George Bushybear and Operation: Iraki Fried Ham

Irak is a barren and inhospitable land. Its population is 95% Zangoz and 5% stunted, dyspeptic gorillas. Historically, Iraki society -- everything from politics to religion to art -- has revolved around the grand idea of hitting things with sticks.

Through the years certain high-minded Webkinz, distressed by such barbarism, have endeavored to bring "proper" civilization to the Iraki people. The most recent of these cultural crusaders was George W. Bushybear. As Commander-in-Chef of the United States of Antacid, Bushybear reasoned that the way to the heart was through the stomach; and that, were he able to impress upon the Irakis the superiority of civilized cuisine -- say, his famous fried ham -- then a hunger for the other benefits of civilization would necessarily follow.

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Thus, he launched Operation: Iraki Fried Ham, and set off to Irak with his portable stove to feed some Zangoz.



He arrived at the port town of Zangzibar and whipped up a feast. When they had finished eating, the locals picked up their sticks and, in a uniquely Iraki display of gratitude, beat George soundly about the head and shoulders.

The same scenario unfolded in the next town that George visited. At this point most Webkinz would've just thrown in the towel. But George W. Bushybear's conviction was strong -- stronger than his common sense, in any case. For two months he wandered Irak, frying ham and getting bludgeoned, until at last he was too bruised and sore to even cook anymore. Defeated, he limped home, stove in tow, wondering what had gone wrong.

Operation: Iraki Fried Ham was over, to the great relief of Pigs everywhere.