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How to Name Webkinz with Eaze!


The issue of naming your new Webkinz is obviously a significant one, since (A) there's a whole forum here dedicated to this subject, and (B) some of you get new Webkinz at the rate of several per hour, making it difficult enough to keep up with the influx without wasting precious moments agonizing over appropriate names. (You know who you are!) But anyways, here are six excellent techniques that yield delightful pet names.

1. Animal Mix-N'-Match
Name your pet after a feature characteristic of an entirely different animal. For example, I have a hippo named Moo. The fact that my hippo is named after the sound a cow makes is not only delightfully idiosyncratic; it also suggests interesting details about his history. You might have a frog named Whiskers, or a tiger named Oink.

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2. The "Abominable Real Name"
Think of a name that exists, which is or has been given to people, which causes you to think, "Good Lord, if my parents had named me that, I could never forgive them!" Such names are often actually cute when appended to Webkinz. For example, Brunhilda the elephant, or Alphonso the alley cat.

3. Names from History
My wife has a frog named King George III. I have a Panda named Comrade Mao (after famed Chinese leader Mao Tsetung). Why not a bullfrog named Winston Churchill, or a pug named Ivan the Terrible, or Mahatma Gandhi the cow? Such names lend your Webkinz an air of sophistication and, provided you didn't sleep through history class, are easily brought to mind.

4. Foreign Language
I have found my high school German lessons to be helpful in picking Webkinz names. I have a polar bear named Blitzkrieg ("lightning war"). More recently I acquired a pig named Andre W. Fleisch. This is a playful variation on the German expression "der andere weisses Fleisch," which means, "the other white meat." (Fortunately, pigs have a good sense of humor about such things.)

5. Mythology
A spotted frog named Zizilia, a cheeky monkey named Kan... these are my wife's Webkinz. Did you know that Kan is the Mayan Bacab of the north? Or that Zizilia was an ancient Polish goddess? Do you have any idea what a Bacab is? Me neither, but it sounds cool! Do a Wikiepdia search on the mythology of the culture of your choice, and you're bound to come across some great Webkinz names.

6. Disney Movies (Last Resort)
I have a Panda named Mulan. There, I said it. I'm a grown man with a stuffed Panda named after the heroine of an animated Disney movie. Thank God I'm already married.

7. Biblical Names
the rules are a little more complicated.

Any name in the Bible is fair game for a Webkinz, with the following caveats:

  1. Any Webkinz assuming the name Jehovah, Yahweh or Jesus Christ will be answering directly to God.
  2. Any Webkinz assuming the name Satan or Baal will also have to answer to God, for slightly different reasons.
  3. Any Webkinz assuming the name Delilah or Judas will be instantly ostracized, as s/he might as well have "I'M AN ACCURSED TRAITOR" tattooed to his/her forehead.
  4. Any Webkinz assuming the name Nebuchadnezzar will just have to get used to people calling him "Nezzie" for short.
  5. The name of Moses is off limits until the Curio Shop gets ahold of more White Prophet Beards.

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