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Old 05-07-2011, 02:45 PM   #1
Garfield loves
Webkinz :)
 
sillybung's Avatar
sillybung is cool as a bunny clownsillybung is cool as a bunny clownsillybung is cool as a bunny clownsillybung is cool as a bunny clownsillybung is cool as a bunny clownsillybung is cool as a bunny clownsillybung is cool as a bunny clownsillybung is cool as a bunny clown

Default Just./.Smile./.


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Chapter 1
My mother onces told me that you can fix any situation with a smile. Gleaming proudly at the pain and sorrow I feel everyday as I listen to my mothers words.
Oh but you can't always smile at everything, no matter how hard you try, smiling won't make you feel anything when your lost in huge world. Staring through the bakery glass windows I longed to have some fresh bread, but I went on. I must save my money, and besides, the bread in my napsack was still fine, stale, but perfectly fine.

Chapter 2
I sat on a near-by bench and grabbed a peice of bread. It was crunchy, yet soft and flavorless. Better than nothing I thought. The beautiful way the sun setted made a crowd of people in the plaza say "Ooh" and "ahh" Their were many shops getting ready to close soon, such as Mr.Moody's Shoe shop and Slyvia O-tike: Art in new levels. The one store that would remain open for a little bit longer, was the bakery...
Then I saw it, A smile spread across my weiry face and I ran.
Help Wanted
The very words were painted in a vermillion red and layed on a white board.
Sally's Bakery was hiring, and I knew, I would be the first to get their.
oh no I thought. Aunt Maya would be waiting at the house. And I knew, I could not procede to my intentions.
I turned sadly away.
I did not smile

Last edited by sillybung; 05-11-2011 at 06:54 PM..
sillybung is offline Female
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Old 05-11-2011, 12:32 AM   #2
kurdt kobain
Webkinz :)
 
Kesha's Avatar
Kesha could win a popularity contestKesha could win a popularity contestKesha could win a popularity contest
Kesha could win a popularity contestKesha could win a popularity contestKesha could win a popularity contestKesha could win a popularity contestKesha could win a popularity contestKesha could win a popularity contestKesha could win a popularity contestKesha could win a popularity contestKesha could win a popularity contestKesha could win a popularity contestKesha could win a popularity contestKesha could win a popularity contest

Default Re: Just./.Smile./.

Very good story so far! I like your way of words - how you managed to let readers know that the character is poor without actually saying it.
I just think you should make your chapter a bit longer.
Other than that, it's great (:
Kesha is offline
Old 05-11-2011, 06:54 PM   #3
Garfield loves
Webkinz :)
 
sillybung's Avatar
sillybung is cool as a bunny clownsillybung is cool as a bunny clownsillybung is cool as a bunny clownsillybung is cool as a bunny clownsillybung is cool as a bunny clownsillybung is cool as a bunny clownsillybung is cool as a bunny clownsillybung is cool as a bunny clown

Default Re: Just./.Smile./.

Thank you I tried to make it longer but I had writers block xD

New chapter

New banner

Last edited by sillybung; 05-11-2011 at 06:54 PM..
sillybung is offline Female
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