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 11-12-2009, 08:02 PM | #1151 | Webkinz :) Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 41 |  Re: Children with Special Needs and Webkinz
we should all give hugs to meows. *hugs* Hope u get thru this! I am a teen w autism and have been verbally abused by teachers thank goodness not physically. I cant say i now how you feel, but have a pretty good idea. Take care of ur shoulder! Ur in my prayers. message me if u feel like. more *hugs*. U can do this! |   |  |
| 11-14-2009, 12:47 AM | #1152 | Gifted Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 1,277 | Re: Children with Special Needs and Webkinz
Hello again, everyone! I don't know why I always leave this thread for so long - I can't miss reading a post, so now I'm trying to catch up while posting a novel of my last few weeks. I haven't been on since Halloween - my kids were Spiderman and a doctor. I painted my son's face since he wasn't allowed to wear the mask to school, and he did well with it. Halloween was good - we spent a lot of time out, then I spent Sunday with the family and doing last minute packing.
Monday I started vacation - packed up the kids and took them to see my dad in SC. I drove from NJ to NC (9 hours), spent the night with my best friend who moved there in Feb, and then Tues drove the rest of the trip. They were GREAT in the car, considering the long drive. It's amazing what a DS, leapster, music, DVD player, tons of snacks, cars, and coloring books will do to entertain.  We went to an aquarium and a restaurant designed to look like you were outdoors (complete with ice cream truck - with free ice cream inside). They had a blast. It was good to see dad and grandma, even though we had a few minor issues during the week. He tries, but I guess kids aren't his strong point. I spent a lot of time saying "dad, we can't leave till they're strapped into their seats. Dad, you can't take just one of them to walmart and not the other. Dad, you can't mention chuck e cheese and not go. Dad, you *really* can't ask if they want to go to McD's just because you're driving past and you know they're full. They'll want to go anyway". Okay - apparently brains and common sense are 2 entirely different things, huh? Friday I left, stopped at my friend's in NC again, and spent the night to drive home Saturday. I felt a huge sense of accomplishment to take 2 small kids on such a big trip by myself. I knew they could do it, but I proved it to everyone.
This week is back to reality. I really hit the ground running with appointments - dr, dentist, speech therapy, speech eval, etc. Are you bored reading my novel yet? I mentioned in the past that insurance is denying my son's speech. So I took him for his evaluation yesterday (moved up from January). I was there almost 3 hours, and although she mentioned a few times that he was getting distracted (duh, he's a pre-schooler, and you're testing him in a small room with no toys for longer than his average school day, what do you expect), he did well. Unfortunately, she told me up front that she feels apraxia is rare, and "diagnoses conservatively". Not what I wanted to hear - especially since he's received the dx from multiple speech therapists and a neurologist. By the end, she admitted that he has a (significant or severe - don't remember which) articulation delay, and a neuro based motor planning disorder (that's what apraxia is, why can't she admit it?!), and that she will definitely strongly recommend that he receives the same level of therapy that the school is giving him, as well as continued private therapy, with mention that it's neuro in nature, not developmental. Hopefully, this will be the key to the insurance company.
Of course, I can think of more to add, but 1> I need to read everyone's posts, and 2> I need to stop typing before the computer randomly boots me off and I have to retype this. Thanks for listening.
 Originally Posted by Electrabuzz1 Books are a great idea. The Dr. Seuss books are always fun and treasured. You could give a new one each special occasion!! My boys still love to read them. Heck, I still love to read them. I wonder how many times in my life I have read Green Eggs and Ham.
The nice thing about books is you can personalize them by writing something inside the front cover about why this child is special to you!!
Funny story about it. When I was pregnant with DD, it was Christmas and my sis-in-law gave me a little book called "baby oh baby, the places you'll go" - it's based on Seuss and mentions a lot of his characters in rhyme. I opened it, and said how cool it was because I love Seuss (yes, I was 24 then and loved Seuss). Wouldn't you know - the next gift was 4 Seuss books from my husband. I pretend that the books all belong to the kids, but they're still all kept on the "you can only touch when mommy is with you" shelf.
Last edited by RiddleMeThis; 11-14-2009 at 12:47 AM.. | | | |
| 11-16-2009, 08:12 PM | #1153 | Autism Awareness!! Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 36,155 | Re: Children with Special Needs and Webkinz
Originally Posted by PaperButterfly Once again, been more of a lurker than poster. (Sorry tribbles – duck tape helped but didn’t resolve the issue) I’ve been the one struggling instead of DS though. Long story, short - I have struggled with depression most of my teenage and adult life and have had more or a difficult time this year than most. Been on and off meds along, now permanently on per doctor, which helps greatly but still not completely. I seem to go in cycles and this is just been my bad year, and just haven’t had the emotional stamina or fortitude for posting.
Originally Posted by PaperButterfly DS is doing OK. For those of you I’ve not met, DS is my preschooler with Down Syndrome with severe GI and feeding issues and hypotonia (low tone). DS has mostly refused to talk in school this year and had decided to have his permanent teeth come in about a year early and not push out his baby teeth. The dentist wants to wait until January to see how many permanent teeth come in and if they will at all push out any of the baby teeth before deciding if we need to extract any baby teeth. So we’re on a “Tooth Wiggling Routine.” Luckily DS doesn’t seem to mind this, but it’s causing all those teething problems and waking up in the middle of the night again. Any one have this problem and any advice?
Originally Posted by PaperButterfly On a Webkinz front, I did break down and buy the Signature Cheetah, and Strawberry Clouded leopard and a Zummie since our Justice had there 40% off sale. So looking forward to registering all that. Anyone have any experience with the Zummies yet?
I find the Zummies incredibly boring. I do not know if I am missing something but I do nat have the patience for them. I can never get the past 70% and so far have only been able to afford two pieces of furniture. I would say the Zummie is a big bummer!
Take care of yourself Paperbutterfly. If you find you need to chat just send me a PM!!
Originally Posted by meowsrus Ms. Buzz- will be sending out a message directly to you later tonight or tomorrow morning- was on phone all day today and yesterday and I just need some rainbows.
Originally Posted by WebbieHyper we should all give hugs to meows. *hugs* Hope u get thru this! I am a teen w autism and have been verbally abused by teachers thank goodness not physically. I cant say i now how you feel, but have a pretty good idea. Take care of ur shoulder! Ur in my prayers. message me if u feel like. more *hugs*. U can do this!
Originally Posted by RiddleMeThis Monday I started vacation - packed up the kids and took them to see my dad in SC. I drove from NJ to NC (9 hours), spent the night with my best friend who moved there in Feb, and then Tues drove the rest of the trip. They were GREAT in the car, considering the long drive. It's amazing what a DS, leapster, music, DVD player, tons of snacks, cars, and coloring books will do to entertain. We went to an aquarium and a restaurant designed to look like you were outdoors (complete with ice cream truck - with free ice cream inside). They had a blast. It was good to see dad and grandma, even though we had a few minor issues during the week. He tries, but I guess kids aren't his strong point. I spent a lot of time saying "dad, we can't leave till they're strapped into their seats. Dad, you can't take just one of them to walmart and not the other. Dad, you can't mention chuck e cheese and not go. Dad, you *really* can't ask if they want to go to McD's just because you're driving past and you know they're full. They'll want to go anyway". Okay - apparently brains and common sense are 2 entirely different things, huh? Friday I left, stopped at my friend's in NC again, and spent the night to drive home Saturday. I felt a huge sense of accomplishment to take 2 small kids on such a big trip by myself. I knew they could do it, but I proved it to everyone.
This week is back to reality. I really hit the ground running with appointments - dr, dentist, speech therapy, speech eval, etc. Are you bored reading my novel yet? I mentioned in the past that insurance is denying my son's speech. So I took him for his evaluation yesterday (moved up from January). I was there almost 3 hours, and although she mentioned a few times that he was getting distracted (duh, he's a pre-schooler, and you're testing him in a small room with no toys for longer than his average school day, what do you expect), he did well. Unfortunately, she told me up front that she feels apraxia is rare, and "diagnoses conservatively". Not what I wanted to hear - especially since he's received the dx from multiple speech therapists and a neurologist. By the end, she admitted that he has a (significant or severe - don't remember which) articulation delay, and a neuro based motor planning disorder (that's what apraxia is, why can't she admit it?!), and that she will definitely strongly recommend that he receives the same level of therapy that the school is giving him, as well as continued private therapy, with mention that it's neuro in nature, not developmental. Hopefully, this will be the key to the insurance company.
Sounds like good news on the speech front. I hope that you are able to get the help (money) you need! I have often found that the doctors running these tests are ill prepared for children. My DS has an opthamologist that does the letter eye chart for my sone every 3 months. My son cannot read. I keep saying to him "maybe he does not know what the letter is" "can you not do objects?". They just do not get it. I swear they are using the same eye charts as 40 years ago as well. When I do convince him to do objects he puts up these black and white drawings that I barely recognize!
Last edited by Electrabuzz1; 11-16-2009 at 08:42 PM.. | | | |
| 11-16-2009, 09:25 PM | #1154 | ill make you feel Gifted Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 11,780 | Re: Children with Special Needs and Webkinz
Originally Posted by tribbles you are not going to believe what i just read. I have friends that has a kid with autism. he posted an link to fox news about a web browser for kids with autism to make surfing the web easier. Im going to post the link here because I feel some parents may want to look at the article. It may help with this browser to let your child safely search the net and build up there self esteem doing things on their own. I hope in some way this will help someone else here. Custom Web Browser Built for Autistic Boy - Science News | Science & Technology | Technology News - FOXNews.com
tribbles
Sorry I haven't been around much lately. I've been quite busy and I've been having a bit of trouble breathing! | | | |
| 11-17-2009, 12:29 AM | #1155 | A Meditating Gift Guru Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 2,590 | Re: Children with Special Needs and Webkinz
Wow, disappear for a few days and look at all of the new and familiar faces come on in!!!
Hello to all and good seein' ya!
Manh of you have gotten updates, but for those that haven't- things are going here with regards to my daughter and the school. My daughter still isn't sleeping at nights, we have found some help, but we have no idea what will happen. We are hoping that things with finally get resolved somehow, but it will not happen right away- more than likely with these yahoos it will take a good while because they think their kitty litter doesn't stink (and boy does it!).
I am thinking of you all often, but with so much to do to get ready for our first meeting on Wednesday (first of 3 in 7 days) and me having to take my daughter to the dr. tomorrow (which is over an hour away), I will not be on much for the rest of the week.
I hope that everyone is doing well and that I will get to talk with you all very soon. I miss getting to come in and I have even noticed that a few of my threads are now closed even. Wednesday's meeting won't tell us much, but Friday's hopefully will. Wednesday's will just take us almost 2 hours away talk and get info. Friday's will be here in town and will be more, um, shall we say... erratic. Yes, that is a good word for it. Then we are *supposed* to be having an IEP meeting on Monday, which THEY might try to postpone after this Friday's meeting about the 'incident "to get it out of the way so it doesn't cloud the issues of the IEP".
Um, ya. Naaaaa, nothing is going to do that. Let's see- violation after violation followed up with a big ol' helping of abuse. Nope, nothing to interfere with the IEP.
A good note though. Tomorrow is book fair for my younger one at school, so I am hoping she comes home with books instead of junk. She missed out on 'preview day' with her class because she was at gifted class and no one thought to send her down to see what books were there because each teacher thought the other did it. LOL She'll get time with her class tomorrow so I'm not worried about her getting to look around, only that she will take the 'easy' way out and buy junk! LOL Too bad they don't sell Webkinz at book fair!!
I will update with news when I can and be well everyone | | | |
| 11-18-2009, 11:35 PM | #1156 | aseals2 Gift Guru Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 2,408 | Re: Children with Special Needs and Webkinz
Hi, all. I know I've been AWOL like meowsrus, but I've had my share of it lately too. My problem has been my own son, though.
He has it in his mind right now that he can do what he wants, when he wants and rules don't apply to him. He tells his teachers to "shut up", he ran away from the Assistant Principal today (and OUT of the building), every time I tell him something, he says "but..." then proceeds to argue. He had a "hit list" against his teachers, in essays he writes about shooting people and blowing things up, he says things like "the teachers will pay for this."
We are seeing a social worker who works solely with families of autistic children, and she tries to give him techniques to help him calm down and make better choices. She also explains to him how teachers and parents are preparing him for adulthood. He continues to make bad choices, especially saying inappropriate things (threats) and throwing books/pencils/papers. When she asked him why, he never had an answer. If this continues I see him getting expelled from school, regardless of his IEP and the staff's endless patience.
I am lost and at my wit's end. He spent HOURS last night arguing with me and yelling at me about anything and everything. I lost it briefly twice. I am exhausted and mentally drained. The good news is that I have not been called in to work this week and most of my laundry is finally done.
I just keep trying to figure out what I am missing. When did my son turn into Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? One minute he's "Mother, can you help me?" and the next he's a shrieking, stomping little monster. Even his resource teacher said his triggers seem to be inconsistent and ever-changing.
Any advice on this one? I know I can't duct tape him to his bed for the rest of his life, but it sure is tempting... | | | |
| 11-19-2009, 07:16 AM | #1157 | Autism Awareness!! Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 36,155 | Re: Children with Special Needs and Webkinz
Originally Posted by carmel_mom Hi, all. I know I've been AWOL like meowsrus, but I've had my share of it lately too. My problem has been my own son, though.
He has it in his mind right now that he can do what he wants, when he wants and rules don't apply to him. He tells his teachers to "shut up", he ran away from the Assistant Principal today (and OUT of the building), every time I tell him something, he says "but..." then proceeds to argue. He had a "hit list" against his teachers, in essays he writes about shooting people and blowing things up, he says things like "the teachers will pay for this."
We are seeing a social worker who works solely with families of autistic children, and she tries to give him techniques to help him calm down and make better choices. She also explains to him how teachers and parents are preparing him for adulthood. He continues to make bad choices, especially saying inappropriate things (threats) and throwing books/pencils/papers. When she asked him why, he never had an answer. If this continues I see him getting expelled from school, regardless of his IEP and the staff's endless patience.
I am lost and at my wit's end. He spent HOURS last night arguing with me and yelling at me about anything and everything. I lost it briefly twice. I am exhausted and mentally drained. The good news is that I have not been called in to work this week and most of my laundry is finally done.
I just keep trying to figure out what I am missing. When did my son turn into Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? One minute he's "Mother, can you help me?" and the next he's a shrieking, stomping little monster. Even his resource teacher said his triggers seem to be inconsistent and ever-changing.
Any advice on this one? I know I can't duct tape him to his bed for the rest of his life, but it sure is tempting...
I an so sorry about this issue for you. Raising our children can be filled with such frustration. They can absolutely drive us to the brink. The things they do and say are so hard to understand and seem so completely out of our control. The frustrating part is that there are no answers!!!!
My son has many of the same behaviours and issues as your son. Not to the same degree but this may be because I am pretty sure he is younger. His answer to so many things seems to be that he can do whatever he wants. When we ask him not to behave in a certain way he will often respond "I can if I want to!!" It may be something as simple as not slamming the car door with extreme, excessive force. We will say "DS, please do not slam the door so hard", and his response will be a very loud, defiant "I WANT TOO"! This may seem like a small thing to others but after the 500th time this has happened it is frustrating!! He has destroyed the trim around his door. We have already replaced it once and it needs to be replaced again. This is over two hundred dollars and is just one of the many things he has broken because "HE WANTS TOO"!
I can tell the second he gets off the school bus when we are all in for a bad night. He will just reek of this "I can do what ever I want too" attitude. He will pick at and bother his brother constantly. You literally have to shadow him everywhere or he will get himself into trouble. As soon as he knows I am not looking he is up to something. God forbid I got to the bathroom or try to make dinner. He will push and push until you end up angry and frustrated with him. Then when you finally get yourself to bed you cannot sleep because you feel bad that you did not have the patience required to be the "right" parent for your child.
My friends are always telling me how much they admire me and what an amazing parent I am. I do not feel like an amazing parent. I feel like a farce.
Other days he can be so sweet and accommodating! It is sooooo confusing.
Sorry CarmelMom. I do not have the answers but I can certainly commiserate if that helps at all!! | | | |
| 11-19-2009, 08:58 AM | #1158 | The hippie writer Gift Guru Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 7,423 | Re: Children with Special Needs and Webkinz
Careml_mom, sorry about what you're going through, hugs! Maybe you could ask Melethana for some insight into his behavoir. She's an adult with autisim and might be able to understand.
Meows, same to you, hugs! I hope it all works out. You said you were considering cyberschool, so if you have any questions about homeschooling/cyberschooling, visit the homeschoolers club, we'd love to answer any questions. Link: http://www.webkinzinsider.com/forum/f236/home-school-club-come-here-home-500190/
Last edited by Ivie; 11-19-2009 at 09:01 AM.. | | | |
| 11-19-2009, 09:01 AM | #1159 | aseals2 Gift Guru Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 2,408 | Re: Children with Special Needs and Webkinz
Thanks, Electrabuzz1. It's nice to know I am not alone.
I emailed my cousin last night too, whose son is similar to mine but a few years older. She didn't have anything encouraging to offer.
So last night, I went through alot of autism forums, looking at medications that might help, thinking maybe it was time to change his. Then I thought, "What about his discipline system?" I dug the book out of a pile of papers and started re-reading it. I decided this morning to follow the discipline system to the letter and see what happened. This morning, the boy that got on the bus was well-mannered and marvelous.
For anyone who wants to look into it, it is called the Nurtured Heart Approach. The book is titled "Transforming the Difficult Child" by Howard Glasser and Jennifer Easley. It is a positive based reward system. That may sound like something we have all tried, but when I'M focused on this system, it works perfectly. The general basis is catch them being good AND praise them for it. Only give your energy to the POSITIVE. Negative behaviors receive a brief, objective timeout with no emotion from you. (I'm over-simplifying it here. The book has excellent detail.) The system works just as well for my neurotypical (and too smart for her own good) daughter.
I will say that the book can be a hard read. The authors seem to go in circles with examples and metaphors, but once I got through the entire book and started implementing it, it really worked well. This morning, I praised my son for everything he did right. He, in turn, used great manners and never needed a timeout. He didn't break a single rule.
I still need to finish tweaking a few rules and the points he earns, but this morning was a complete change from the way the week has been going. I think I might get a few peaceful hours of rest now.
Thanks, as always, for letting me vent. You are all WONDERFUL! | | | |
| 11-19-2009, 04:36 PM | #1160 | WW ID = melethana Gifted Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 2,503 | Re: Children with Special Needs and Webkinz
Originally Posted by Ivie Careml_mom, sorry about what you're going through, hugs! Maybe you could ask Melethana for some insight into his behavoir. She's an adult with autisim and might be able to understand.
Originally Posted by carmel_mom Thanks, Electrabuzz1. It's nice to know I am not alone.
I emailed my cousin last night too, whose son is similar to mine but a few years older. She didn't have anything encouraging to offer.
So last night, I went through alot of autism forums, looking at medications that might help, thinking maybe it was time to change his. Then I thought, "What about his discipline system?" I dug the book out of a pile of papers and started re-reading it. I decided this morning to follow the discipline system to the letter and see what happened. This morning, the boy that got on the bus was well-mannered and marvelous.
I've always tended to internalize my feelings, and focus inward. I did engage in door slamming 2 or 3 times, but by that time I was a teenager. I think even neurotypical teens will slam doors occasionally. I like that word "neurotypical" much better than "normal" I'm not abnormal, I'm just atypical!
I never really thought about acting out violence against others, it just never occurred to me. The only theory I could offer about the "I can because I want to" attitude is the feeling that other people don't count. Not now so much anymore, but when I was going through ****rty, I would often get this feeling that my life wasn't real, but just a movie I was watching, or a book written by someone else. (Not all that odd with Asperger's Syndrome) And since my life wasn't really real, people weren't really real either. It didn't matter what a character in a movie said, so why should it matter what people said? But rather than acting out against people, I just withdrew and ignored them.
Last edited by melethana; 11-19-2009 at 04:36 PM.. | | | |
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