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Old 12-18-2010, 10:12 PM   #1
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Default A tiny bit of a story. . .

Well, I don't know what to call this story, or if I should go on writing it or not, but I kind of want to show off a tiny bit of a story. So here goes.
His massive jet black paws hit the ground so hard soil flies up from the field. I gaze at him longingly, his freedom in the fields, running so quickly, almost flying, it saddened me I never could. I was born with a terrible right leg, so I never could run like the other children. Walking was as close as I would ever get. The canine's eyes turn back to me, his dark brown eyes twinkling.
He soars like a bird back to me, probably sensing I was bummed out of the thought I couldn't run. Dogs can sense that, you know. His wet nose hits my worn out tennis shoe. I feel the hot tears coming along with the flashbacks of all the mean, rude children teasing me at that school today. Just because I was different. I kneel down and cry with his muzzle under my neck.
Yes, I haven't finished it, but I may later. Do you think I should go on with the story?
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Old 12-18-2010, 10:20 PM   #2
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Default Re: A tiny bit of a story. . .

I really like this. It looks like my tips worked Please write more!
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Old 12-19-2010, 09:45 AM   #3
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Default Re: A tiny bit of a story. . .

View Post Originally Posted by doglover9888
Well, I don't know what to call this story, or if I should go on writing it or not, but I kind of want to show off a tiny bit of a story. So here goes.
His massive jet black paws hit the ground so hard soil flies up from the field. I gaze at him longingly, his freedom in the fields, running so quickly, almost flying, it saddened me I never could. I was born with a terrible right leg, so I never could run like the other children. Walking was as close as I would ever get. The canine's eyes turn back to me, his dark brown eyes twinkling.
He soars like a bird back to me, probably sensing I was bummed out of the thought I couldn't run. Dogs can sense that, you know. His wet nose hits my worn out tennis shoe. I feel the hot tears coming along with the flashbacks of all the mean, rude children teasing me at that school today. Just because I was different. I kneel down and cry with his muzzle under my neck.
Yes, I haven't finished it, but I may later. Do you think I should go on with the story?
Oh my gosh DL, this short story is amazing! It's like what you would read on the back cover of a book, and then it makes you want to pick the book up and read more and more! Thank you so much for sharing it with us! Let me know if you add more to it! (I think you should!)

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Old 12-19-2010, 07:22 PM   #4
hy hello there.
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Default Re: A tiny bit of a story. . .

continue. CoNtInUe. CONTINUE! It's sooo good! (:
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