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Old 05-22-2008, 05:12 PM   #1
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Default BlueClan - The Beginning

BlueClan - The Beginning



Her blue tinted fur ruffled in the silent breeze, brillant blue eyes flicking around the crowd. As she raised her paw, clouds floated away from the shining moon. As she flicked her tail, Silverpelt shone brighter. "Long live BlueClan.." she mummered.


Blue winced, her eyes opening slowly. She flexed her claws on the marble floor. What's with these dreams? she thought, slightly slidding towards her metal food bowl. Bending her head slowly, the white she-cat chewed a pellet between her front teeth. Blue wrinkled her nose in disgust. Growling softly, she swallowed the food reluctantly. "What's wrong?" came a soothing, low purr. Blue whipped around, sighing with relief. "You scared me, Sky!" A tom, looking exactly like his sister, brushed from behind the counter. "The least you can do, is save me some," he teased, plunging his head into the bowl. "How can you eat that stuff?" she spat. Sky looked up, smacking his tongue across his lips. "It's good," he mumbled, mouth full. Blue rolled her eyes, watching her housefolk yowl as they made their way down the stairs. "Time for action," her brother mewed, leaping up onto their laps, purring lowly. Blue sighed, brushing her tail across the door.

"I don't understand you anymore," Sky sighed, following Blue as they slipped out of the house. "Hmm?" she hummed, bending down to sniff the lavender in her garden. He rolled his eyes, flicking his tail impatiently. "Quite down yet?" he growled. Suddenly, Blue's ears flicked up. "Oh!", she whispered. A blue leaf fluttered above her head. "It's..beautiful!" She balanced on her hind legs, touching it with her nose. "Wait, come back," she whispered, as the leaf began floating over the gate. "Blue! Where are you going?" Sky yowled, chasing after his sister, who leaped through the gap in the gate. "Blue!"

-

Blue raised her tail, trotting casually through the forest. Wait, what am I doing? But that leaf.. She leaped onto a low branch as the blue oak leaf fluttered up a tree. Balancing carefully, she saw her brother through the leaves. "Sky!" she called softly, squirming through the tangled branches. Suddenly, Blue's head poked out of the top of the tree. "Wow!" she whispered. The tree overlooked the forest, and behind it, a brillant clearing with a shining lake. Sky made a brillant leap, digging his thorn-sharp claws into the bark. "Blue, wait!" he wailed, making his way through the tree. But Blue had already begun racing towards the lake.

-

Blue yelped, snapping her tiny paw away from the ground. "Mouse dung!" she spat, as Sky came into view. "What's wrong with you?" he panted. "Maybe tired out from running?" She glared at him. "My paw hurts," she growled. Sky bent down, sniffing her injury. "A snagged claw," he muttered. He began rasping his tongue in soothing strokes over her paw. Blue sighed with relief, placing it gently on the muddy ground. "Thanks, Sky. How'd you know what to do?" She turned her head in confusion. Sky shrugged. "The starry cats in my dreams told me."

Last edited by WebkinzRockHardGurl; 05-23-2008 at 11:23 AM..
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Old 05-22-2008, 05:17 PM   #2
is smitchellicious
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Default Re: BlueClan - The Beginning

Good start! Watch your verb tense ... "Oh!, she whispered, a blue leaf fluttering above her head" should read "Oh!", she whispered. A blue leaf fluttered above her head.

You're doing well! Keep writing.
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Old 05-22-2008, 05:41 PM   #3
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Default Re: BlueClan - The Beginning

Thanks for the tip, smitchell!
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Old 05-22-2008, 06:24 PM   #4
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Default Re: BlueClan - The Beginning

Great start! I hope you write more.
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Old 05-22-2008, 08:53 PM   #5
Call me Wormtail! xD
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Default Re: BlueClan - The Beginning

Awesome story!
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Old 05-22-2008, 09:24 PM   #6
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Default Re: BlueClan - The Beginning

Thanks, WL, cheergirl =]
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