NEWS FLASH: Webkinz for President?
Associated Press -- Question: what do Rudy Giuliani, Mitt Romney, and a hippo Webkinz named Mr. Bubbles have in common? Answer: they are all seeking the Republican nomination for President of the United States.
Mr. Bubbles announced his candidacy last week at an informal tea party. He articulated a platform based around family values, fair trade and HANNAH MONTANA ROCKS!!!
Political observers have still been coming to grips with the consequences of a Webkinz run for Commander-in-Chief. "This is earth shattering," said Mary Lowe, assistant editor of The New York Times Alternate Reality Edition. "On the Democratic side of the aisle, there's been a lot of speculation and commotion about whether Obama will be able to derail Clinton. But if Mr. Bubbles wins the Republican nomination, none of that even matters. I mean, why even bother running against such a cute lil' hippo? Look at his frizzy blue hair, his big plush snout... how could you not vote for him?"
While Mr. Bubbles' bid for President has attracted a lot of attention, skeptics have been quick to point out that the Webkinz is not a legitimate candidate. "A presidential candidate needs to be at least 35 years old and a natural born citizen," noted political scientist Dr. Henry Jaffer. "This hippo is, what, two years old, if that? And the tag on his rear clearly states that he was born in China."
In response to Jaffer's comments, one Bubbles supporter said, "Well, laws can be changed, Mr. Smarty-Pants. So nyahh!"