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Old 12-16-2007, 06:46 PM   #1
monkeytrouble277's Avatar
monkeytrouble277 will become famous soon enough

Default My story titled Him

I wrote a story but it's not that good.


Chapter 1
November chases its shadow around,
Around and around the wind blows faster,
Here we go again it whispers
November chased its shadow

Chapter 2: The Movies

I ran out the door as quick as a lightning bolt. Colette and I were going to go and see this really frightening movie everybody was talking about. Just thinking about the title (Stay Alive) made an army of shiver bugs march up and down my spine. It took us about 5 minutes to get to the IMAX theatre. I was getting the tickets when the young man in front of us said that he would pay for our tickets because I was drop- dead beautiful. I had dark blonde hair with brown highlights. I was tall and slender. Colette has dark brown hair (almost black) with natural blonde tints. She was a tiny bit shorter than me, but height doesn’t matter. I was staring dreamily at him, when a voice broke my thoughts. He said his name was Goodwin, a perfect name for him because his was a good man who is true to his heart and he liked winning until an accident occurred. We walked with him, but when we got to the snack stand he told us that he was in a car accident on the intersection of Main Street and Bethlahem’s Corner. Something in those street names sounded familiar. That was where Ma and Pa had been killed. We got our snacks and proceeded to the theatre. He said that there was a young couple crossing that street. The lady had looked just like me. They were crossing on a green light. Goodwin wasn’t paying attention and ran them over. He had felt a lump under his tires. The light turned red. Goodwin had gotten out of his ’54 convertible and looked under the rear tires. There under his tires was my Ma and Pa. He had been the killer of my parents. I got up and moved just before the movie began. 2 hours had passed and the movie was over. Colette got up and said that she had a great time. We left as the crowd rushed out. The movie was… okay, but thinking about what had really happened to my parents was out of the question. Was Goodwin going to do that terrible thing again? Should I be worried? When I got home I told Aunt Faye what had really happened to Ma and Pa. I told her Colette and I saw him at the movies. I wanted to turn him in, but my heart said yes and my head said no.

Chapter 3: My Confession
My birthday was right around the corner and I was Catholic. I had to confess. So I went to the church that day and I met up with the Priest.
“Brooke Lynn, are you ready for your confession?”
“Yes Priest Samuels.”
We entered the small room. A small screen covered his face so I couldn’t see him. I starting talking about Goodwin and what had actually happened to my parents. It felt so good to get that off my chest. But, the priest had total access to the information I gave him. I walked slowly home, thoughts racing my mind. Did I do the right thing? Should I have told him that? Yes, no, maybe so?
~ * ~

When I got home, I rushed right to Aunt Faye.
“Aunt Faye! Aunt Faye!” I yelled
“Brooke Lynn! Brooke Lynn!” she replied sarcastically.
I told her that I told the Priest about Goodwin. I told about everything that happened. I know, I know, that whole thing that when you say something you weren’t supposed to. You should have seen the look was on Aunt Faye’s face.
“Brooke Lynn, the priest can now turn Goodwin in and he can go to jail for that. You don’t want him to go to jail do you?” Aunt Faye replied in a firm voice.
“No, I don’t think so. No” I replied, now embarrassed.

It was late at night, so I had something to eat and went to bed. The scene of Goodwin running over my parents kept playing in my mind. It was not a good night for me. I woke up breathing heavily. I had a really bad dream. You know how my parents got ran over? Well in my dream, I got run over. Goodwin did it on purpose. He saw me walking across the street and revved the engine. I didn’t hear it because I was wearing head phones. He sped up and I got hit.

Chapter 4: Stuck
Now that I was up, I wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep. I took a quick shower and put my clothes on. I put my hair up and put my clip on I-pod on my sweat shirt. I walked in Aunt Faye’s room and kissed her on her head. I pulled my pink sneakers on and went out for a jog. I jogged around the park. I felt like I was stuck in reverse, like I couldn’t keep on moving on. I glanced at my watch. 7:50 AM, it read. I thought my favorite diner might be open so I walked home and grabbed 20 dollars out of my room. I took another shower because I got all sweaty, and then I changed. I grabbed a pink purse and I was gone.
“Brooke Lynn?” A voice traveled behind me.
I pivoted in place.
“Colette! It’s nice to see you!”
“Where are you going?”
“Just to the Seville. Where are you?”
“Me too,” She sounded… excited.
We finished our walk to the Seville. It wasn’t that far, but it was nice to have some company. Heads turned when we walked in.
“How many?” The waiter asked.
“Just us.”
He guided us to our table. I wasn’t that hungry. I was still in that stuck mode. I ordered an egg with toast, the same as Colette.

Chapter 5: Liar
When we got home, Colette automatically flopped down on my king-sized bed. She sat there for one minute with her ‘I’m thinking’ face on.
“Let’s go to the movies and then shopping!” Colette said.
“Ok, what do you want to see, I’ll go for anything.”
“Um, what’s out? There’s Pirates of the Caribbean 3, The Mummy, and Olive: The Other Reindeer.”
We finally decided to see Olive: The Other Reindeer. It was a Christmas fairytale about Santa’s other reindeer, Olive, who never got any credit. It was a good family movie. Then we went shopping. I got a top and a purse. Colette and I walked home.
Goodwin was in his ’54 convertible driving. The light turned red. There was a couple crossing the street. He saw them and revved his engine. He ran over them on purpose. We ran out into the road. The couple didn’t look fine at all. I instantly called 9-1-1.
“LIAR!” Colette called to Goodwin.
“Hello, 9-1-1, this is Brooke Lynn Price. My friend and I just witnessed a murder. We are at the corner of White Oak Road and Rues Lane. “
“We are sending an ambulance right now. Don’t touch the people; it is critical to their health,” came the voice on the phone.
I walked over to Goodwin. “Liar!” I yelled at him. “You said you wouldn’t do it again! Never again! I hope you go to jail!”
The ambulance siren sounded. They asked where are they, what happened, and other stuff like that. Goodwin has to go to jail, I thought.
But once again, he had to go to court.

Chapter 6: The Gavel
“Order! Order in the court! We are here today for the hearing of Goodwin Blankenship. He has run over 2 couples with his ’54 convertible. We have 2 witnesses. Their names are Brooke Lynn Price and Colette Adams.” The judge said in his ‘judge’ voice. We were sitting in the 1st row, where the defendant sits.
Colette and I had to swear on a bible that we would tell the whole truth, only the truth, and nothing but the truth. Goodwin’s lawyer asked Colette and I many questions. Here was one of his questions:
“Did you really see Goodwin run the couple over?”
Of course my answer was yes.
It seemed like five hours later when court finished. Goodwin was guilty, and it felt great that he was going to jail for life.

Chapter 7: The End
Colette and I felt great as we walked home. Aunt Faye was dancing around the house when she heard we won the case. We all had giant hot fudge sundaes with sprinkles, just like the way Ma made them. We thought we’d live happily ever after and we almost did.

---------- monkeytrouble277 added 37 Minutes and 15 Seconds later ----------

Bump please

Last edited by monkeytrouble277; 12-16-2007 at 06:46 PM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
monkeytrouble277 is offline
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Old 12-17-2007, 05:00 PM   #2
♥fiercely m e♥
Webkinz :)
Pistachio96's Avatar
Pistachio96 is just really nicePistachio96 is just really nice

Default Re: My story titled Him

Ohhh first post!!!!!!!!!!!

That was very good. You have some talent!

That was interesting and very spine-tingling.
Pistachio96 is offline Female
Old 12-17-2007, 05:47 PM   #3
monkeytrouble277's Avatar
monkeytrouble277 will become famous soon enough

Default Re: My story titled Him

Thank you and Congrats on first post
monkeytrouble277 is offline
Old 12-17-2007, 05:58 PM   #4
♥fiercely m e♥
Webkinz :)
Pistachio96's Avatar
Pistachio96 is just really nicePistachio96 is just really nice

Default Re: My story titled Him

Thanks, but you should be saying thanks....and i should CONGRATS to you!


I loved the story
Pistachio96 is offline Female
Old 12-18-2007, 04:23 PM   #5
monkeytrouble277's Avatar
monkeytrouble277 will become famous soon enough

Default Re: My story titled Him

I'm writing them in a sequel of the short stories and the next one is called Her. It includes all the characters here and one new one. Her name is Constance.
monkeytrouble277 is offline

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