey the school won't allow any information to be given to the other kids, so I try to educate where I can. It isn't her fault she didn't know." The grandmother must have done some things with her becuase when my daughter sees that girl (in the grade below her) the girl always waves and says hi. I figure that is 1 child/adult down, only about 800 more to go

So you're not alone and no not being over-sensitive, you were GREAT!

If each of us effects a number of people in our day to day lives, they will effect others. See, we are making a difference!!

Originally Posted by Freda72

Hello my Friends and Hello Nice to Meet You to my New Friends

I am so so sorry for being away too long; I've missed you all so much. My husband had a stem cell transplant back on July 22 (he has multiple myeloma (blood/bone cancer)) but is in remission I learned alot about bone marrow transplants; the doctors were amazed that I was prepared with pen and notebook in hand; and actually had questions! I said well when you grow up with a special needs child in your family you are blessd in so many ways; 1 of them is question doctors I said, I have a brother who is autistic. Without giving his age or mine I said that we've gone thru 3 decades of hurdles with doctors/teachers/medicines .....etc Hubby's doctor laughed and said well I have my money cut out for me; I said of course! but, I should be able to be in more

During this few month journey with hubby; my brother was right by my side. He helped me alot; and drove me crazy alot; hehe Thank goodness for the family dog; Tippy She's listened well and even let me cry on her shoulder a few times; LOL (she's a springer spaniel/cocker spaniel mix about 68lbs the perfect size for hugging ) The cats listened; but usually fell asleep; hehe.

I found this poem that I'd like to share; when I found it I thought of all my friends here:

Heaven's Very Special Child

A meeting was held quite far from earth,
"It's time again for another birth."
Said the Angels to the Lord above,
"This special child will need much love."
His progress may seem very slow,
Accomplishments he may not show;
And he'll require extra care
From the folks he meets down there.
He may not run or laugh or play.
His thoughts may seem quite far away.
In many ways he won't adapt,
And he'll be known as handicapped.
So let's be careful where he's sent;
We want his life to be content.
Please, Lord, find the Parents who
Will do a special job for You.
They will not realize it right away
The leading role they're asked to play.
But with this child sent from above
Comes stronger faith and richer love.
And soon they'll know the privilege given
In caring for this gift from heaven.
Their precious charge, so meek and mild
Is Heaven's Very Special Child.

I was looking up silly jokes on the web for a friend's daughter (she loves jokes and is always telling them ) when I came across this poem. After I cleared away the tears and my eyes re-focused; I stopped and reflected on the journey I've been on with my brother. My path led me down happy; sad; aggreviated; the "I've had enough" ...etc paths; and I thought I would not have it any other way. If there was one person in this life that has taught me more and has made an impact on my life it would be my brother. Both my sister and I always said that when we got married that our brother would give us away. When I got married I was proud as I could be when my brother walked me down the aisle (my stepdad too ). I loved that the photographer took a picture of my brother kissing my cheek right after the minister asked, "who gives this woman to be married to this man."

My friends, I hope that your day is wonderful

I have to sign off for a little bit; I'll be back soon

Sending lots of HUGS and PRAYERS!!

Freda, I cannot tell you how thrilled I was to see that you had posted here today!! It has been so long and I am hoping that this is a sign that things have gotten much better for you and for your husband!!

You are such a trooper and I know how difficult the last months have been for you. You are such an inspiration with your positive attitude. I am interested to hear that you brither has been such a support to you. We all know how difficult emotions can be for people with Autism. I would have thought that in a similar instance my son would deal with it poorly. But, who knows? Everyday is a learning experience full of surprises.

That poem is just beautiful!! There will not be a dry eye here reading it.

I love hearing about your relationship with your brother. You have already been through all of what we are just experiencing so I truely value your voice of experience. I can only hope that my younger son will be half as good a sibling as you are to your brother.

Tell your Hubbie stay strong and I am thrilled that he is doing so well!!

_____________________________________________________________

Check this out everyone! I was banned from KinzChat+ today:

http://www.webkinzinsider.com/forum/...l#post16711814

[LittleDog]

Originally Posted by Freda72

Hello my Friends and Hello Nice to Meet You to my New Friends


Heaven's Very Special Child

A meeting was held quite far from earth,
"It's time again for another birth."
Said the Angels to the Lord above,
"This special child will need much love."
His progress may seem very slow,
Accomplishments he may not show;
And he'll require extra care
From the folks he meets down there.
He may not run or laugh or play.
His thoughts may seem quite far away.
In many ways he won't adapt,
And he'll be known as handicapped.
So let's be careful where he's sent;
We want his life to be content.
Please, Lord, find the Parents who
Will do a special job for You.
They will not realize it right away
The leading role they're asked to play.
But with this child sent from above
Comes stronger faith and richer love.
And soon they'll know the privilege given
In caring for this gift from heaven.
Their precious charge, so meek and mild
Is Heaven's Very Special Child.

What a wonderful poem...it just gave me goosebumps!

I have to "WAH WAH" for a bit. I am now stuck supervising other therapists for bout 25% or more of my time, and it is driving me crazy! These last few months...I have had it up to infinity and beyond listening as to why they can't/won't do things. If they just let that go and quit complaining they would be of better service than stalling and avoiding helping someone out. They just won't take responsibility; that if something is not working that YOU need to change YOUR INPUT....kids are just reacting to the stimulus YOU are presenting. All of you on here that get sooooo much crud....about "having to have time to attend to your child"... I can almost guarantee that, that caregiver is complaining more than they are doing. (Sorry, rant over.)

Forgot to add...Is everyone able to get their Snow Whites?