Parents Addicted to Webkinz

[RainbowRose]

Originally Posted by Queen of Sheba

Okay, Rainbow Rose..... not only do we like similar games, but we have a similar hobby! I did exactly the same thing from girlhood on up. You didn't mention if you add color to your room or furniture paper pieces, but I used to do that also. Maybe some of you who had this hobby have used it in real life to make money in some way. If so, I'd love to hear your story. I've often wondered if some of the "games" I played as a child could translate into the adult world.

To use a phrase of the younger generation, OMG!

My house maps and furniture pieces are purly functional.
If the dresser is 36 in by 18 in then you get a to scale rectangle out of graph paper with a lable that says "mom's small dresser" or what ever.

Hey, did you enter my contest yet or are you not into contests, just games?

Any other geeky types making blueprints for fun?

[Queen of Sheba]

Originally Posted by RainbowRose

To use a phrase of the younger generation, OMG!

My house maps and furniture pieces are purly functional.
If the dresser is 36 in by 18 in then you get a to scale rectangle out of graph paper with a lable that says "mom's small dresser" or what ever. EXACTLY what I did, and still do!

Hey, did you enter my contest yet or are you not into contests, just games? I prefer games, especially when I'm really busy. Although I do participate in a few WI contests. This week I had to prepare budget for non-profit organization I'm involved in & also go to sporting events (out-of-town) for my children! It has been a long week!

Any other geeky types making blueprints for fun?

Teal print above is Queen of Sheba! Goodnight, Rainbow Rose!

[fvb]

LOL!!! I've done the floor plan stuff too since I was younger.
I fell in love with drafting in highschool and managed to complete one year of Architecture. Unfortunately, it was very tough going in the progam, very few girls and the teachers tended to grade us differently then the males in the class. So after taking a year off I switched to Interior Design, graduated but there weren't many jobs available and the stress was just too much, so I only do it for family now.

[MamaDragon3]

Very frustrated with my kids right now--help!! Feeling like a bad mom...

I have 3 kids each 2 years apart. All are in school all day, and this is the first year I've been home by myself (it would have been last year, but I homeschooled last year). So, anyway, I've come to really enjoy the peace and quiet I've found during the daytime. I can do my Webkinz stuff, shop on eBay, catch up on e-mails, do the bills, laundry, etc. with no one stopping me every 2 seconds to ask a question. It's so nice, and I get more done when they are not here. I also feel that I'm finally able to enjoy things I want to do, and not have to worry about everyone else. Lately, though, I've found that in the afternoons after school and on weekends, I seem to have a very short temper with them. I encourage them to go outside and play with friends as much as possible because I don't care to hear them constantly fighting and causing trouble for each other.

I was an only child, never shared a room until I got to college and hated it so much that I moved off-campus as soon as I could into my own apartment. My husband is the only one I've ever been able to live with for a long period, and after we'd lived together for a year with no problems, I knew he was the one for me. He claims that the fighting is normal, and he is one of 4 kids himself. It drives me bonkers, though, and I'm not enjoying my kids as much anymore. I'm feeling like a bad mom for having these feelings & thoughts. Is this normal?

I've never been a very sentimental mom, I have never been one to cling or cry when they went off to kindergarten. I have always been the type to push them to be independent, to stand on their own feet (but always let them know I was there if needed). I just don't know if this is just a phase, or if now that they are growing up, developing their own personalities, and not needing me as much anymore it's just a normal "weaning" process? Or, am I just being protective of the "me" time I've come to value--and if so, is that a bad thing?

Help!

[curiousg]

You sound just fine to me MamaDragon. Trust your instincts.

My kids are really grouchy when they get home from school, more so than at any other time of the day.

[mimzysmom]

mamadragon, I am the same way. If I do not get quiet time during the day, I am a cranky person. I have 4 kids. I have learned to carve out "me" time. The kids know to not bug me. They are old enough to know when I tell them to find a quiet activity, and old enough for me to take away a privilige and send them to their room if they do not respect my need for quiet. I give myself a certain amount of time, trying to be reasonable, depending on the scedule of the day. And then when it is up, the kids have my attention. But they still need to respect the need to maintain a healthy atmosphere in the home. No screaming. No treating each other poorly. I found that when they were not able to behave, they were overtired and needed a rest or earlier bedtime. The same rule goes for momma as well.

[Queen of Sheba]

Mama Dragon - all the arguing and causing trouble should be viewed as teaching opportunities. You have the privilege of teaching your children proper behavior. Sometimes kids do this for attention, sometimes because they don't know how to work out their problems. I remember my parents telling me that sometimes you have to tell your children over and over again (100 times +) the same thing, but not to raise my voice or to get angry, but to calmly repeat the instruction. Sometimes I think it is appropriate to change the scenery as you have been doing, but sometimes the problems need to be faced and dealt with. You are the best judge of that (or get your husband's opinion, if you are not sure).

It is normal to feel at times that you are a bad parent. I know that I feel that way at times, but it is important to NOT believe it!

I think the key to good parenting is LOVE. I try to find ways to connect with my kids by sharing similar hobbies, or music, or whatever our common interests are. If I don't know of any common interests I try to find something that I can somehow relate with. Sometimes LOVE can mean saying no, or defining the boundaries.

It is important to have quiet time, and I know that what you described at the end (about being protective of "me" time) is sometimes how I feel about my time. I have to remember that my children & husband belong in my home, too. So when they are around I have to be willing to give up "me" time and focus on them.

I know you are new here, so I'll tell you that I'm a mom of five, one out of college, two in college, and two at home. I homeschool which means "my time" is often with others around. But as they have gotten older the conflicts haven't been as difficult as when they were younger. I remember the days of constant bickering (not all of them were like that) and days when I felt as though I were at the end of my rope. Conflict happens in families. Sometimes kids need to learn to work it out between themselves and sometimes intervention by a parent is needed. I usually tried to change one thing at a time. For example, I absolutely hate whiny voices and I DID not "hear" children that talked to me with a whine. I would say something like this, "I hear someone talking but I do not hear a polite voice." I would patiently repeat it over and over until I had success. Sometimes I had to use creative solutions to overcome problems that seemed unsolvable and sometimes I gave myself a "time out" and went to my bedroom to cry & pray.
Supportive friends help, too!

I heard a mom screaming at her children in the parking lot the other day. One or two of them had stepped on recently purchased loaves of bread. I totally understand where that mom is at, yet it sounded so ugly and hurtful. Bread is replaceable, childrens' hearts are not. It made me think of all the times that I yelled at my kids and wounded them. It is at times like these that I have regrets about certain situations, yet another thing to remember is that it is okay to say "I'm sorry" to your kids. I've had to do it many times.

I hope this is helpful and doesn't come across as too "preachy". I don't mean it that way at all.
Hang in there!

[mimzysmom]

great answer queen of sheba. I also do not allow the whiny voice in my house. I speak to my children in a respectful tone, and expect the same from them. I do hear parents though that do not speak to their children in a polite tone, but then reprimand the kids if they are rude. An example is the best lesson there is. That is why I do not feel like a failure whn i find I am in a place where I am telling them I am sorry about something. I am a human, and forgiveness is a great gift to give another person.

[Queen of Sheba]

Thanks, Mimzysmom! It was rather a long answer, but that is what happens when I have quiet with no distractions around me!

Yesterday at church we had a special speaker who spoke on forgiveness. Near the end of his sermon he passed out which caused quite a commotion. We have several medical personnel in our congregation who immediately went into action. Meanwhile, when he revived (he was hidden behind the display on the podium), he shouted out "I'm sorry" and every one said "We forgive you" and laughed.

Another story on forgiveness - in a pre-school class that I teach I had one little boy push & hit another little boy. I had him say "I'm sorry" and then I asked the other boy to say that he forgives him. The little boy (victim) said, "I don't know how." I had him repeat the words "I forgive you." I think forgiveness is just as important as saying "I'm sorry."

Sometimes when I would have my own children do this they would say "but I'm not really sorry."
I still had them go through the motions because saying I'm sorry & I forgive you is a choice not a feeling. However, my kids would tease me saying that I was teaching them to lie. I understood where they were coming from but.....

I like the thought of forgiveness being a gift. Thanks for sharing that, Mimzysmom.

[mimzysmom]

Thank you for sharing those stories qos. It makes me remember how I taught my children to say "I forgive you" to someone, not "It is ok". Because, what they did was not ok. They did something wrong, they should feel remorse. But you forgive them.

Totally off topic. For any of you who may have allergy problems. I bought an air purifier at Wal Mart the other day, not the fancy pants $160 model, but the $88 model. And it is already making the air quality in my house so much nicer! Now I am dreaming of a house with a central HEPA air conditioner. ahhhhh . . . . .