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Old 08-22-2010, 09:20 PM   #1
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Wink Mary Kay and Me: The 90% true story of Dylan Andrews: The camp. The girl. The list.

"You... wouldn't..." I advanced closer to her.
"What makes you think that?" She dangled the folded piece of paper in front of the fire pit, it's taunting light reminding me that one STUPID MOVE FROM MARGRET would end my career.
"Give it to me Margret. And we can forget this ever happened. The Jell-o flood. The buttered floor. The Gucci stillettos." I dared myself not to breath heavily.
"THOSE Gucci stillettos?" She asked, eyeing my boots. Are these seriously all she wanted? She could have them!!! They tortured me throughout the night with the haunting guilt, the images of torn clothes and black eyes playing in my head like the tape from The Ring. I took them off immedeatly.
"Take them!" I begged. "Just don't hurt the list! Please!!!" She had me in a corner unexplored by any human ever.
"I won't hurt it." She smiled sweetly. She opened the list.
"WAIT, MARGARET DON'T!" I yelled. Too late. Her eyes, with the gleam of success, turned empty and filled with rage, her mouth hung open. I gulped down a sob and my mouth started to twitch. Just then, she crumpled it up and threw it into the fire.



"Declined." The cashier's piercing gaze looked into my eyes.
"Huh?" I asked. My eyes would have popped out of my head if I wasn't so cool.
"Declined." She smirked. Of all those years of taking EVERY PURSE IN THE STORE, asking for help trying on stuff and barking orders EVERY TIME A SEASON CAME OUT, this was the skinny college-aged clerk's way of getting back at me. I SERIOUSLY hoped she was having fun, cuz I sure as Gap wasn't! She should have just stuck with True Religion, Awnestly... it's ah-mazing how she managed to snag a job at Chanel the day it opened.
"Of course it's declined! She's got so many credit cards, it's hard to keep track of which ones are expired and which ones aren't!" Margaret rolled her eyes at the cashier and pulled a Mastercard out of her Fendi wallet. "I got this." She smiled. Thank G&P for Margaret Janes. The cashier tried not to blow up in rage as she handed the reciept and bag to me. Avoiding further humiliation, we got out of that Chanel Ay-sap, without even looking at the poor losers who were waiting in line for an hour to get in. It didn't matter anyway, because we got the last two everything. Last two silk wristlets. Last two alligator bags. Last two vintage-gone-now flapper dresses. We were the last winners that would leave that store today.
The Chanel had just opened in the Mall Of America- the mall I had been going to since I was born. EVERY Saturday me and Margaret would take the Jet for a 2 hour spin to the mall, and EVERY Saturday me and Margaret would tear up the mall with our credit cards for 7 hours, and EVERY Saturday me and Margaret would go home after our dinner at Forrest Gumps for a sleepover. But THIS SATURDAY, instead of tearing up the mall with our credit cards, I would have to tear up my credit card, period.
"I swear to G&P, Dylan, the things I do for you are so Juicy Couture, it's nawt funny." She rolled her eyes again, this time playfully. I forced myself to walk around Nickelodeon Universe, though all I wanted to do was run across the mini theme park, go to Starbucks, and get my mid-morning post-designer-rush double-shot. And trust me, 7 of those still wouldn't be able to drown out the memory of what just happened.


10 hours later, after I dropped Margaret off at her mansion (she had to go to a Bat Mitzvah early tomorrow and couldn't sleepover), I arrived at mine.
"MOM!" I shouted as soon as I closed the door. "WHAT THE GAP?" I kicked my DKNY pumps off at the door on the Gucci throw. Mom came running through the door, looking stunning as usual.
"Young lady!" She whisper snapped, indicating she was with a client, but I didn't care. "We do not use Gap in this household! Now you get up to your room, I need to talk to you! I'll be up in 30 minutes once Ms. Roberts has left!" Without giving me time to respond, she walked back into the kitchen and started apoligizing for MY behavior. The nerve of her... it's not MY fault I had to painstakingly watch Margaret run up and down through the aisles of Bloomingdales, knowing I couldn't even DREAM of buying anything today... I ran up the stairs. The moment my foot reached the top step, Topaz leaped from the shadows, her Tiffany bell collar jingling like mad. She must have heard my credit card was declined and came to help cheer me up. But not even a MILLION chihuahuas could cheer me up. I stomped all the way to the end of the foyer and opened my door. I walked in and flopped down on my 600-thread count comforter. If I wasn't be happy, neither was... the maid who ironed this comforter so nicely!
"Topaz..." I moaned, turning on my side with my face against my pillow. "What am I gonna DO." I contemplated my options.
A). Run away and live with Margaret
B). Get my entire school to support me in a lawsuit against my mother.
C). Get a job and get my own credit card!


A). M's brother is a stalker
B). The whole school is jealous of me... besides, it's my own money
C). ... AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Yeah, that's gonna happen

Then, Topaz gave me another idea as she pawed at my head.
"Topaz, what is it now?" I rolled over. She put my D&B bag on my forhead.
"Yeah, I guess you're right. I guess all I can do now is call M." I reached into my bag, and took out a gourmet puppy treat. I threw high up in the air near the door and she ran, jumped up, and caught it in her mouth. I chuckled to myself, just to lighten the mood, and pulled out my Iphone. I started dialing her number.
"Helloooo?" I heard her on the other end.
"Hi M." I smiled.
"Hey, brokey." She laughed at the other end.
"Very funny." I rolled my eyes. "You will NAWT believe what just happened to me."
"Oh! Me first." She sounded excited. "I've gawt the juiciest post-end-of-the-year party gawssip EVER." I assumed the gossip position, even though we weren't gossiping face-to-face. I turned on my stomache and put my pillow under my chin.
"K, so," she continued. "Jenny Ambros and Alexis Polatti-"
"The ever at-it Italians?" I rolled my eyes, ready for some good dirt.
"Yeah, them. So they were at Spencer Craig's end-of-the-year-party-"
"WAIT." I sat up. "Spencer Craig had an end-of-the-year party?" I asked, bewildered. Why would he NAWT invite me? I'm kind of his... well, ALMOSt girlfriend. Whatever. I'll make a mental note to block all future calls from him later. Right now, I had to go back to my relaxed gossip position so I didn't seem tense.
"Yeah! I heard it totally Hollistered, though." She sounded dissapointed, always using our inside thing of using bad brands like Gap and Hollister the way Smurfs would say... well, Smurf. "So Jenny and Alexis were wearing THE SAME DRESS." Mistake numero uno- never wear the same outfit twice or with another person on the same night. "And they started arguing over who wore it better like a bunch of pre-schoolers." Mistake numero dos- never fight over it in public. "Then Alexis socked Jenny in the face." Mistake numero tres- never mess with Jenny. "And Jenny pushed Alexis into the pool." And finally, mistake numero quattro- never mess with Alexis.
"Wow." I looked up at my deep purple canopy with wide eyes. That would have been awesome to catch on camera. Suddenly, I heard knocking on hardwood.
"M, I gotta go." I said into the phone like mom wasn't even there.
"Kay." She hung up. I put down my phone.
"Mom. WHY would you-" before I could vent, she pulled out a credit card bill and put it in my face.


That's right.


"So? Your credit card bill." I said, forcing myself not to believe it.
"No." She pushed her blonde hair out of her eyes. "YOUR credit card bill." She corrected me. We looked at each other for a long time. I waited for her to say something. She pushed my, lighter, blonde hair out of my eyes and took a long breath.
"It is totally unacceptable for a 15 year old to be spending this much in a 6 month period. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?"
"Well," I started to explain, not giving her anytime to say anything else. "I had to go to 10 Bat Mitzvahs this year mom, 10, that's 10 dresses, shoes, and purses, PLUS 10 gifts-"
"Ok, well do they have to be $1,000 gifts?" She smiled a tiny smile.
"I don't want to look lame." I said softly. What was going on?
"You're not lame. You're just going to be a Mary Kay Sales girl like I am."
"WHAT?" I screeched, startling mom and Topaz.
"It's time you got a job to learn the value of a dollar. And before you can start being a sales girl, I'm going to send you to a special camp that Margaret's mom sends her to every year to brush up on Mary Kay skills. It's in Bloomingtan, where the Mall of America is. You'll like it. I promise."
"Margaret?" I asked, oblivious to everything else she said after that.
"Yes, Margaret. She's a Mary Kay girl, you know." She turned and left.
"Wait!" I pulled out my hand and stopped her. Margaret would have to wait for this question.
"Can I please have my credit cards back on?" I asked, like it was a matter of life and death.
"Yes. I'll get right on it." She giggled. I hugged her.
"You're the best." I said into her Chanel No. 5 scented shirt.
"It runs in the family, sweetie. It runs in the family." She ran her manicured hand up and down my back. "Goodnight, buttercup." She kissed my head.
"Goodnight, mom." I kissed her cheek. She left.
Now onto a different subject.

Margaret is a MK girl? What. The. Gap.

Chapter 2
7 years beforehand, an 8 year old Dylan stood at the top of the staircase in the main foyer, her custom Loubiton ball gown glittering in the light of the chandelier as Margaret and the divorce fell not far from her knowledge. Perhaps more glimmering than her dress was the 2 story tree on the opposite end of the giant room. The scent of her Daisy Marc Jacobs perfume burned her nostrils . Perhaps more strongly scented than her perfume was the scent of pigs in a blanket as, per her mothers request, were being passed around to guests on silver platters by waiters accomponied by cheese and crackers. She smiled and gracefully slid her manicured hand down the banister as she walked down the stairs. Not long after she reached the polished concrete marble floor had Calvin arrived, grinning like mad.
"Care for a pig in a blanket, miss Andrews?" He held one of the silver platters an inch from her face, his Polish accent thick like the BBQ sauce next to the pigs.
"Merry Christmas, Calvin!" Dylan smiled and threw her arms around his neck, even though all he could manage under the circumstances was a one armed around her stomache. Calvin was her best friend, her mentor, her faithful assistant on boring summer days.
"I brought you back something from the convention in Japan. It's under the red ornament at the bottom, next to the pickle." He whispered then quickly covered his mouth. "Oops. Did I say that?" The thirty-something year old waiter winked at her. She giggled and hugged him again.
"You really shouldn't have gotten me anything, Calvin. You're the best." She hugged him, her perfume mixing with his cologne. She drew away, waved at him, and ran off to the tree, her Juicy kitten heels gliding against her soft, slippery stockings and hard, shiny floor. She skidded down just in time to find a rather large silver package underneath the ornament, just like he said. She cautiously peered around. As of right now, the only people near the tree were her well dressed cousins, who were also poking at their presents. She carefully pushed away the pink tissue and her hand slid down something velour-like, most definetly a blanket or stuffed animal, she was just about to pull it out when-
"Hey!" Her uncle barked, sending the kids scrambling. It was meant for his kids, her cousins, but she didn't care. She decided to get out of there and not open them until present time. She slipped into the bathroom to reapply some cherry lipgloss, where she also tried to figure out what could possible in that bag. Could it have been a tee-shirt? Definetly not. What about a purse? Maybe. How about a stuffed animal? That was it, she decided, since Calvin knew she liked stuffed animals. She walked out of the bathroom with a skip in her step, her blonde curls bobbing up and down.
"I don't care, William!" She heard a voice. Not one from the party room, one from the kitchen. It was her mother! She decided this would be an excellent time to snoop, using the skills from her 7-part spy kit which she had mailed in 10 Fruity Pebbles coins for. But she couldn't have picked a worse time.
She put her ear against the door, which was warm from the heat of the food preparing inside.
"Maggie, dear, why don't you believe me?" Her father tried to sound comforting.
"Because according to Jerry, you HAVEN'T been golfing with him all season long! Which means you had to have been doing SOMETHING to occupy those long hours. And then that was that week-long business trip- Oh my gosh! The business trip! I don't even want to KNOW what happened on the business trip." She sounded like she was about to cry and her 4 inch stilettos tapped about the stainless steel floor.
"Don't sweetheart me! What's her-"
"Hey!" A voice interrupted, a man. "The kids are getting wily. You wanna open presents before dinner to shut em up?"
"Yeah. Lets." Maggie said. "We will talk about this after dinner." She whispered once the doors to the kitchen at the other end shut. They walked out again.
Dylan, on the other hand, was already skidding her way through the hallways and had arrived at the tree just as the kids were opening their presents. She opened a present from her mother- her first pair of Tiffany earrings! She got them pierced that March and still had only changed them once- that night. They were her mom's diamonds. But she didn't have to borrow them anymore, because her aunt gave her another pair- her mom's were silver studs, but the ones her aunt gave her were Emeralds, just like her birthstone. Her dad gave her a little Juicy purse, her favorite brand at the time. Her grandma got her the most grandma gift ever- a knitted sweater (which she never wore, but hung up in her room like a prized possesion for a year). She thanked her aunt and grandma, and looked to find her parents.
"WHO IS CATHERINE?" Her mom shrieked. Her father looked down. Her heart began accelerating. Her mom threw the Gap shirt into the fireplace, where it roared with new flames, just like her anger.
"THE CHARADE IS OVER. AND SO ARE WE." Her mom stormed out of the house, leaving her dad in shame and humiliation.
Dylan was already upstairs, crying her eyes off in her room, while her present from Calvin remained unopened.
A little while later Dylan heard a knocking at the door.
"Who is it?" Dylan sobbed.
"It's me." Calvin came in. Good, she thought. She was still crying, partly because nobody even bothered to comfort her. He had his present in one hand. Dylan sat up.
"You shouldn't have seen that. I'm sorry." He sat down and hugged her. Dylan started crying harder. He ran his hand up and down her shoulder in a comforting way.
"W-why would h-he-" Dylan cried harder at the thought as Calvin pulled out a tissue and whiped some snot from her nose.
"I know, I know, it's hard." His voice was like velvet- comforting and warm. "There's something else I have to talk to you about, though. I have to go back to Poland to take care of my mom."
"F-for how l-long?" Dylan asked, starting to calm down. Calvin took a deep breath.
"Forever, princess." He admitted. Dylan's heart stopped and it felt like it shattered into a million pieces.
"No... no.... NO!" Her voice became stronger everytime she said know and she burst out crying again.
"I know, princess. It's going to be hard. But don't worry. I still have a good month before I go." Dylan and Calvin sat down on the bed in silence for what seemed like forever as she thought about how quickly her life was ending. Then Calvin smiled. "You forgot this." He said. She finally picked the present from out of the bag and her face lit up.
"Hello Kitty!" She smiled. It was a Hello Kitty PJ set attacked to a Choco-cat plushie. She hugged Calvin.
"You're the best." She said, her voice muffeld in his shirt. They walked downstairs and had some dessert until it felt like their stomaches were gonna pop. People kept coming up to Dylan, hugging her and telling her it was going to be OK.
"May I have this dance?" Calvin held out his hand and she held him tightly, never wanting to let go and have him swet away to Poland. Then a thought crossed her mind.
If I buy myself presents to make every day seem like Christmas, I bet the memory of this Christmas will go away soon.

Last edited by gwenstefani333; 08-24-2010 at 08:16 PM..
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Old 08-22-2010, 10:39 PM   #2
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Default Re: Mary Kay and Me: The 90% true story of Dylan Andrews: The camp. The girl. The list.

I like it...
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Old 08-23-2010, 02:10 PM   #3
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millie12378956 is the bees knees!millie12378956 is the bees knees!millie12378956 is the bees knees!millie12378956 is the bees knees!millie12378956 is the bees knees!millie12378956 is the bees knees!millie12378956 is the bees knees!

Default Re: Mary Kay and Me: The 90% true story of Dylan Andrews: The camp. The girl. The list.

I. Love. It!
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Old 08-24-2010, 09:27 PM   #4
Call Me Sarah!
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millie12378956 is the bees knees!millie12378956 is the bees knees!millie12378956 is the bees knees!millie12378956 is the bees knees!millie12378956 is the bees knees!millie12378956 is the bees knees!millie12378956 is the bees knees!

Default Re: Mary Kay and Me: The 90% true story of Dylan Andrews: The camp. The girl. The list.

Awwwwww! That really was a tear-jerker!
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