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Old 04-23-2008, 09:52 PM   #21
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Default Re: ♥Chronicles of Love~ Greystar and Spottedtail♥ Chapter 2 Added!

Aww, thanklez!
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Old 04-23-2008, 10:07 PM   #22
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Default Re: ♥Chronicles of Love~ Greystar and Spottedtail♥ Chapter 2 Added!

BTW I caught a few mistakes.

Sitting in the entrance together, tails intwined, the two cats talked of many things. They talked of the last war, how it felt to loose their families, and about the future. Once at an akward silence, Spottedtail reached out to put his muzzle to Greystar's. She purred, then stopped herself, jerking away. "Not yet dear one,'' she whispered into his ear, standing up. "No one would understand our feelings. They'd think I chose you to be deputy because I love you. We must think things over before..." she never finished the sentence, she simply turned and stalked back to her den, leaving Spottedtail staring after her, amber eyes gleaming.

Akward is spelled Awkward.

Also, the word "lookes". Either you meant looks or looked.

Just outside of camp, Petalnose was sorting a messy pile of leaves while grumbling under her breath. Greystar caught the words, "Kits...mess...punish..." She lookes to Spottedtail, then removed her tail from his. Trotting over to the fuming she-cat, she wondered what Petalnose would think when she heard the news. "What's the matter with you now?" She asked teasingly. Petalnose's head shot up, eyes flashing. "A bunch of those mouse-brained kits got into my herb supply and ruin-" she stopped mid-sentence. Seeing the happy far off look in Greystar's eyes, she knew. "Go on back to camp Greystar, we can talk later."

Hope I helped!
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Old 04-24-2008, 04:23 PM   #23
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Default Re: ♥Chronicles of Love~ Greystar and Spottedtail♥ Chapter 2 Added!

Oh, thanks. I'll have to go back and fix those when I get the time...
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Old 04-25-2008, 05:22 PM   #24
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Default Re: ♥Chronicles of Love~ Greystar and Spottedtail♥ Chapter 2 Added!

Update: I will be adding more this weekend!
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Old 04-25-2008, 05:54 PM   #25
Call me Wormtail! xD
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Default Re: ♥Chronicles of Love~ Greystar and Spottedtail♥ Chapter 2 Added!

HPF!!! *runs into wall*
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Old 04-25-2008, 07:36 PM   #26
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Default Re: ♥Chronicles of Love~ Greystar and Spottedtail♥ Chapter 2 Added!

Yay! I can't wait to read more!
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Old 04-25-2008, 11:22 PM   #27
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Default Re: ♥Chronicles of Love~ Greystar and Spottedtail♥ Chapter 2 Added!

More! More! More! Please?
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Old 04-28-2008, 08:12 PM   #28
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Default Re: Chronicles of Love~ --Finally Updated--

UPDATED!!!
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Old 04-28-2008, 08:14 PM   #29
Call me Wormtail! xD
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Default Re: Chronicles of Love~ --Finally Updated--

YAY! *claps hands* Two new parts!
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Old 04-28-2008, 08:44 PM   #30
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Default Re: Chronicles of Love~ --Finally Updated--

Oooh! More please!
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