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Old 06-12-2012, 05:12 PM   #1
sweetblueberry365
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Default The Warriors: A forbiden clan. They thought there was only 4, there is more. NEW CATS AND CLANS!

The Warriors: A forbiden clan

Cats
(List of cats will be posted sorry!)

CLANS!
Iceclan
Floodclan
Lightningclan
Fireclan


Chapter 1: Painful thoughts
Scene: Iceclan, whitehead is watching the apprentices spar.
Tigerflight has no partner and does not want to spar, he trots to the stream we're no one can see him.

Tigerflight looked at the rock that was layed in front of him, he found a bigger rock and rolled it by the smaller rock and sighed.
Tigerflight looked and thought about that one day when he made the biggest mistake and it seemed to haunt him so it was always in and stuck in his mind. He thought and always believed HE was the reason that he is alone he always thought he was the criminal.
He had a flashback that left tears in his eyes. He was just a wee tiny kit, yet he was curious. His mother and father brought him to the nearest stream which Tigerflight was at now. Then he forgot everything he feel asleep and woke up seeing his father jumping in the stream to save Tigerflight's mother and next thing Tigerflight knew he never saw his mother and father again. Tigerflight put his paws over his head and tried to hide his tears, even though he was emotional he wanted to look tough and manly. Tigerflight's teacher, Embereyes screamed for Tigerflight. Tigerflight left the stream and trotted to Embereyes.
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Old 06-12-2012, 11:21 PM   #2
littlerainstorm
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Default Re: The Warriors: A forbiden clan. They thought there was only 4, there is more. NEW CATS AND CLANS!

I haven't read Warriors so I don't much about the cats or clans or anything; I like the story though. Except for a few grammar and writing errors, it's good.
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Old 06-12-2012, 11:55 PM   #3
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Default Re: The Warriors: A forbiden clan. They thought there was only 4, there is more. NEW CATS AND CLANS!

Your story seems very fun, but maybe to improve sentence structure you could type up your story in a a document like wordpad or microsoft word and then copy and paste it? That way you can run a spell + grammar check beforehand to guarantee minimal errors and make reading more convenient.

Good luck!
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Old 06-13-2012, 12:35 PM   #4
sweetblueberry365
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Default Re: The Warriors: A forbiden clan. They thought there was only 4, there is more. NEW CATS AND CLANS!

yep always bad at grammer!
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Old 06-17-2012, 06:25 PM   #5
Call me Anna
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Default Re: The Warriors: A forbiden clan. They thought there was only 4, there is more. NEW CATS AND CLANS!

I don't think she should paste it from Microsoft Office Word, because sometimes that makes that words smashed together.
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